Why are other women such bitches?

[ninjasauraskelle]

Hi,

I'll start off with the very basics, my names Kelly. I'm British but my teeth are pretty normal. I'm pretty goofy (in a normal toothed way)...I am always the first to admit this. I am a female nerd in polka dots, (once again first to admit this). I'm quirky and not every bodies cup of tea (see told you I was British )

Anyway I had a pretty douchey time in High School with female bullies, it got so bad in fact that I had to be dragged out of school...

Soooo a university degree later and 7 years on, I have a job in a pretty awesome office, it was me and like 7 guys at first which was AMAZING...then a new girl came and we were fine, not best friends but fine, then the office gets bigger and more women come in...once again fine. We all have a habit of ribbing one another for the fun of it, but one day I notice this girl isn't ribbing anymore "HEY YOU'RE BEING MEAN", so some tears and cupcakes later, I go to my bosses and say "this girls a bitch, and a bully" so they have a word with her, and low and behold the week after, she grabs me outside of work and demands to know why I told them...so I said "because you're MEAN, and I can't talk to you, you frickin' psychopath, cos you go all nuts and stuff". Anyway I am then told that nobody in the office likes me (BY HER OF COURSE, which makes me extremely upset), apparently I'm too quirky, too weird and too giddy and just down right annoying, she says everyone in the office hates me.....Now I walk into the office trying to weigh up who I can, and can't trust...basically I trust nobody there now...and I'm getting to the point where I have to....start being really mean to people (FYI don't know how to be mean, I googled it but it wasn't much help, my boyfriend tells me shouting * you isn't being mean, and he said I should just stick to googling kittens and leave the mean stuff to the pros)

SO my question is...to a bunch of ladies more similar to myself than the office wench...have any of you had this? and how did you deal with? <3

[jess]

The Bitch is probablly just mad cuase the boss called her in, I don't think anybody hates you, she proababbly just said it to get to you.The best thing you can do to be mean is to ignore her. There's nothing worse tahn indiference. Talk to your co-workers like you used to. Don't let her get to you

[emmybums]

Hey Kelly!

Your post definitely attracted my attention because this is so common today. I've dealt with it too. Someone is a bitch, you call them out on it, they retaliate by trying to hurt you in any way possible. Sounds like it worked a bit in your case. You're feeling a bit insecure now with your other coworkers because of her comments...but DON'T LET IT! You can't let the bitch win. You sound like a super awesome chick and most likely her comments are probably driven partly by jealousy of your flare. Not only did you call her out, but you're way cooler than her. Right? Stand tall, girl. Don't let one insignificant bitch shake your quirkiness, goofiness, or confidence. You're too awesome for that. You coworkers probably think the hag is just jealous too. Next time you feel a little shaky around your coworkers, just hold that chin up, look them in the eyes, and be you. Stay awesome, Kelly. Stay awesome.

[Ptree82]

I agree - she probably just said that to get under your skin. Don't let one person's comments take away the your enjoyment at work. Act towards everyone else as you always have and ignore her for the most part but remember you still have to be professional. If she needs to talk to you regarding work problem then kill her with kindness!

[sashare12]

kill them with kindness

[Thundramay]

My mom always told me the best revenge is to live a better life. Girls hate girls because they are jealous and want what they have. I'm sure not everybody in the office hates you, she was probably just saying that to get to you, and if you let it get to you, it's only going to give her some self satisfaction. Don't try to be mean, just be you. If you're not a mean person don't go out of your way to try to be mean, if you focus to much on what she says then people may or may not like you now, but if you keep being mean they definitely won't like you later.

[Purrsnickity]

Ugh...I have no idea. I deal with it too since I have a job that is inhabited MOSTLY by women. Its exhausting to try to wrap my head around it. I just try my best to be nice and not let the competitive, crappy attitudes get to me.

[Kristine]

Hi!

Uhm.. please don't judge me too hard, since I am brand new here and I don't know any of you, but let me tell you how it really sounds from my point of view. I am a living angel walking on this holy land and everyone keeps picking on me without a good reason. why, oh why? You know what? I am also rather, how to put it more correctly, weirdo (?) in between my very few female friends. I do look quiet classy clothing wise, slim, not tall not short - what you would call average Joe girl. Most of my girl friends are either massive hipsters or fashion slaves (and I do not judge them, I simply got zero patience when it comes to shopping), but then again I always try to compromise and fine a "golden path"...

Being born in former Soviet Union and being a baby girl of 6 children, I would not say that my childhood was the most shiniest - starting from school - if you come from a big family you definitely must be stinky, dirty, poor and "your favorite band is Dave Matthews Band" at 2nd grade didn't help either... at some point I just got tired of being outsider and decided to become at least visible. No, I did not betray my dignity, quiet opposite to be honest. I just opened more options for weekends and afternoons.

Alright, I already got a bit off the topic but what I am trying to say in super extended version is, that those and I quote "those bitches" are not always that bad - give both yourself and them a chance, you might be surprised how much common you have got. I also find myself much more comfortable in male society, since i looooove sports and could talk about it for hours non stop, but even I sometimes need my girly time with my ladies...

Rule number one to stop women acting insane towards you, would be super simple... and I always keep telling this to my male friends - DO NOT CALL A FEMALE A BITCH! That, my dear friend, will only add a fuel and if she as a matter of fact is pure monster, just ignore her. find your comfort zone and never belittle yourself to her level, but honestly first rule is stop calling fellow females bitches - ya ain't no gangsta pimp or something - kapish?

Cheers everyone!
Kristine

P.S. - apologies if my comment offended anyone.

[Alex001]

Unsurprisingly to me, the topic they're the most encouraging about is my comment on whores and all women being them.

[[larry]]

i TRY to address people's BEHAVIORS as much as possible and tell them how i FEEL about something they did rather than attack their character. namecalling is namecalling and "bitch" and "bully" are still labels and people on the receiving end of those will feel as if you've already made up your mind about them...almost one of those self-fulfilling prophecies. in a work environment you're going to have to have something more concrete before you go to a supervisor, otherwise you're going to make YOURSELF look like you're the one having trouble getting along with others.