Tales of a Semi-Professional LesbianFrom Straight Girl to Bisexual: How I Fell for My Best Friend and Her BoobsNicol Paone
← Prev page 1 2 

I guess I feel the need to share all this because I feel like making endless love to both sexes successfully makes me a bad ass.  Maybe that makes me a dork.  Maybe the only place I want to be right now is at the top of a mountain wearing nothing but underwear and a leather jacket screaming, “I’m a bisexual lesbian, baby.  AIN’T ANY THANG.”

I do feel like I should have figured this out at some point during my adolescence, though: I wanted to be Joe Elliot, the lead singer for Def Leppard, for God’s sake.  Why didn’t that clue me in?  (To be fair, I also wanted to be Bo Derek, Wembley from Fraggle Rock and Madonna – so I get the confusion.)  It just didn’t occur to me, not during my four years of college on a softball scholarship, not during my time in Europe playing semi-professional soccer for Manchester United, not even when I marveled at my impressive tube sock collection did it occur to me.  Maybe it just shouldn’t matter when, maybe it’s just about the who and the what.  Right now I feel like I’m finally me and if it takes dating both sexes for years to figure it out then so be it.  The B word isn’t such a bad thing.

I’m proud to be bisexual.  We’re a misunderstood breed.   When I came out to my gay friends, I thought I was going to get some kind of a welcome gliteratti leather and lace parade with a ball later that night that included a step and repeat.  Nope.  All I got was, “You’re a slut, you’re confused, you’re in a phase, we don’t want you.”  Well, fine.  Be that way.  My tube sock collection might suggest otherwise, but I’m pretty secure in the fact that it’s all about the person to me.  Why else would I date a Star Wars nerd?

And maybe it is a phase, but I don’t think so.  I think we have more important things to think and care about other than who our fellow friends, relatives and/or students love.   That feels a little preachy, but too bad.  I don’t think that there’s anything that should hold you back from what your heart is telling you except bad breath.  Get a mint, girl, and let’s talk.

Image via yahoo

← Prev page 1 2 
comments

Please help us maintain positive conversations by refraining from posting spam, advertisements, and links to other websites or blogs. we reserve the right to remove your comment if it does not adhere to these guidelines. thanks! post a comment.

  1. I loved this–I know I’m late to the party, but it’s nice to learn there’s someone else on the save wavelength–boobs and all!

    • haha! yes there is and I think it’s important that we all share how we are feeling. It’s the only way to make things okay, front and center. Although that’s not my favorite position. :) I will be answering some questions in the next post so if you have any, have at it!

      Nicol Paone | 8/07/2012 03:08 pm
  2. good!

  3. Sexuality is something far greater than we as human beings will ever understand. She identifies as a bisexual lesbian. I don’t see a problem with that. I like women but could never date one. What does that make me? I would probably never have sex with one but yet I still look at women. What does that make me? You see? Sexuality is complex. Just be yourself.

  4. Although I’ve only ever been sexually attracted to men, I like to think that if I met the right girl, I’d fall in love with her and super enjoy fun times with her boobies. I will give you the party you deserve for being willing to follow your heart, even if it lead you to places you didn’t expect. Like to Cleavage Town.

    • Thank you Becky! May Cleavage Town be the name of the next town I live in!

      Nicol Paone | 7/31/2012 01:07 pm
  5. Well done. I have no issue with the term “bisexual lesbian,” and I’m deeply annoyed by the pedantic, black & white thinking seen in some of the posts above. As a “bisexual gay man” who has enjoyed sex with both men and women (who can NOT count my conquests on my digits, sadly) I DID have a choice. And that choice was made for me when I fell in love with the most wonderful human being on the planet, who happened to be male. I identify only as “gay” now, because after 19 years it would sound ridiculous to claim otherwise, and even offensive to my amazing husband (who has been incredibly supportive in every way imaginable, not to mention extremely tolerant of my mostly heterosexual porn collection.) Pandering to the conservative retards in this country by forcing gays, lesbians and bisexuals to tow some party line regarding Nature vs. Nurture is ridiculous AND offensive. Those who hate us will continue hating us and working to oppress us regardless of how much scientific evidence of genetic origin for sexuality is provided to them. These are the same dumb fucks who believe man rode dinosaurs, and they will ignore any truth, whatever that happens to be. Global warming, anyone? Thanks, Nicol. Very fun piece…looking forward to more.

