Teaspoon of Happy

Guided By Your Own Best Thinking

Emotions and big transitions in life can often make it difficult to remember who we are and what we believe. We can get into a fog or a muck or a cloud that lasts months at a time, sometimes leading us to feel that we have changed the way we feel about something when we really haven’t. When we’re in a balanced emotional state, we’re also the most rational. Life is not obscured by fear or pain or stress. In this place, we can make sense of our feelings because we are objective. It is here that profound, important understanding about life and those around us set in. This is also the time to mark these understandings in writing, so that we can know them as truth that we can rely on. These truths are like tent-poles that we can tether to in a storm, trusting that they remain true in times of strife.

A truth that would serve as a tent-pole might be, “I trust this person.” Or, “This person loves me and would never want to hurt me.” Or, “I am smart and I am loving.” Or even, “Things change, this is only one day.” Whatever your truths are, write about them and confirm them to yourself so when you’re beginning to feel overwhelmed or upset or a relationship is a bit “off,” you can triangulate to them.

If your head is spinning and you have bad thoughts running through your head about someone you care about or a situation you’re in, this is a sign that you need to stop. When your head’s doing all the work, it’s usually because there’s a conflict with your gut feelings. Those thoughts are coming from the wrong place and are usually not based in an accurate view of reality. This is a time to rely on your truths. Whatever is left unknown outside of those, for now focus on letting go. You cannot solve them until you just know them. Take deep breaths. When you start to spin, stop and focus on letting go of the effort. This is not going to be solved by your brain. This will only be solved by your gut and that cannot happen when you’re stuck in your head.

When you know something it feels different. It’s comforting and reassuring. It just feels true. Celebrate those truths and when you can see them, record them. You can use them in the future as tools for relief in less balanced times. If you can learn to trust your own words, you’ll find that you can change a lot of negative behavior that comes from acting on those “head-spun” feelings. You’ll find that you can be your own voice of reason, therapist, and your own cool-headed best friend. Next time, before you act, stop and listen to your own best thinking. You might find that it takes you to the right place.

Happy Sunday xox Sarah

Featured image Copyright All rights reserved by Mark Jardine 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=10501837 Maureen Hanlon

    I am saving this article…thank you!! :))

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=670986056 Sarah May Bates

      Thank you Maureen – so glad :) xo

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1652421693 Amalia Pantazi

    Third paragraph is 100% me – my head tends to do all the work, all the time!
    I think, however, that the truths we can use as tentpoles (excellent metaphor, by the way) can only refer to ourselves. Like the “I am smart, I am loving” part. My personal experience taught me that we can’t have concrete opinions on most people, if not on all people. People sometimes change, or what we think of them change because we’ve been wrong about them all along. I know I’ve been wrong about people. A lot. And it’s usually a disappointment, but that’s another story.
    Thanks, Sarah! Your last articles are pretty deep, I’ve done a lot of thinking on them! xx

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=670986056 Sarah May Bates

      Thanks Amalia! I hear you. I have been wrong a lot too, and people definitely change, but I can save (only as of late) that i have a couple truths about others that I feel good about investing in. I’ve grown a strong connection to my gut in the last couple years, I think that’s the only reason why it feels different now. Thanks as always for your comment xoxoo

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002581598663 Hans Johan Svensson


    In Budhism (I´m an atheist) they talk about people being as rivers. They may flow in the same place but the water is allways new. I have my sences and memorys and experiances and what I´ve read or heard. this is the window through wich i see the world around me.

    I can present myself in a shorter version of me to be more popular. It is definately what i would do for a jobinterveuw. But, then i would neglect the fact that each moment in life can be new discovery – about myself aswell as of someone else.
    So, I can´t really tell anyone, or myself, who I am. I can tell of my likes and dislikes. I can say what I love or not. I have a lot of opinions. I´m well read most of the time when I open my mouth.

    Don´t worry about not being sure of yourself. Because there is no one who is.

    Do not ever let anyone tell you who you are. That must allways be your own discovery.

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