Life around the world

[LittlestThing]

This is a continuation of the conversation between Sarahgd and me in 'Portugal says Ola'. It went off topic. We were discussing lifestyles and general differences in lives of people in other countries. (the title might change) It's not all as negative as this post

LittlestThing wrote:
Just a thing I forgot to mention, it's a big problem in Slovenia - people drink too much alcohol, like second most in EU, and it's somehow socially accepted, it makes me sad, seems like every family has AT LEAST one alcoholic. An alcoholic here is someone who drinks bottles of alcoholic drinks every day. If I counted all people who drink more than 12 units per week, I wouldn't get very far :-/

oSOunds like most young people in Australia on the weekend. So many of them go out and get "smashed" (drunk) on Friday and Saturday nights. It's actually a bit "youth culture" here and I wish they would not do it so much because they are hurting themselves and putting themselves at risk. I mean I'm not against anyone going out and having a few drinks, but when you are drinking 5 beers and 5 shots of something else in one night every weekend that is not good for you. Personally, I very rarely drink. I hate the taste of beer and wine so if I do drink it's usually vodka and raspberry or baileys & milk, but to be honest I don't even remember the last time I had an alcoholic drink, and I don;t need it to have a good time - and that I am glad for.

Should we start a new thread for our chat? Where should we start it?

Young people here do the same. Drinking before the age of 18 is illegal but that law might as well not exist. The problem is that they will grow older, have children, spouses... Some of them will pass that stage is their life, but drinking excessively biweekly is a form of alcoholism to me. I might change my opinion someday - I have never been drunk (it's illegal, I'm a little paranoid and I don't feel "mature" enough). I have alcoholics in my family (they don't drink - now) and it left a mark on me, from what I've seen - not just them but also friends - drinking does not appeal to me at all.

I have the privilege (ahem) to observe all kinds of alcoholics around me (I think they call them alfa, beta, gama, delta). Today I I was on a bus from school at 4pm- it was not even full, but 3 people were visibly under the influence. They looked miserable. I sometimes hear drunk people passing my window at night, alone, yelling things that don't make sense. They are loosing their dignity. Does that bring ANYTHING good in our society? Violence, broken families, car accidents... I think it outweights whatever money alcohol-producing companies get in a long run. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if people drink occasionally and responcibly, but a certain level of maturity IS needed here. My point is that it makes me sad

I had it all written, but in the meanwhile it logged me off, so I rewrote everything, I hope I did not miss something important this time. I also had a good question for you that would bring this to a more positive note but it condensated right out of my brain

And have good time in the US

[Lauriane]

I agree on the dignity thing. Whenever my friends get drunk, like completely wasted-drunk I just feel sad for them. The worst part is that they do things they don't/won't remember doing afterward. Even when sometimes their antic make me laugh my ass off, part of me can't help but pity them, which I hate. I am lucky though none of them I could call alcoholic, they only drink occasionaly, but still, that stings to see that side of them.
What highly shocks me is how young some alcohol consumers are! My little sister told me about one of her friend, who's 13 and got drunk on his way to school on a Monday morning and nearly fell into an ethylic coma. I mean, what the heck?!
And all those guys who are on their 15th shot of vodka and shrug you off with a 'Oh, don't worry I can hold my booze!', well sure you can Sue, but I'm not sure your sight, your reflexes and other motor skills can...

[LittlestThing]

I have this *person* that always made me laugh when drunk, but this year I got really sad whenever I saw him - either he was dunk or depressed. He isn't drinking now for some other health reasons and he can be even funnier with no alcohol in his system
I think gama or delta alcoholics only drink a few times a year, but get totally wasted when they do. Though I think I read it develops at people in their thirties, forties, when they've been doing it for years.
Those guys you've mentioned are the worst, they cause death of innocent people by saying they can drive... Right and I can too...
You would be surprised how young teenagers are. My friends get drunk every weekend and none of them are even 16 yet! I'm lucky enough to go to school where kids don't show up to classes drunk, but I remember my BF telling me in grade 8 (12years) how a classmate vomited during a class because he got drunk before school and how another one drinks a shot of vodka every morning... Not normal.

