There’s nothing worse than a bad break-up.
He was supposed to be The One. He went to your school, lived in your neighborhood, you grew up together. You were in love for 7 years, and the future seemed so bright. There had never been anyone like him. Your past had been filled with disappointment and heartache until he chose you.
You gave him all you had, but he left you… for someone hotter.
But that was two years ago, and he’s moved on. All of his dreams have come true, with someone else. On his big day, he mentions you sadly, but makes it clear he made the right choice. Can you, the bitter ex, move on? Or are you still listening to that break-up playlist? Could you ever be happy for him, for them?
Yep, I’m talking to you Cleveland.
LeBron James, the Miami Heat’s MVP in the NBA finals, finally got what he was after – a championship. Even though he was “King James” in Ohio – three-time “Mr. Basketball” while in high school, number one NBA draft pick by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2003, Rookie of the Year, 4 NBA MVP awards – he didn’t think he would ever get what he really wanted – an NBA championship ring – with the Cavs.
So now that he is King of the NBA, back in Ohio fans are left swallowing a bitter pill. Seems to me, it would be a lot like watching the love of your life move on to live happily-ever-after with someone else.
Is it possible to be happy for the happiness of someone who broke you heart? Or is being gracious the best you can do?
My online research indicates most people think indifference is the best they could do. Check out eNotAlone.com, where member “Octour” says simply, “Yeah, I don’t understand the ‘Let go with Love’ mentality. All I want to do right now is reach out and strangle.”
As I read this, I thought, “Surely Oprah would have a story of someone who’s happy for their ex…” and, BAM, there they are: Jose, Michelle and Malcolm. Jose says, “Michelle and I had a friend dynamic before we got married, so the jump back to being just friends again felt natural. I think love changes. I think it’s normal for people to break up and move on. I’ve been married four times and I’m still in touch with all my ex-wives.”
Okay, maybe not the best example…
Dr. Valerie Lamont, in the Daily Mail Online, UK, has some advice. She says, in the case of an ex getting married, “writing a warm, friendly message inside and sending it off to your ex will make you feel a whole lot better. The fact that you’ve soared above the childish feelings of ‘but he wasn’t meant to be happy with someone else’ to wish him well will help you get things in perspective.”
She says if you don’t have to travel in the same social circles, and the split was really ugly, “In these circumstances, making contact could actually make you feel worse – try to leave things as they are and focus on your current relationship.”
For you Cleveland, the “current relationship” means your upcoming NBA draft. It’s time to dry those tears, get all dolled up and go get Mr. Right(s) for your team.