So we’ve finally made it to Twin Peaks (just the TV show, not the movie Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me)! Between references to Twin Peaks on The Simpsons and catching part of the show when my parents watched it when I was a kid, it was definitely one of those shows I FELT like I always knew. (Even when I would sometimes confuse it for Northern Exposure – which, they are kind of similar, I have notes comparing them – but anyway…) I finally sat down and watched the entire series start to finish in 2008.

If you haven’t seen the show, it’s centered on the death of Laura Palmer in the town of Twin Peaks and Special Agent Dale Cooper (played by Kyle MacLachlan) comes in to help them investigate the murder. It’s scary and a mystery but also a prime time soap opera so it’s basically my favorite thing ever. There also was a great Sesame Street parody and Saturday Night Live sketch about Twin Peaks.

There are a lot of things I love about this show. It highlights a huge obsession of mine: coffee, it gives me yet another Special Agent to be in love with, Dale Cooper and David Duchovny even makes an appearance in the series (so does Billy Zane)! You get to see a lot of good Lara Flynn Boyle cry face and everyone in it is pretty amazing (plus a handful of these actors have since been on Mad Men so it’s pretty wonderful).

Also, just in general there are some pretty great life lessons to be learned in the dialogue:

“Harry, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men’s store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.”

So, grab some black coffee and cherry pie and let’s find out how Twin Peaks ruined my life:

1. Audrey Horne and Everything About Her

Oh, Audrey Horne. Firstly, she has great style. I mean, just every time she makes an appearance she has the best clothes on.

Even in the pilot:

She falls in love with Agent Cooper (I mean, who’s not in love with Kyle MacLachlan?) but he refuses her advances and then she has a thing with Billy Zane which, like, come on, he’s no Kyle MacLachlan. She says awesome things like, “I’m Audrey Horne and I get what I want.”

Her awesomeness can basically be summed up in this photo of her changing out of saddle shoes into red heels at her locker at the beginning of the school day:

2. I SAW THE SCARIEST IMAGE EVER TO APPEAR ON TV

When I started watching Twin Peaks, my bff, Anna, who was the one who convinced me to watch it, would ask me what episode I was on as I went through. So I’d keep her updated with where I was in the story and we would just gossip about the show in general.

Until one day when I got to a particular episode and Anna said “oh no, something terrifying happens). And man, was she right. I watched this and actually screamed out loud because it’s just so shocking and scary and just…surprising, really. (Luckily, Vulture agrees with us!)

I mean, I almost couldn’t WATCH this because it was so scary. It’s like he’s coming right toward you and I can’t even handle it. Terrifying. I basically can never get over seeing this.

When Anna bought an old laptop from me I took that opportunity to put that image of BOB on the desktop and then laughed when I realized it was named “BOB.png.”

3. Convinced My Dreams Are Super Meaningful

There are a lot of dreams and visions in Twin Peaks. And they always link to things in the real world. So when I have some crazy dream I always want to figure out what it means. Like, whose murder could I be solving by paying attention to my dreams?! I mean, duh, everyone thinks their dreams are very important (and interesting) but once you watch Twin Peaks you’re like, “wait, maybe I’m just not interpreting these dreams correctly!”

There is another great Simpsons reference, this one to Coop’s dreams in “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 2.”

It’s so perfect because it’s a mystery episode anyway and then you have Chief Wiggum having a dream where Lisa gives him clues to solve the case (JUST LIKE Twin Peaks!)

4. Changed My Entire Best Friendship

The aforementioned bff, Anna has done two Twin Peaks-related Halloween costumes (and three David Lynch-related ones, overall), The Log Lady AND David Lynch (the third DL-related one was Dorothy Vallens from Blue Velvet).

After we were both sufficiently obsessed with the series we started a now-on-vacation-mode Etsy shop called The Great Northern Crafts. And then we just made Twin Peaks EVERYTHING.

We take every opportunity to take Twin Peaks related pictures when we’re out.

And, it goes without saying, we can’t stop buying each other best friends necklaces. For real.

Also I feel like since Anna once was Marion Crane from Psycho for Halloween (post-shower scene) that I should probably take Laura Palmer “Dead. Wrapped in plastic.” for Halloween one year.

5. I’ll Buy Anything Related To Twin Peaks

While there are a LOT of things I am really into TV/movie-wise there are not that many things that I obsessively buy merchandise revolving around.

The biggest one is probably Star Wars since I’ll pretty much buy anything that is related to Star Wars (original trilogy, folks, duh).  But the next one is definitely Twin Peaks.

I have a phone case that looks like Dale Cooper’s tape recorder, I have a map of Twin Peaks tee shirt from Threadless, I have MANY books related to Twin Peaks, countless buttons, a sweet Log Lady print, a Double R Diner mug and I mean, I don’t know if this counts but I have a tattoo on my wrist that is part of this quote from Twin Peaks:

“Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.”

Also, this my absolute favorite thing on the Twin Peaks Gold Box Set:

Brilliant.

So that’s it for Twin Peaks, you guys!

Watch out for next week where Anne Donahue and I switch columns! That’s right, I’m writing an Old Lady Movie Night and she’s writing a Five Ways Something Ruined My Life. Huzzah!

(All images either my own, borrowed with permission from Anna Hendrick or screengrabbed from my DVDs)