When you just want to punch a family member.

[beah1219]

So, growing up, my parent's taught my brother and I to be polite. And now, we are a couple of the most well mannered people I know. Which makes it hard when you are trying to tell people to stop being a jerkhole.

My parent's siblings didn't raise their children the same way. One of my cousins is the worst. And since my brother came out about 4 years ago. He is the biggest bully I have ever met. And my brother won't stand up to him. And because he is family, he seems that he was always around. They went into the Navy around the same time, at first they were on different bases but then my brother was transferred to Charleston. So, they are now on the same base.
My brother is fairly open about his lifestyle choice. But our cousin sometimes stops by my brother's clinic (he is a lab tech) just to taunt him. He has stayed there for 2 hours at a time just to make fun of him.

Anyways. My brother is gay. And my cousin is a homophobic jerk who is a higher pay status to my brother. Now he can't stand up to him, because technically he is my brother's superior.

He is just an insensitive person. Last night he posted "I don't why gay people hate chick-fil-a "Eat more Chicken" can easily translate to "eat more *". Just sayin lol"

And I finally had it. So, I said he wasn't funny. and he replied with something stupid. I personally feel like him is over compensating. But being the "nice" person that I am , I would feel bad for saying how I really feel about him. Mostly cause he is family. After he made that retort though I thought of a really good comeback but I had already deleted him. I just needed to vent because I don't want to be one of those people that screams at the world through their facebook. Especially if that person can't see it. Plus if I were to say what I really wanted to say, I would feel bad if something were to happen, because he has expressed thoughts of suicide.

I want so badly to be mean and stand up to this person that is related to me.. Does anyone else have family issues that they have to deal with? How do you deal with that person/people?

Thanks for letting me vent!

[candielu]

We expect family to be the people we can rely on to accept us always, but unfortunately that isn't really true. It's horrible your brother has to put up with that, but he's in a tough situation with the cousin being a higher rank. I can't say anything about that, because I don't have any experience with it. In a perfect world your brother should be able to tell him to stop or have someone higher up tell him without consequences, but it's not a perfect world.

But if you are there to support your brother and give him the love and acceptance he needs, that probably makes it easier to deal with your cousin.

And nobody says you can't tell him to shut up at the next family gathering when he opens his mouth. Sometimes an audience helps people realize how bad they sound.

[TealFinch]

I understand your resistance to controversy and being impolite towards a family member, and I can certainly relate. However, your cousin's expressed views are clearly offensive to both you and your brother. While you cannot expect someone a logical or compassionate reaction from someone who acts this way, I think it would be best to sit him down and tell him your thoughts on how he is acting in general. I would just be very clear that you are speaking on behalf of yourself and your own opinions, not on the behalf of your brother.

That being said, it's always best to choose your battles when it comes to family matters, but if you feel the need to delete him as a Facebook friend and vent somewhere else, then it seems like at an issue worth addressing. Good luck