Round 1: This George – Check
I use my George Foreman Grill all of the time. Judge me? Judge you! I don’t need it to be Labor Day or July 4th or Guy Fawkes Day (What up, UK!?) to have a reason to throw something on the grill (and then plug the grill in). Once, I dragged my George Foreman Grill out onto the deck of my apartment. So I understand your world. So does my boy, George Foreman, who makes indoor/outdoor grills. I’m just not ready for that world yet. Or maybe I just need a longer extension cord. That’s my business. Regardless, it’s worth noting that I have The Superchamp Grill. I’m real real married to it and don’t know that I want to grill up. “Grill Up” is BBQ speak for upgrading your grill. Please don’t make me hold your hand through this. Anyway, I think The Superchamp Grill model is from the same year that I was Bat Mitzvah’d. Normally, I embrace change. I love technology. But for some reason, I like my George Foreman Grill to be old timey. Stay gold, George Foreman Grill. Stay gold. And like I said, it’s called The Superchamp Grill. Do you have a grill that compliments you every time you use it? Probably not. Why would you have any other grill when you can have one that calls you a champ, which is being the best at something and then goes even further by turning you into some kind of super hero by calling you The Superchamp. My George Foreman Grill is a reflection of me. I know that it doesn’t literally talk to me. And if it did, I would certainly keep it to myself.
Round 2: This George – Pending
I’m pretty sure that there are only a few of us left who have yet to go to George Clooney’s Lake Como Villa. I’m not sure what we’ve done wrong, but I’ve chosen to keep an open mind because I’ve heard that Clooney is the best guy ever in all of mankind. So, here’s what I’m going to do. And George Clooney, I assume that you’re an avid reader of HelloGiggles, so I know I can speak directly to you now. Here goes: Ciao, George. Much like Marine Sargeant Scott Moore asking Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps Ball in North Carolina, I’m asking you to ask me to come to your villa in Italy. GC, check it. My invitation is way lower maintenance than Sgt. Moore’s. Not to be judgey. But his was time stamped. That Marine Corps Ball is November 18th in North Carolina end of story. That must’ve totally stressed Mila Kunis out. She was probably thinking, “Dammit! I totally want to go to this ball in North Carolina with this sargeant who is currently protecting our country in Afghanistan and took the time to make a super sweet You Tube video to invite me. How am I going to rearrange the schedule I already had in place pre-invite so I can get there and go to this? Sh*t, I really want to go! Agents, managers, publicists, Starbucks, please help me! I’m freakin’ out!”
G-Force, I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. And, the only reason I didn’t make you an adorable You Tube video to ask you (to ask me) is because I just got back from a hike at Runyon Canyon and it’s not that I look gross, it’s just more that I don’t feel like putting on make up and also I need my roots done. And I’m not that good at embedding video. But it’s all good because as we established earlier, you read HelloGiggles all the time. So you’re reading this now. Okay, here’s what I’m proposing – pick any date you want. Seriously! Any date!!! And I’ll make myself available! Done and done! Oh, if you want – and you do not have to do this but if you want to – hook a girl up with some of those Up in the Air miles, that would be rad. Wow. You didn’t hear it, because I didn’t do a You Tube video, but I just sighed. And smiled. And opened a pack of Extra Peppermint gum. I guess the sigh and the smile are the part that pertain to you. I really can’t wait to hear from you and then I’ll Como on over! George, that’s just one example of the jokes I’m capable of. xo
Next week, we’ll cover George Wendt and Georg(ia) O’Keeffe.
Featured image by Maira Kalman