Champagne Problems

Girl-bashing Girls

Pumpkin eyes, I’ve missed thee.  Okee doke. If no one’s gonna talk about it, then let Momma Coccoli (I’m Momma Coccoli) take the reigns here. Girl on girl bashing. Sounds sultry, right? Goodness me oh my, no. This has to stop. Like, red light stop. Like, now stop. Not just because it bothers other people and benefits no one as its happening but mostly because you’re a girl, why are you bashing you’re own Barbie doll kind?

Okay, maybe you’re all not “Barbie doll kinds” but its an adorable name and so long as I have you locked-in attention-wise I get to call you what I like, si? Si. I don’t know what else to say except that I ran into another lady as she was word vomiting these gems the other day: “I don’t have girlfriends. Girls are so much drama”, “I prefer male friends” and my all time favorite which literally puts me to sleep, “Women aren’t funny.” ZZZZzzzzzz. Eh, boy. The infamous trigger words that inadvertently expose you, talky-McNegative-talky, as the reason people don’t like having girlfriends. Women that do this, or women that know of women that do this, we have to pull it together. You can’t walk around close-minded for the rest of your life about other women.

A female manager in the hip Los Angeles entertainment industry asked me to lunch one afternoon, with the potential of possibly working together in the future. Lunch went great. She’s crazy hip, well traveled and had her “wild stage” (I don’t trust a person unless they’ve had one) but “doesn’t have girlfriends” and felt it necessary while paying the check to end on this: “You’re going to be mad when I say this, but men are funnier then women.” Oh, where do I sign, “professional manager shaping careers”? Like, what? This is coming out of people’s mouths daily. And this is all hunky dory? No way.

Am I out my mind here when I say that women are bashing other women to just fit in? You are trying to tell me that as an adult grown human, you can’t find one woman you like or trust? Pff. Don’t buy it. Quit selling. No likey. Nothing sets us back further than when woman/girl is talking poorly and in bad taste because of a cliche line that got them through high school unscathed. Next time you hear it said, force this girl into a hug. Even if she fights you, I say do it. Let her feel the human touch since her heart has blackened like a swordfish at a Red Lobster. Then challenge her to exchange numbers with you. That’s right, you’re walking into the lion’s den with no armor. By the time you’ve actually gotten her number to begin a friendship, she may have fainted because no one in her 30 years of life had tried to jump the walls that her low-self esteem has built.

Rid yourself of the jealously, ladies. There is success for everybody out there. Don’t you dare be intimidated when someone prettier, funnier and more charismatic walks into a room with you because they’re is always going to be one and you are beautiful so long as you’re being true to yourself. Shake her hand and mean it. Stop fighting each other to be that one Jennifer Aniston with five dudes in a blockbuster film.  We’ve come super far and we have work too hard to hear one more hard up girl with “success” in her eyes bad mouth another female in front a group of dudes because it’s all she knows. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to drive to Beverly Hills and hug the crap out of that manager.

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