[MaryDearMary]

All my friends drink. Drinking is a big social thing in Portugal, because beer is so cheap and everyone is expected to drink as soon as they turn 16. I have never been drunk. Not even slightly. For a while, during my teenage years, I lied and told all my friends that I did. I guess I really wanted to feel accepted, because not getting drunk meant you were a square or a nerd (add that to the fact that I have always been the straight A's sort of student, with extracurricular activities around the clock). I stopped doing it after I went to college. I feel I should be proud of staying sober. I mean, I drink socially (like half of a half of a beer, but still) but I'm proud that I never lost control like that. I can party sober, thank you very much.

Now, when I go out, I see all this little kids drinking, sometimes even younger than my friends were when the drinking subject first presented itself. I see young girls dressing in a far too provocative way (I don't even know if it's supposed to be called "dress"...they're basically naked), and young boys smoking and drinking. Some of them can't be over 12, I'm sure. I just keep thinking...what the heck is wrong with these people? Where on Earth are their parents? My mother would rather tie me to a chair than to let me go out when I was 12!

[printcards]

I just keep thinking...what the heck is wrong with these people? Where on Earth are their parents? My mother would rather tie me to a chair than to let me go out when I was 12!

I think this all the time. I drink occasionally and have been pretty drunk a few times, but never at a young age and certainly not on a regular basis. My parents always knew where I was and what I was doing, and if I had been drinking or smoking I wouldn't have been let out of the house again for a long time. They also taught me the dangers of those things in a way that didn't make them seem sexy or cool for being forbidden, so I didn't even want to try. I would go to parties in high school where girls would make themselves throw up in the bathroom so that they wouldn't gain weight from drinking, but would still feel the effects of the alcohol. I remember thinking they needed some therapy. It's just not mentally or physically healthy to be that way. One girl I knew in college would get extremely drunk every weekend and end up embarrassing herself terribly. I felt so bad for her because it was clearly a self-esteem issue. We would all encourage her to drink less and tell her that we liked her much more when she was relaxed, sober, and being herself- but it didn't help.

I think people do partly need to just get the partying out of their system, but for some people it becomes a way of life. I'm not sure what the solution is, but it's definitely a problem. In the US, I think some of it could be solved by parents being more involved in their children's lives. In most families, both parents have to work and, in general, I think parents are more career obsessed now than they used to be. They don't view parenting as the serious job it is. They expect schools to teach morals. Obviously I'm generalizing, but I see a lot of this. I think some of it could be helped by parents taking more time to bond with and earn the respect of their children. Teens are much more likely to listen to someone they respect.

[MaryDearMary]

In the US, I think some of it could be solved by parents being more involved in their children's lives. In most families, both parents have to work and, in general, I think parents are more career obsessed now than they used to be. They don't view parenting as the serious job it is. They expect schools to teach morals. Obviously I'm generalizing, but I see a lot of this. I think some of it could be helped by parents taking more time to bond with and earn the respect of their children. Teens are much more likely to listen to someone they respect.

It's like that in Portugal too. People have to work extra because the minimum wage is so low and life is getting more expensive by the day. I also think that we are too darn obsessed with material things. Little kids are prancing around with i-Phones and top of the line computers because their parents want them to have everything that money can buy, like that's supposed to compensate for the lack of parental guidance/love/attention. So right now, I look at younger generations and most are spoiled brats who have no idea of how the world works. School can't raise your kids, specially when they cut class all the time to go get drunk or whatever.

I really don't condemn drinking/getting drunk, unless you're underage and/or end up doing something dangerous (like driving or end up like this girl in my college who drank way too much, passed out in the middle of a street and woke up naked and probably raped). But these kids should be playing board games, not drinking games

[Sarahdg]

Guess I'd better join in on the conversation since I helped start it. I can say I have never been drunk in my life. I actually did have my first alchoholic drink when I had just turned 15. I remember what it was and where I was - it was a kahlua and milk and I was at an "after party" for my dancing concert at once of the teachers' houses. I only had one drink, but the next morning I woke up feeling like crap and called my Mum to come pick me up right away.

It's weird though because actually in high school and at University I actually never felt pressured to drink at all, and no one ragged on me for not drinking or said I was uncool or anything because I chose not to drink. In my family, my Mum doesn;t drink, and my Dad just a beer occasionally. My Grandad loves his whiskey and is basically drunk every night, but he's mega old, so we just deal with it. He's a nice guy - although when he gets drunk he gets loud and sadly to say, rather racist (but he grew up in a different time and place so we kinda just ignore that coz at 88 he ain't gonna change). My brother drinks and he went through his party stage when he turned 18 (legal age to drink in Australia) be he was generally semi-responsible about it - ie he wouldn't drive if he was going to drink and he usually was going to a mates place, not out on the town.

