The mental health thread -previously The Highs and the Lows

[cindypark26]

So I hung out with my friend yesterday and I'm so proud of her!! She's decided to take a few classes at a local community college before going back to out of state school next year. She also was deciding whether or not to go to a Skrillex concert in Milwaukee on NYE that me and all my friends are going to. And she told me that she thought it would be bad for her to be around so much partying and around people that were part of the reason she left school. I'm so proud of her!!

Bright - I told her about that book and she said she's gonna pick it up as soon as she can!

As for myself, my anxiety was pretty bad earleir in the week. But I think that mostly had to do with lack of sleep since I went to 2 concerts and University of Illinois for a min-vaca this past weekend. Now that it's the weekend, I'm going to try hard to relax and not be as crazy. I'm seeing Bon Iver tonight which should be chill, but I kind of worked myself into a hole for Saturday.

Saturday I promised to visit this guy at Marquette (where I graduated from, he's there getting his masters) and he has liked me forever (we became friend sophomore year of college). We've tried to be together before and I know that I do have feelings for him. But I've never really been treated as well as he treats me in a relationship and this is the first situation where I'm aware of how much a guy likes me going into dating me. Sometimes when I'm with him, my anxiety goes into overload. I feel like I just need to sprint away from the situation. Its too much. Then I do exactly that, he ends up sad, but then we start talking again. Cycle continues, I literally always do this to him.

Do you guys have any advice on how to deal with this? And before you say it, I've been told so many times to just stop talking to him, stop leading him on. But like I said, I actually like this guy so it's not as easy as that. Have you guys ever had your issues affect your romantic relationships? What did you do to fix it?

[brightasyellow]

Cindy - so glad that you're friend is making positive choices!

As to the relationship thing, I'm of no use. When relationships start getting more intense for me, I generally cut and run because I'm petrified of telling guys about my bipolar disorder. It sounds like you like this guy, right? Does your anxiety go into overload because you're scared of your feelings for him or that the relationship might actually work? Or is the anxiety from the fact that you just don't like him "that way?"

Elizabeth - I hear you about not regretting your decisions because you needed to learn from them, but I'm quite a bit older than you, so I feel like I didn't have time to make these bad decisions and I have a lot of regret. I'm working on being okay with what happened and looking towards the future while living in the present, but it's really hard.

[cindypark26]

Bright - I think it goes into overload because I'm scared of my feelings and that the relationship might work. We're sooooo different concerning our social habits (I'm more outgoing, he's more introverted) but we have so much in common. I'm so nervous to introduce him to my friends, which makes it hard for me to see him while I'm at Marquette and see them. That's why I'm going this weekend and trying to just exclusively see him for once.

Elizabeth - I think the best way to get over regret is to find the things you learned from what happened. Everything happens for a reason, at least I think so. So even if something happened that you wish hadn't, it's helpful to really search for that bit of good and focus on that. That way, like Bright said, it's easier to look towards the future while living in the present.

[elizabethlsiegel]

Elizabeth - I hear you about not regretting your decisions because you needed to learn from them, but I'm quite a bit older than you, so I feel like I didn't have time to make these bad decisions and I have a lot of regret. I'm working on being okay with what happened and looking towards the future while living in the present, but it's really hard.

I know exactly what you mean. Another reason why I don't look at the past is because it's incredibly painful for me. I destroyed everything I had and now I'm just trying to build it all back up again. The future makes me anxious. I'm scared of planning too far ahead. The present is really all I have! It was really hard for me to get to a point of self-acceptance and I'm still teetering there most of the time. I go back and forth between blaming myself for everything and being proud of myself for overcoming everything. Every single day I reward myself just for getting through it.

Cindy, I can't help you. I scare boys. Like they think I'm crazy.

[brightasyellow]

Elizabeth - My therapist says that one of the biggest things she wants me to work on is self-acceptance. I try, but it's really, really hard. It also doesn't help that I miss Los Angeles and my friends every single day.

[brightasyellow]

Very interesting article on xojane.com - the comments section is also great.

http://www.xojane.com/healthy/managing- ... t-exercise

[cindypark26]

That was a great article!! I know I need to start working out more and this article really makes me want to in order to help my anxiety. But I dont have a gym membership and it's cold outside...any suggestions?

[brightasyellow]

Do you have enough room to use dvds? There are some good ones out there...

I disagreed with a lot of what the article said. I think it's rather irresponsible to advocate a no-meds philosophy. I know she has a disclaimer telling people to not go off their meds, but a LOT of people with bipolar disorder are likely to go off their meds when they shouldn't. She also says that she still has manic and depressive episodes and the nature of bipolar disorder is that the more episodes you have, the more likely you are to have them (the kindling effect). That said, her recommendations to exercise and take vitamins are good.

[cindypark26]

Yea I totally didn't agree with the not taking medicine part. I think what she is doing in addition to medication would have good results. I just went back to read all the comments section and it's really funny to read everyone who is basically bitching her out for saying that.

[brightasyellow]

Yeah, I politely bitched her out;)