Friendzoned.

[erfster]

So this is complicated. I've had a major crush on my best guy friend from college since pretty much freshman year. I'm pretty sure he knew/knows because we kind of talked about it once, but I never came out and said, "I like you" and he's a dude so who knows. Anyway, he has a girlfriend now who also goes to the college we went to, we both just graduated and she is a senior. When we graduated I was hoping I would just have time to let it go since I wouldn't see him every day. But then we both got jobs just about a little over an hour apart from each other. And he hired me to work with him part time so I see him 2-4 times a week now. And on top of that we talk pretty much every day, through Skype or texting.

I guess my problem is that I know he has a girlfriend and is not at all interested in me that way but I cannot get over it. How do you get over someone when it feels like the universe is pushing you together?

[-ebejeh-]

Girl, I feel you. I had the same problem for the 4 years I was in college with my best guy friend. He never had a girlfriend when I liked him, but he also made it clear that I was un-dateable...so I get it. After college, I ended up moving to the same city as him so we still see each other on weekends, but I've been focusing on my new job and I've also met a new guy that makes me feel good, like a crush should. That helped me realize that I was wasting my time feeling bad about something that wasn't going to happen.

The best advice I can give you is to try to meet more people when you have free time. Try to minimize the amount of time you spend/chat with him. You'll see each other at work, so maybe after work you can do something by yourself or with other friends, to try to meet a new guy or get involved in something that will help take your mind off him. I think the key is finding something that makes you feel good and can help you let go of those bad feelings. I hope this helps, good luck!

[pearlchavez]

I've been in the friend zone for 5yrs. After meeting this guy when I was 16 there was a brief period when we were almost seeing each other, but I freaked out, he got a girlfriend and we've never recovered from it. Over the yrs there have been times when the friendship has crossed the line - most recently when I accidentally initiated a booty call and we hooked up (I asked him if he wanted to come over and watch a TV show...said TV show wasn't even on that night when I thought it would be and I invited him over at about midnight. Swear down, I didn't realise what he might have been thinking).

Anyway, he always seems to initiate something and then step back. It's absolutely infuriating and as much as I try to push him out, he ALWAYS finds his way back in.

[Bexsta]

Im so glad there are other ppl out there feeling the same.
Ive been in the friendzone for seven years. When we met he started sleeping with my best friend at the time. I immediatly had feelings for him, i dont even know if he noticed me at all with my friend using all her best tricks to get him. She always did that when i liked someone, or if i dared to have a relationship. She was always successful. Kinda why were not friends anymore. When she was out of the picture he and i still talked. But not anymore, were fb friends, but thats it.
I just wish i could forget him.

[SierraMist08]

I felt the same way about my best guy friend freshman year of high school. I never actually told him, like you, but I'm pretty sure he figured out and we sort of stopped talking. I was homeschooled the year after, and have only seen him once for a couple of minutes since. I'm over him, but I still feel that I never had closure. My best advice would be figure out what is most important to you-- can you handle only ever being his friend, and never telling him outright how you feel? Is that a better alternative to telling him and losing him in you life, as a worst-case scenario?