Good Vibes

The Heartbreaking Wisdom of Frances Bean Cobain

All right, so to catch everyone up to speed, singer Lana Del Rey recently made some unfortunate comments (I mean, throw a stone and you’ll find a celebrity making an unfortunate comment) in which she romanticized the untimely deaths of her favorite singers Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and mused about meeting a similar fate, as in, she said straight-out “I wish I was dead already.” She later recanted her statements.

Del Rey’s upsetting sentiment did not go over well on Twitter. The Internet talked back (as the Internet does) and one of the best responses came from Frances Bean Cobain, Kurt Cobain’s daughter, who never knew her father because his life was cut so tragically short.

Initially Frances Bean (@alka_seltzer666) posted the following series of tweets:

“I’ll never know my father because he died young, and it becomes a desirable feat because people like you think it’s ‘cool.’ Well, it’s f***ing not. Embrace life, because you only get one life. The people you mentioned wasted that life. Don’t be one of those people. You’re too talented to waste it away.”

She has since deleted those tweets and left the following tweet up in its place:

“I’m not attacking anyone. I have no animosity towards Lana, I was just trying to put things in perspective from a personal experience.”

I completely understand why Frances Bean felt the pressure to delete her initial strongly-worded tweets (the Internet is a hard place to have an opinion, and detractors and haters are legion), but I can’t help wishing she had left her words up for all to see. She’s absolutely in the right here. Lana Del Rey isn’t the only person romanticizing these deaths.

Glamorizing the suicides and overdoses of musicians has become “a thing” when it absolutely should NOT be. There is no shortage of celebrity biopics, YouTube tributes, and RIP T-Shirts mythologizing those who passed too soon, without examining the consequences of their passing. All too often, we forget the real, hard and fast ramifications of loss, the holes in the hearts of the loved ones left behind.

Frances Bean’s comments are a reminder of the real-world effects of these tragic actions. Her truth is a powerful one. Her loss is heartbreaking and, clearly, still takes a toll on her life. Sometimes we all need some perspective on our relationship to celebrity culture and Cobain’s daughter was exactly the right person to distribute the wake-up call.

  • Bethany Hope Mullins

    What does Lana have to do with Francis Bean Cobain anyway? Lana can say whatever she wants. If she wants to die, let her. This is catty.

    • Chris Loren

      What do you have to do with either of them? This is catty as well.

    • Maura Stuard

      Actually, No. It’s not catty to want someone who is a role model to millions of young girls (And if you say she isn’t, you’re fooling yourself) to understand that suicide is not a solo thing. It effects EVERYONE around you. I have multiple close friends who have parents who ended their own lives, and it’s something they have to carry every day. An appreciation for the fact that you are alive, not dead from a heroin od or a tragic and painful accident is something EVERYONE should have. And FBC has every right to speak out to foolish girls, be they famous or not, and remind them to be thankful. Had she called LDR a bitch and said she was f*cking stupid, now THAT would be catty. She conducted herself with class and poise far beyond her years.

      • Shannon Slavan-Lombre

        Well said

    • Ashley Marie Wallace

      Since Lana brought up Frances’s FATHER, glamorizing his death, I’d say yes, she had a right to respond. And I agree with the other commenters, there is nothing catty at all at trying to prevent suicide and I think it’s completely ignorant to say as such.

  • Rosario Añañuca de Fuego

    I think FBC felt compelled to answerback as her father’s suicide was mentioned. I don’t think that’s an issue to throw around

  • Moxy O’Brien

    irony abounds…without Kurt’s suicide, he wouldn’t still be relevant, it’s not like Nirvana was Good.

    maybe we should stop pretending like people were visionaries Just because they kill themselves or overdose on something, and people might stop wanting to emulate the behavior to gain the notoriety.

    btw, “life was tragically cut short”…serious journalistic license for ‘shot self in face’.

    • Kirsty Matthews

      I think you’ll find that saying Nirvana are not good is an opinion, not fact. Nirvana were a very good band in my opinion, and they paved the way for a lot of bands. Perhaps they would not be as big as they are today had Kurt Cobain not killed himself, but that’s just the way things go, people remember tragedy.
      And it WAS a tragedy, to counter your final comment, as this poor man suffered so much, he felt this was his only way out. Lana was wrong to glamourise early death as she did, and Frances had every right to post that comment and more, go Frances!

  • Tendai Jeanette Mabingani

    A minor correction that should be made to this article: Frances hasn’t deleted those tweets. It you go to her twitter page, they are not listed directly under ‘tweets’ but rather ‘tweets and replies’ because she tagged Lana’s twitter handle (@lanadelrey) in those tweets that everyone is quoting….

    The tweets still exist:

  • Tracy Chapman Howard

    Hmmm. Wondering if Lana needs help…

  • Angela Nino

    You mean he was murdered young.

  • Danny Gillard

    “Death should not be glorified, anybody can do it” – Johnny Rotten

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