Did everyone catch last night’s premiere of television’s most highly-anticipated show, Game of Thrones? Viewing parties across the country gathered to find out if Daenerys and her dragons would make it to King’s Landing, and one very intrepid beauty blogger gave us the gift of a Game of Thrones makeup tutorial, and we can’t stop laughing.
Vlogger Jamie Makeup has given us a truly committed look at how those residing in Westeros get glammed up, and it’s just as hilarious as you would imagine. Using some truly unique tools and techniques, now you can look as hot as a Wildling on a village raid-date.
Jamie Makeup’s Game of Thrones tutorial starts off strong and has us wondering why a fish is present.
First things first, we need some eyeshadow. Given that resources are limited in the Seven Kingdoms, Jamie burned a stick to create ash that she smeared along her eyelid.
Contour’s up next, so Jamie grounded up some rocks to create a lovely shade of terra-cotta. No brushes available here — all good Westeros use their fingers to apply their bronzer.
Though as Jamie points out, it’s a bit more Dothraki than Cersei, but it gets the job done.
And since a bold lip is important no matter where you are, Jamie rustled up some blood to stain those lips a cherry red color. We have a feeling this is how Ramsey spruced up in the mornings before he met his untimely end — he was always oddly pink, don’t you think?
It’s shiny, and a bit unnerving.
In possibly the grossest portion of the Game of Thrones makeup tutorial, Jamie uses fish scales to create highlight.
That’s why the fish was hanging around! She rubs the scales off with her lancer and then puts the moistness on her cheeks.
Wow, fam. It worked. Excuse us while we retch a bit.
Jamie uses cherries as a cheek stain, and this is the part of the tutorial we can really get behind. Tasty and effective.
And of course, regardless of where we are in space and time, one must blend their makeup. And what better way to blend than with a handy-dandy dragon egg?
Jamie goes even further down into the world of Game of Thrones for the rest of the tutorial, and you’re going to have to watch it yourself to see how it all ends. Let’s just say that there are actual bones involved. Those with weak stomachs need not apply!
Watch the rest of Jamie’s Game of Thrones makeup tutorial, below:
Are you enough of a hardcore GoT fan to try this one out? It’s definitely a test of wills — much like surviving Queen Cersei’s reign. But if anyone can do it, it’s our intrepid beauty lovers.