Oh, I'm so familiar with your situation Bright. Well, not necessarily being unable to attend my friend's wedding, but feeling abandoned by friends. I also tend just to invest in just a few people, and I'm a friend all the way. I've had a few situations where I've felt like I don't receive the same commitment back or just felt left behind and it always hurts. I sometimes think it's because I tend to become friends with people who are more outgoing and social than I am, so while I can count my friends on one hand, my friends can't necessarily do the same thing. I've been in the same position, where I feel like I'm doing all the reaching out. It makes me feel very lonely.
I've had two friends where I've had this happen. With one friend, I was constantly doing the calling/texting/planning. I did this for a long time, even though it made me feel like s--t, because I really valued our friendship. But I eventually realized that I just didn't want to do it anymore, and I pretty much stopped cold turkey. I just let it go, because I'd rather be friendless then be treated that way by someone I considered my friend. We're actually still friendly with each other, and I still like her, but I don't put the effort in that I did before. I haven't been able to let go of my other friend, though. The added wrench in that friendship is that she lives in Europe, so our communication is almost exclusively via computer. I don't have a phone that makes international calls, and I probably couldn't afford them even if it did. We haven't actually seen each other in two years. As with my other friend, I always have to initiate conversation, and sometimes I don't even get a response from her. I had never had a friend like her, and I haven't had one like her since. I felt like we were sort of soulmates, so I guess that's why I can't let it go. It's heartbreaking though.
I'm sorry that you have to miss your friend's wedding. It's probably making you hate where you're living even more right now. I hope after she settles into married life, she'll be able to give you the time you deserve.