  6. Regarding the “bisexual lesbian” label: it’s completely possible that the author means “homoromantic bisexual” in that she only wants relationships with women, is only romantically attracted to women, and wants to spend the rest of her life with a woman, but is perfectly happy to have sex (but not a relationship) with a man if she finds him sexually attractive. It’s also possible that she refers to herself as a bisexual lesbian because she is bisexual but is CURRENTLY in a relationship with a woman, although in that case I think the label isn’t accurate. In that case, she would simply be bisexual.

  7. I’m excited for more posts on this colum! I’m a straight woman and have been married to my husband for almost a year. No one has ever felt the need to label me, and I feel like the same respect should be bestowed to everyone else from any walk of life. Also, I like boobs. My husband likes boobs. I mean, whats with the stance against boobs…

  8. People get to define their own lives and experiences. Back off.

  9. I myself am a bisexual currently in a relationship with my best friend (boobs, right?) and although I do see why some of the commenters feel the need to proclaim that sexuality can never be chosen, that´s not my experience. Most of us are “born this way”, but there are quite a few who chose to become bisexual, because they feel more emotionally attatched to their own sex and therefore CHOSE to live in that relationship. Some have sex, some don´t. Please, let everyone be the way that they are born and/or the way that they chose! Don´t force labels onto one another! (Sorry if I´m too serious here, but, with this said-boobs!)

  10. Oh and Nic, you are fabulous. Keep doing what are doing.

  11. I am a Star Wars nerd AND I love boobs too!

  12. I love this article. It’s refreshing to see a humorous, light-hearted narrative of a person’s sexual development. I too recently embraced my bisexuality; I’m feeling an internet kinship with you! Your writing may not be politically correct, but it’s fun, and not too dry like the academic article some people leaving negative comments must have been expecting.

  13. Thank you to so many of you for your positive thought provoking comments. I’m excited to talk about this because there is a lot of work to do in the world to get to a place where sexual orientation isn’t an issue for anyone. As far as the negative comments, I’ll say this first: wow ladies, have a drink! Then I will say thank you. Those comments are what help me to grow, although I don’t think that was your intention. BOOBS.

    Nicol Paone | 7/30/2012 05:07 pm
  14. I am sometimes in awe of my bi-sexual friends. They get to be simply sexual. I am as limited in my options as my gay friends are…but the bi-sexuals get to enjoy life and love from every perspective and savor it all from BOTH sides. (pun definitely intended)

  15. I think the problem is that people continue to think they have to label themselves as straight or gay or bisexual etc. We need to grow up and realize that it shouldn’t matter. Why put a label on it. I’ve known a couple girls who were in relationships with guys all their lives, never been with a girl or been attracted to a girl, and then one day they met someone who just happened to be a girl and they fell in love. What I’m trying to say is that we need to stop labelling it as whatever and just love who we feel like loving, that’s the right thing to do. If you find the right person, you find the right person, simple as that.

  16. “In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation.” — Simone de Beauvoir

  17. Sheesh a lot of people got their panties in a bunch about this. Boobs ARE amazing!! Bickering about labels is barbaric. Sexuality is complex and this is OBVIOUSLY a hilarious exaggeration of an honest experience. Boob boobs boobie boobs.

  18. Boobs are great. As are Star Wars nerds. Love is love, girl – you tell ‘em!

  19. I am really glad hellogiggles is tackling this issue and starting such an important conversation. I’m 30 and in a devoted relationship with a guy and am just coming to terms with liking girls, too. I have never said this to anyone before. A gay guy friend once told me there’s no such thing as being bisexual–you are gay or not. I thought he was the “authority,” but now I see I just have to be who I am and not worry so much what others might think. Thanks for providing the framework for us to discuss this here.

  20. It seems to me that people make it their job to be offended by things. If you identify as a bisexual lesbian, then that is what you identify as. What does it matter if others do not agree with the term … it is your sexuality, not theirs.

    Also, boobs.