College Blues? It's Okay.

[elizabethlsiegel]

http://hellogiggles.com/college-blues-its-okay
As some of you have learned, I have not taken the most traditional route to college. I'm on my third major at my third school. I'm 21 and I don't know what year I'm in at school. Things have come up and changes have had to be made. So when I saw this article, I felt very strongly that I had to at least try to show it to everyone I know. There's such a stigma against what is ultimately you doing what you need to do be happy and succeed. So I posted the article on Facebook for all of my peers to see with the following message:

"I'm going to say something that a lot of people don't want to hear: College does not have to be the best four years of your life, no matter how many times everyone tells you it will be. College doesn't have to be four years. More and more, people are having a harder time graduating in four years. You can't plan for everything. Maybe you'll change your major, even if you've dreamt of being something for as long as you can remember. Maybe you'll realize that you're not at the right university for you and you decide to transfer. That's going to mean more required classes and more semesters. That's okay. Do what you have to do. Maybe you'll get sick and have to take some time off. That's okay. Take care of yourself and everything else will come together on its own when you're feeling better. Maybe you're taking classes part-time because you have to work to support yourself. It's okay. Maybe you'll do something really cool, like start a band or join the Peace Corps or just take some time to travel. That's okay. School will still be there when you get back. Maybe you just don't want to go to college right now. That's not a problem. You have your entire life to decide what you want to do.
If you've graduated from high school and gone off on your own and have not been entirely happy, or The Plan has gone awry, you're not the only one. We all have different skills and traits and character flaws or blessings and the point is that not everyone will go about their lives in the same way. On the other hand, college very well might be the best four years of your life. If you can get through it in four years and have the time of your life and really achieve, that's really cool. Congratulations to you. But if that just isn't happening, you'll be okay. You will hopefully have many more years of your life that could be the greatest. You don't know what the future holds and you don't have to answer to anyone who tries to put you on a specific four year plan. Never feel ashamed for doing what you think is best for you.
I recommend the attached article to anyone who is worrying about the future. It's okay to worry; I do it all the time. Just know how to bring yourself back to Earth. Thanks for reading this and I hope that you have a great day."

[savgirl04]

I'm with you, I have not taken the traditional route at all. I'm only on my second major at my second school but....I'm also 25 and have been working at this since right after high school. I've dropped out twice already (well I guess it can't really be considered dropping out if you go back later....they were more like very extended breaks) but I'm finally ready to finish now. I just added up all the classes I have left the other day and if things go according to plan I will graduate in the summer of 2014! Yay 10 year plan!! I never would have imagined college would be so tough to finish, but it has been for me. I've been working full time since I was 19, and only taking 2 or 3 classes a semester makes it drag on forever.

You're so right too about the stigma. The first time I dropped out everyone around me freaked out. They told me I would never go back or finish if I didn't go straight through in 4 years. But I knew that wasn't true, and I do love knowing I've proved them all wrong now. Plus, out of everyone I know that did take the traditional route, only one has a full time job in the area she got her degree in. The rest couldn't find jobs at all or had to take one completely unrelated to their field. So whether or not you do things according to how society thinks you should, life still has a way of sneaking up on you and derailing your plans. But that's okay, because when I look back now at the past 7.5 years, I really wouldn't change the path my life has taken. I've learned invaluable lessons from working in the "real world", and I know employers will love how much work experience I have on my resume once I do get that degree. Things have a way of working out for the best, so even if something else comes up and I don't graduate in 2014, I know I'll still be okay and something else great will be waiting for me.

Good luck to you and thanks for sharing that positive message!

[HuckFinn1]

Thank you for posting that article, I had missed it!

I really wish I has read something like this when I was in college; I can completely relate. I was miserable for the majority of my college experience. What made it worse was feeling like I was supposed to be having the best time of my life. Most of my high school friends had gone to different colleges than me and were loving it. It made me feel very lonely. I went home almost every weekend. I cried every year when I had to move back up to school in the fall. Maybe pathetic, but true. It's great it people have a wonderful college experience, but I'm glad someone pointed out that it's also ok if you don't!

And while I did finish my time at college in "normal" time, I don't understand the stigma against taking longer. That path is not for everyone. And sometimes life happens and it's just not possible.

[elizabethlsiegel]

I used to not be so miserable. I have a hard time balancing the fun and the notfun parts of college.

[Ptree82]

I took five years to graduate because I took some time off and I went part time at one point. I graduated in 2005 and let me tell you, college is not the best four years of your life! What a horrible thing to think anyway. Who wants to peak that young?? My late 20s were wayyy better than my early 20s and I'm so excited to see what my 30's will be like.

Also my cousin got pregnant at 20 and when she dropped out of school no one thought she would go back. She is now 28 (Also in Cleveland Elizabeth) and she went back last semester for special education. I would LOVE to start college all over knowing everything I know now as an adult! When I was 18 I thought I knew exactly where my life was going and now 11 years later it's completely different than what I thought. The point I'm getting at is, you can't plan life. You just can't! So the idea that 18 year olds are supposed to plan their lives and stick with that plan is just laughable. For people who do graduate in 4 years, well done! However for the rest of us, the scenic route is always better.

[throughmyshadow]

I really wish that I had read something like this before I started uni. I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to go to uni, and thought that a gap year (or two) would have been beneficial, but I didn't have a clue of what to do in the mean time. I guess thinking about it now, I could have worked for 6 months and then travelled or volunteered for 6, but I was so confused and really had no clue, so I went off to uni. It's certainly not been the worst experience of my life, but I don't think it's been the best experience of my life either (at least I hope it hasn't, because that would be a bit of a let down). There is nothing wrong with waiting to go off to uni, because I think it is a huge step and you have to be ready for it, otherwise you could end up hating it. I really wish I had waited, but I think for me it's too late. I am scared that if I drop out now, I won't return.

I think a part of it for me is the fact that I don't have any idea of what I want to do once I graduate. People ask me, and I genuinely have no answer for them. I don't know whether I want to do a masters, or travel, or go straight into work (which throws up a whole other line of questioning). I guess for me, I still feel so young, and so the idea of having to plan the rest of my life freaks me out. When people start talking about it and they seem to have everything figured out, it's almost as though there's something wrong with not knowing. I just find it really scary, because it's almost as though once you leave the relative safety of university, you're in the big bad world and your life is supposed to have started or something.

I just want to say I admire those that did leave college and have gone back to it, I think you've got guts! There is definitely a stigma attached and I think people (including myself) need to see past that. You might not have taken the traditional route, but you're going about it your own way and in the long run, I think you'll appreciate it more and be happier with your decision.