How Do I Fix This?

[Purrsnickity]

I feel weird asking this to strangers, but I really do need an opinion on what to do about my boyfriend's sister. She's never really been that warm with me, though at times we've had some decent conversations and I went to celebrate New Years (with my boyfriend and his parents and her husband) across the country where she currently lives. We've never hung out 1:1, and any time she's been in town and invited me places, its always in a group with my boyfriend and we never really interact. She and her husband came into town for Christmas last year, and we ended up having an "incident". I was at a family get-together without my boyfriend and had been... shall we say, "overserved"?... and she threw me out of her parent's house for my being loud and obnoxious (I was a bit fired up about a certain topic, but DEFINITELY not out of control). I feel AWFUL that I behaved as badly as I did, and apologized, but now she refuses to acknowledge me in any way, and had gone so far as to actively tell my boyfriend to find someone else, AND friend old friends of mine (people I haven't spoken to in YEARS, and people I recently grew apart from) on Facebook to ask questions about me and spread a VERY embellished story about that unfortunate night. She's also told my boyfriend things about that night and subsequent interactions that are not true. I have apologized and owned up to my poor behavior that night, and have been very active and well-received with his family otherwise, but I feel like his mom now treats me differently, and I'm scared that my boyfriend will get fed up and we'll break up. He basically avoids the situation and tells me that as long as I keep being as awesome as I usually am, eventually she'll look silly and give up the act, but I want this in the past and I don't really feel like he's sticking up for me. We've been pretty happy up until now (2 years together), and I wish I could make this better, but apologizing and continuing to stay involved as much as I can with his family doesn't seem to be working. What do you guys suggest?

[Purrsnickity]

Hello???

I posted this forever ago. Am I just in the dark, or wrong, or what?

[bonesfanatic]

It sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle!
In all sincerity it doesn't sound like you had anything to apologise for. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Were her parents at the house at the time? It seems strange that she had the right to throw you out when it isn't even her house. Is it possible that you could have offended her with your opinion? Perhaps you should try and confront her about it in that way, although I suppose it's a bit difficult when she won't even acknowledge or speak to you at all. It sounds like this girl is pretty immature from the way she has spread rumours about you. I wouldn't be too concerned, and I'd just continue to associate with your boyfriend and his family. If you're concerned that your boyfriend isn't supporting you confront him about it, and unless his parents have given you any indication to stay away then just assume that you're welcome in their home regardless to what your boyfriend's sister thinks.
Good luck! xx

[RubyRed22]

Hi!

I've had a similar experience with my boyfriend's brother. I think you should just let her be, if she's acted like this with you she has probably acted like it on other occasions and the people she is trying to convince will see it. The only proof she has that you are bad for her brother etc is one single occasion which will eventually be (probably already has been) forgotten.

x

[Purrsnickity]

I think CrawDaddy might've been answering the wrong thread, but thanks for the advice y'all! Its such a frustrating situation and its nice to get a different viewpoint.