When pictures from a recent Full House cast reunion were released, I nearly died. I’ll be honest, it weirded me out just how good it felt to see everyone back together again (well, sans Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen and the kids who played Nicky and Alex). Looking at those pictures (as well as watching Tom Hanks perform Full House slam poetry on Jimmy Fallon) I was reminded of how the show was such a seminal part of my childhood. It also made me wonder: where exactly would our favorite San Francisco family be today, seventeen years after the series finale?
So here’s what I think the characters from Full House are doing in 2012:
Danny Tanner still lives in The Full House. Although, these days, the house isn’t so packed. Instead, it’s just him and his wife, Helen. Yep, Danny got remarried (with his daughters’ blessings). He met Helen when she was a guest on Wake up, San Francisco during her 2002 run for city council. Currently, she’s about to make a bid for mayor. Danny continues to host that weirdly still-popular-yet-sort-of-cult-classic morning show (as well as the annual telethon). Danny and Helen are sort of what you’d call a power couple. They even got to ride on floats during the San Francisco Giants’ World Series Victory Parade in 2010 and 2012 (Danny was giddy both times). Interestingly enough, Helen is a lot different than Danny. She’s adventurous, free-spirited and has no idea how to get tough stains out of clothes. But here’s the thing: Helen and Danny are good for one another. They balance each other out. For example, Helen recently hired a housekeeper to deal with Danny’s OCD cleaning habit. And guess what? It’s helped. The other day, Danny saw a dirty dish in the sink and didn’t flip out.
Jesse Katsopolis and Becky Donaldson Katsopolis are still happily married. They own an apartment in the San Francisco neighborhood of SOMA. However, the family is hardly ever home. The twins are off at college. Alex, taking after his mom, is studying journalism at the University of Nebraska while Nicky, taking after his dad, is studying music production at Berklee in Boston. On the side, Nicky plays bass in a band called Have Mercy. With the boys away, Jesse and Becky began traveling for work. Jesse, no longer a stay-at-home dad, started taking gigs on the road. He’s been on tour with some big acts (Eagles, Neil Diamond and, of course, The Beach Boys). Becky, meanwhile, is enjoying working as a World Correspondent for ABC. Having spent most of her career hosting fluff like Wake Up, San Francisco and then later her own short-lived syndicated talk show Becky!, she’s finally doing the hard-hitting news reporting she’s always dreamed of. Yet, no matter where Jesse or Becky are in the world, they always make time for a daily Skype session. Awww! A little bit ago, while in the bathroom of a Hilton in Dallas, Jesse found a gray hair. As you can imagine, he was not happy. At all.
The best thing to ever happen to Joey Gladstone was Twitter. In 140 characters or less, Joey’s pretty funny. Twitter has opened the door to a lot of great opportunities for him: comedy specials, guest star roles on TV, sold-out, stand-up shows around the country. Another great thing to happen to Joey was Liz. The two met at Becky’s 40th birthday party a few years ago. A friend of Becky’s from Spinning, Liz was a divorced exec at Google who had a five-year-old daughter named Sophie. Liz and Joey were instantly smitten with one another. But before they could get serious, Joey had to win over her kid. So what did he do? His “cut it out” bit, duh. Sophie absolutely loved it and subsequently taught it to all her kindergarten classmates. Joey and Liz were married in a small ceremony in Danny’s backyard (Jesse became ordained and officiated). Now that Sophie’s older, Joey’s impersonations and gags can get real annoying and embarrassing, but overall, she couldn’t be happier to have such a great step-dad.
DJ Tanner is obviously no longer DJ Tanner. She’s now DJ Reynolds after marrying Greg Reynolds, the guy she met her very first day at UC Berkeley. See, good thing she didn’t get into Stanford. After graduation, DJ and Greg moved to a small apartment in Nob Hill. She took a job in advertising while Greg enrolled in med school. They had a big wedding in Napa. Not only did DJ have three maids of honor (Stephanie, Michelle and Kimmy) but she also had three guys give her away (Danny, Jesse and Joey). Once DJ got pregnant, she quit working and is now a full time mommy to Pam, Claire and Ian. DJ’s the PTA president, a Honey Bee leader and a soccer coach. Being a mom was the job she was born to have. But if you think DJ loves being a mother, you can’t even imagine how much Danny loves being a grandfather. Again, aww.
About three years ago, DJ and her high school boyfriend Steve reconnected on Facebook. He’s happily married with two kids in San Diego. DJ and Steve occasionally “Comment” on and “Like” each other’s photos.
Oh, Stephanie Tanner. Unlike DJ, life hasn’t been so smooth. After constantly changing majors and colleges, Stephanie finally graduated from the University of Washington with a degree in English in 2007. Since then, she’s moved around a lot (Seattle, Portland, Denver) and has taken a bunch of different jobs (nannying, sales rep, 911 dispatcher). But no matter where Stephanie goes, Mr. Bear, her childhood teddy bear, comes with. Right now, she’s living in Los Angeles. When it comes to guys, Stephanie hasn’t had the greatest luck. Over the years, she’s dated a bunch of duds. Guys who stole from her, guys with girlfriends, guys who just treated her bad. DJ constantly calls her sister with advice about how she needs to quit it with all these losers. Perhaps Stephanie needs to learn to love herself before she can expect a good guy to love her. Ugh, how rude! For now, Stephanie’s actually happy being single. Because little does her family know that while she’s waitressing to pay her bills, she’s also secretly working on her memoir: Crowded House: The Crazy But True Tale of Stephanie Judith Tanner. And man, does she have a lot of stories.
Having spent her entire life in a house full of people, by the time Michelle Tanner graduated high school she was ready to get out. And to somewhere far away. So she went to Boston University. Unfortunately for Michelle, she was in for a rude awakening when she got to college: she learned the world didn’t revolve around her. There were a couple tearful calls home about wanting to come back to San Francisco. But as Danny pointed out, “We’re Tanners. We stick things out!” Michelle stayed and ended up having a great college experience. She partied a lot, dated a ton of guys and even studied abroad in Florence. After graduation, Michelle moved to Murray Hill in New York City. On one of her first nights out in the city, she was introduced to Ryan, a friend of a friend’s roommate. He instantly fell head over heels for her and the two have been together ever since. The thing Michelle loves most about Ryan is his love for her. One could say he’s totally whipped. Whenever Michelle tells Ryan to do something for her, his response is, “You got it, dude.” This past February, the couple got a place together in Park Slope. Michelle writes for a prominent pop culture blog. She also has a personal blog about being in her 20’s in NYC. It gets a lot of traffic. Whenever Michelle’s had a long day at work, her beloved and way too nice boyfriend will come home with her favorite: “ouce cream.” While she’s somewhat thankful for the treat, she could seriously kill Joey for telling Ryan that she used to pronounce it that way at last year’s Thanksgiving.
And last but certainly not least: Kimmy Gibbler. Surprisingly, she’s super successful. She owns not one, but two yoga studios in LA. Kimmy lives by the beach in Venice with her dog. She dates a bunch but isn’t looking to settle down. Kimmy loves her life as-is, since it’s one in which she can pretty much do whatever she wants. There’s no one around to belittle her eccentricities or tell her she’s being a pest. Since Kimmy and Stephanie live in the same city, they sometimes get together. The two have begun to appreciate one another. After all, they’re both kind of oddballs. Whenever they hang out they usually talk a lot of smack about DJ. Sure, DJ seems to have it all – but compared to their lives, hers is kind of boring and like, come on, did she really have to post all those stupid videos of her kids at their horseback riding lessons on Facebook?
Image courtesy of FanPop