Now, one of my friends from work was a fairly big "wild child". She's basically the same age as me - a couple of years older, but she asked me one day if I had ever been drunk, and when I told her no, she says, "What? You've never been drunk?" And just from the tone of her voice, I knew she was judging me for never having been drunk. That actually peeves me majorly because who the hell is she to judge me for never having been drunk? I never judged her for being wild in her teens and 20s, so why should she judge me? Also, I don't feel she is very responsible with alcohol. My flatmate has an illness and she can;t deal with alcohol very well, but every time we go out for dinner, the other girl is always encouraging her to have a drink, even if my flatmate has to drive! And this girl knows that my flatmate has health issues and can't have too much alcohol in the first place, and then knowing that she has to drive, encouraging her to drink. I mean really, *?

[Lauriane]

I really don't like it when people pressure other people into drinking, and it's even worse if, like your flatmate, they have health issues. Because, okay, get wasted all you want, * your liver if you want, but just don't mess with the ones who want to stay clean.

This summer I finally managed to prove someone wrong though and that was rewarding. I was in Dublin with my best friend and we met this bunch of French guys about our age. We decided to spend the evening together and well, they drank their fair share of Guiness (which I find absolutly yucky). This guy I'd made friend with noticed my glass of Coke and told me 'C'mon if you don't drink you'll have no fun! Drink up!' and I was like 'No, thanks, I'm good. Plus don't worry about me I'll have plenty of fun'. He remained skeptical, but guess what? At the end of the evening (well really, it was morning aha), he came up to me, as drunk as he was, took me by the shoulders and said 'Right now I'm trying to convince myself you're not drunk. And I can't.'. Because I was actually having fun, I was dancing and singing and laughing. But the big difference between he and I was that I knew what I was doing, and I was doing it willingly and responsibly (also I remembered it all the next morning which he didn't).
But I was happy to proove someone that, yes, you can totally have fun without alcohol.

[LittlestThing]

I think the main reason is just generally not talking to their children about such problems from the young age. If a mother tells her already 13 year old son not to drink for the first time, he will go and try doing just that. Open relationship with children from start is the most important even if parents work all day or if families do not live together. For example, my parents are divorced, they both work around 11+ hour days but I still have a great realtionship with them beacause they were open about their experiences with drugs, alcohol, family...
I don't feel the pressure from my friends generally, a lot of them dont drink (thankfully - and they're not less popular or something) but some are like "You've never been drunk?" "amm, no, I have never even drunk..." "Oh, we'll take care of that." - NO, thank you, I can decide when I'll start for myself.

Now, when I go out, I see all this little kids drinking, sometimes even younger than my friends were when the drinking subject first presented itself. I see young girls dressing in a far too provocative way (I don't even know if it's supposed to be called "dress"...they're basically naked),

This is another story entirely! I don't feel comfortable wearing only a short tunic with nothing underneath. Please respect yourselves enough to put pants on.
Though I think young people drinking is a different problem, I'm most irritated by (I'm sorry I'm generalising here) men who get home after work drunk and keep on drinking in the night, possibly get violent or start stupid arguments with wives, children; that makes me sick.

[MaryDearMary]

Oh! That "Oh we'll take care of that" speech! I've heard too! It's good to know people are the same all around the world

Yes, I do feel it's important to be open about this sort of things. My first drink was also at 15, like Sarahdg, except I was with my mother at the time. When I was 13 I busted my knee so I had to quit dancing, and to compensate I join a folk music group. My mother was a singer there (I still am, she quit last year). We tour constantly. Most of the musicians are guys and they drink and party a lot, so I was exposed to that every night. My mother bought me my first beer

I have a friend just like that, Lauriane! I'm the one making sure he gets home safely at the end of night (early morning actually, but still) and I have to stay there waving goodbye for at least 10 minutes because he gets extremely friendly when he's drunk and likes to make sure I'm seeing him waving goodbye.("Yes dear, I see you. Me and the whole neighborhood. Byeeeeee") Coke is also my going out drink

I agree, people who get drunk every night should not throw stones at those who actually have a mind of their own and don't go around killing brain cells. I know that tone of voice far too well. It's the one that makes you feel like you're the one doing something irresponsible and not cool. I hate it.