The mental health thread -previously The Highs and the Lows

[brightasyellow]

Volunteering at the library can be fun, but it's mostly shelving children's picture books and there are a lot of those and the shelves are always a mess and they're low to the ground so my back ends up hurting. I did get to check in new books one day and that was pretty cool...

I'm doing a bit better today/tonight. I feel better physically and went back to my old distraction of watching a lot of tv. Then I went to the gym and worked out on the StairMaster for 15 minutes and took an hour Pilates class. I'm also adding a small dose of a different antidepressant to medication * with the hopes of weaning off the one I'm on (which doesn't seem to work well and makes me gain weight).

[elizabethlsiegel]

That's great news! You're making really good progress since the other day!

I don't know how long this has actually been happening, but I just noticed how predictably unstable my mood has been this week. I can forecast my mood by the hour. So that's weird. I suppose it has something to do with my triggers and stressors. For at least an hour every day when I get out of class, I have a really angry spell where I just completely freak out about anything. Today it was printing out study materials for finals. I don't do anything, I'm just really angry. Anyone have some insight?

How are all of you? Updates?

[cindypark26]

I'm really happy I finally looked at this board. I've been diagnosed with GAD and have been taking Lexapro for almost a year now. Things have been going really well, but I still battle with aniexty attacks every now and then (thank goodness for Xanax!).

What I'm really interested in is asking some questions about bi-polar disorder. My best friend was misdiagnosed with GAD and depression, put on SSRIs that were too high of a dose, and now she's properly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and being properly medicated. She's struggling a lot with the stigma of being bipolar (she's really ashamed of it), nervous about taking the medicine, and wanting to go back to school too quickly (she medically withdrew last semester due to theses issues).

Do you guys have any advice on how I can help her out?

[elizabethlsiegel]

Encourage your friend to take the medicine as prescribed by her doctor. The stigma is very difficult to deal with. The status of my mental health is on a need-to-know basis and I only feel comfortable talking about it with people who "get it." I took a semester off from school in 2010 and all anyone needs to know is that I got sick. Since then, I've been trying to build my life back up slowly. Your friend might want to start with part-time classes and work her way back up to a full load. I don't have bipolar, but I have just about everything else in the book. Take it slowly and stick with trustworthy people.

[cindypark26]

It was hard to convince her to take the medicine, since the SSRI she was on messed her up so much. But I'm pretty sure she knows that she needs to listen to her new doctor and that this medicine will help. I'm going to give her your advice on school because she has been pushing to leave home and go back to an out of state college pretty quickly. I just know if she goes back to soon, she's not going to be in a healthy, stable environment.

Thanks for your advice : )

[brightasyellow]

Elizabeth - Thanks for the pep talk! I'm doing even better today. I had a therapy session which is always good but tiring. I'm trying to find a good exercise dvd to do on the days that going to the gym doesn't make sense. As for your mood swings, I can't really help. Could the anger be because you're just done with classes? Anger as an emotion confuses me because it wasn't an acceptable way of reacting when I was younger.

Cindy - As someone with bipolar disorder, I have been where your friend has been. I was initially hesitant to take meds, but they make things so much better. There also may be a trial and error period at the beginning, which is frustrating, but a mood stabilizer is necessary when treating bipolar. I was diagnosed 10 years ago and, at first, I was so, so ashamed. It took me five minutes to work up to telling a good friend of mine and after all the build up, she responded with "that's it?!" I'm working really hard at fighting the stigma. If she doesn't feel comfortable telling anyone, she doesn't have to. It's her health and that's personal. A good thing to remember is that it's not a failing on her part. If she had diabetes, would she feel ashamed? Bipolar disorder is biologically based and geneticists are coming close to identifying genes that play a part in it. My father and first cousin also have bipolar disorder. I'm fairly comfortable with my diagnosis now and my friends have said that my telling them about it has educated them and made them understand it better. NAMI is a fantastic organization and their website has a lot of good things to read. I also recently read a book called "Welcome to the Jungle" that is aimed at 20-somethings recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and it covers a lot of fears that people have. But taking meds is absolutely necessary and so many people stop taking them and then crap happens. Also, rushing back into something after an episode is NOT a good idea. I did this two years ago and then things got worse and I had to move cross-country to live with my mom. If I'd taken longer to recover, I'd still be living my life in LA. It can take 6-12 months to recover from an episode. My therapist constantly reminds me that it's about little steps. If you want to, you can message me for more info. Hope that helps!

[cindypark26]

Thanks so much for the advice! I'm going to recommend that book to her, I think it would really help her. I may be messaging you if I need some more advice on how to help her; me and my family are pretty much the best support she has going for her right now.

Elizabeth - Whenever I'm super angry, I literally dance. I know this sounds dumb because people don't like to dance in public. But like if I was in the library while I was at school and something bad would trigger my anxiety and make me angry, I would seriously find a private place to dance while listening to my iPod. The music distracts you from what you're thinking about and the dancing gets that pent up engergy feeling out of you. My friends have caught be dancing in bathroom stalls before. But it's ok, because I pretty much have no shame. Try it next time, it might work.

[elizabethlsiegel]

It was hard to convince her to take the medicine, since the SSRI she was on messed her up so much. But I'm pretty sure she knows that she needs to listen to her new doctor and that this medicine will help. I'm going to give her your advice on school because she has been pushing to leave home and go back to an out of state college pretty quickly. I just know if she goes back to soon, she's not going to be in a healthy, stable environment.

Thanks for your advice : )

Well here's what I did...

In my second semester away at school in Illinois, I took myself off my meds for reasons I don't even remember and I stopped going to class and it all became too much and I overdosed. I spent that spring break in the psych ward back at home. After spring break, I went back to finish out the semester and try to pull things together the best I could, but academically, that semester was a waste. I came home for the summer and spent the entire time convincing myself and everyone else that I was okay to go back to school for the fall. So I went, but I had a really hard time with my classes. When I came home for winter break, I told my parents that I didn't think I should go back. They gave me the option of finishing out the year, which I really wanted to do because college was the only time in my life that I've ever actually had friends, but I just felt so guilty about wasting so much money. I took the next semester off, moved back into my parents' house, got a job, and started going to an intensive outpatient therapy program which met five days a week for three hours a day. They got me on the right meds, got me a great doctor and a great therapist, and really changed my life. I worked a lot that summer and I decided that I'd take a year and go to community college part time and work part time and then see what I wanted to do. So I did that and did really, really well academically and got a great promotion at my job. This semester, I transferred again to a school that's half an hour from my house, but I'm living by myself in on-campus housing because I don't have a car so I can't commute. I'm in classes full time and it's been difficult but I'm getting the right kind of results.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't want anyone to ever have to go through what I felt when I went back to school out of state before I was ready to. I'm doing well now, I dug myself out, but it was hard work and really expensive.

And thanks for the advice about the anger! It didn't happen today, which I'm pretty excited about!

[brightasyellow]

What I'm trying to say is that I don't want anyone to ever have to go through what I felt when I went back to school out of state before I was ready to. I'm doing well now, I dug myself out, but it was hard work and really expensive.

Exactly. I made a mistake last year when I didn't give myself more time to heal and now I'm in a deeper hole. I'll make it through, but if I'd just spent a little more time tending to myself, it would've been better.

[elizabethlsiegel]

Right. I'm not saying that I'd do anything differently if I could, though. I think that I needed to realize how messed up I was in order to realize that I needed to get better.