The mental health thread -previously The Highs and the Lows

[brightasyellow]

Aw, thanks, Cindy! It made me feel pretty proud.

[elizabethlsiegel]

My day has been really good. I had a great therapy session. My therapist said to me "You know how you're feeling better and doing a lot of things? That's all you. All those baby steps you did got you here. Getting out of bed when you didn't want to, getting dressed when you didn't want to, going to the store when it freaked you out. All that got you here." And I almost cried because it made me realize that I didn't just "get better," I made myself better.

That is the best. It happens to me alllll the time.

In a few minutes I'm going to take my last final of the semester. I'm not as prepared for it as I should be/need to be but I'm too tired to really freak out. Over the past 48 hours I've slept for about 8. So I'm going to do my best, and then I'm going to take a nap, and then I'm going to get a burrito for lunch, and then I'm going to pack up to go back to my parents' house for winter break. Stay tuned, because things are going to get pretty crazy. Being at home with my sisters and my parents tends to make me feel worse.

I really appreciate you, ladies!!!!

[cindypark26]

I hope your final went well!! Nap and mexican food is always the perfect thing after killing yourself over school. Treat yo'self girl!

And I can totally understand it getting crazy when you're at home. I will be equally as crazy when my sister and her fiancee show up for Xmas...especially since as her maid of honor we're going to be doing LOTS of wedding stuff.

We'll get through it together!

[elizabethlsiegel]

Everything is going to be great! (Post-finals Elizabeth is CLEARLY on a high.)

[cindypark26]

Yay!! Literally as I read that...the sun began to shine through the window at my office. It was like nature telling me that everything is going to be great lol

[HuckFinn1]

Yay, congrats on being done with finals!!

[brightasyellow]

Yay, Elizabeth! We'll be here for you during the family time;)

I agree with Elizabeth, I'm so grateful for you guys!

[cindypark26]

Same here This is great support from awesome girls

[brightasyellow]

Hey! How is everyone doing?

Things have been okay here, but I've been in total hibernation mode for three days. I've been going to the gym every other day and I haven't been since Saturday, although I will go to Zumba tonight.

I'm a bit melancholy because I just found out that my BFF is engaged and getting married like the first week in January so I won't be able to go. She's a fundamentalist Christian and she doesn't believe in sex before marriage so I kind of think she and her boyfriend just can't wait any longer. They were originally planning on having a wedding next September and I was going to be maid of honor and stuff. I am really happy for her but really sad that I can't go and then I feel guilty for feeling sad for myself because it's HER WEDDING and stuff. She's been going out with the guy for 15 months and I rarely saw her when they were going out because she stopped having time for me which really hurt my feelings. I had that happen once before with a friend and it was so hard. I take my friendships very seriously and I get invested in them because I generally have a few very close friends. I'm trying to be zen about it, but it's hard. I also live 3,000 miles away from my BFF now and if I hadn't moved back to DC, I'd be able to go to her wedding. So, I'm sad. It's very hard to not have any friends. I did make the one new friend at the gym, but we haven't been able to connect outside of gym classes. I feel like, with my BFF, I'm the one always initiating conversations and such. I honestly think that if I didn't email her or text her or message her that she wouldn't really contact me. We were SO CLOSE. And then she started going out with this guy (he was her first boyfriend) and it was like I didn't exist.

Anyway, that's bumming me out, but I have a therapy appointment today and can hopefully work out those feelings. I feel stuck and need to move on.

[HuckFinn1]

Oh, I'm so familiar with your situation Bright. Well, not necessarily being unable to attend my friend's wedding, but feeling abandoned by friends. I also tend just to invest in just a few people, and I'm a friend all the way. I've had a few situations where I've felt like I don't receive the same commitment back or just felt left behind and it always hurts. I sometimes think it's because I tend to become friends with people who are more outgoing and social than I am, so while I can count my friends on one hand, my friends can't necessarily do the same thing. I've been in the same position, where I feel like I'm doing all the reaching out. It makes me feel very lonely.

I've had two friends where I've had this happen. With one friend, I was constantly doing the calling/texting/planning. I did this for a long time, even though it made me feel like s--t, because I really valued our friendship. But I eventually realized that I just didn't want to do it anymore, and I pretty much stopped cold turkey. I just let it go, because I'd rather be friendless then be treated that way by someone I considered my friend. We're actually still friendly with each other, and I still like her, but I don't put the effort in that I did before. I haven't been able to let go of my other friend, though. The added wrench in that friendship is that she lives in Europe, so our communication is almost exclusively via computer. I don't have a phone that makes international calls, and I probably couldn't afford them even if it did. We haven't actually seen each other in two years. As with my other friend, I always have to initiate conversation, and sometimes I don't even get a response from her. I had never had a friend like her, and I haven't had one like her since. I felt like we were sort of soulmates, so I guess that's why I can't let it go. It's heartbreaking though.

I'm sorry that you have to miss your friend's wedding. It's probably making you hate where you're living even more right now. I hope after she settles into married life, she'll be able to give you the time you deserve.