Emotions and big transitions in life can often make it difficult to remember who we are and what we believe. We can get into a fog or a muck or a cloud that lasts months at a time, sometimes leading us to feel that we have changed the way we feel about something when we really haven’t. When we’re in a balanced emotional state, we’re also the most rational. Life is not obscured by fear or pain or stress. In this place, we can make sense of our feelings because we are objective. It is here that profound, important understanding about life and those around us set in. This is also the time to mark these understandings in writing, so that we can know them as truth that we can rely on. These truths are like tent-poles that we can tether to in a storm, trusting that they remain true in times of strife.
A truth that would serve as a tent-pole might be, “I trust this person.” Or, “This person loves me and would never want to hurt me.” Or, “I am smart and I am loving.” Or even, “Things change, this is only one day.” Whatever your truths are, write about them and confirm them to yourself so when you’re beginning to feel overwhelmed or upset or a relationship is a bit “off,” you can triangulate to them.
If your head is spinning and you have bad thoughts running through your head about someone you care about or a situation you’re in, this is a sign that you need to stop. When your head’s doing all the work, it’s usually because there’s a conflict with your gut feelings. Those thoughts are coming from the wrong place and are usually not based in an accurate view of reality. This is a time to rely on your truths. Whatever is left unknown outside of those, for now focus on letting go. You cannot solve them until you just know them. Take deep breaths. When you start to spin, stop and focus on letting go of the effort. This is not going to be solved by your brain. This will only be solved by your gut and that cannot happen when you’re stuck in your head.
When you know something it feels different. It’s comforting and reassuring. It just feels true. Celebrate those truths and when you can see them, record them. You can use them in the future as tools for relief in less balanced times. If you can learn to trust your own words, you’ll find that you can change a lot of negative behavior that comes from acting on those “head-spun” feelings. You’ll find that you can be your own voice of reason, therapist, and your own cool-headed best friend. Next time, before you act, stop and listen to your own best thinking. You might find that it takes you to the right place.
Happy Sunday xox Sarah
Featured image All rights reserved by Mark Jardine