Free Love: Monogamy is Bad For Your Soul! Alice Grist

Why love one person when you could love a whole bunch of them? Already you are thinking that I’m a swinging pervert, yes? And, my lovelies, that is what is wrong with our society… I’m not talking about sex, people – I’m talking about love.

We are so quick to reserve our love for one special soul, and one special set of circumstances. We dose love out in chunks that are easily digested, but that protect us from running out of this precious commodity. We love when it’s convenient, for example… We love our family (’cause we have to). We love our friends (’cause we choose them). We love our partner (’cause they’re hot). We love our kids (biological imperative). We love our pets (cute). We love chocolate (no explanation required). And that’s about it. Our love, we believe, is finite and these lucky, lucky recipients get it all.

But love is not finite. Not even. It is in fact, infinite. Spiritually and soulfully speaking, love is pretty much what we are. Hoarding and hogging love is a mistaken way of living in this world, because our love is easily applicable to all things and all people.

Love is not oil; it is renewable and highly sustainable. It sits in your soul the way water sits in the ocean. So extraordinary is our love that we can even choose to love people we dislike. Love is not so picky as our rationalising brains would have us believe. Love is… forgiveness. Love is seeing to the heart and soul of everyone and finding their specks of inner gold dust and loving them even if that gold dust is encased in poisonous lead and three inch thick steel. It is knowing that we all come onto this planet innocent and that we are connected to each other in a zillion ways. It is knowing that love kills all bad things dead, and that we can only be free when we let love, and only love, reside within us.

This may be an alien concept to some of you. So I suggest you take it slow. Loving prolifically does not mean throwing yourself into cuddles with all and sundry. It certainly does not mean you must find yourself a dozen concubines! It simply means allowing your heart to feel a natural affinity with people, allowing a warmth into your actions and treating everyone with, well, with love. And you can do this without declaring any kind of affection, you just talk nice, act nice, smile a lot, connect, really connect, be super kind and don’t bitch.

Simple? Maybe, maybe not. But I challenge you to a one week love-a-thon. As it’s Valentine’s Day soon, why not try spreading your love a little thinner and see how love quadruples as you share it? Discover that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t water that love down. For a week, try holding a little extra juju in your heart as you go about your business, spread some extra smiles and giggles.

Know that this test of your heart is not just aimed at strangers. Oh no, you can offer a little love to your loved ones simply by removing conditions. Instead of loving someone based on what they do, or how they behave, just decide to love them no matter what. Because essentially you do love them, no matter what. Even if your loved ones turned around and hurt you badly, it doesn’t make them unlovable, it makes them flawed. You can still dump your cheating boyfriend’s butt but resolve to love his soul, whilst moving on and finding yourself someone altogether kinder. You may be surprised just how happy this love-share makes you.

So, what I’m saying is this. Love rocks, it does not have an expiry date and it is never wrong. Love is your choice, make it. You can love every soul you ever meet, and doing so will make you complete. I made a rhyme! See…. Riffing on love makes you all poetic and fluffy on the inside. Now… I dare you… Try it for yourself! Happy Valentine’s. Smooches. I Love You!

Featured image via ShutterStock

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  1. Yes!! I was talking about this with a friend the other day… Love keeps going, and it’s independent of people’s behavior… yes, this jerk is a jerk… and as a result you may not want to be around them anymore, but blocking the love you feel for them will only make you sadder… if someone’s a jerk, by all means kick them out of your life, but keep the love and the good times inside… those are yours, and they will make you happy forever.