— Five Ways Something Ruined My Life

Five Ways ‘Ferris Bueller's Day Off' Ruined My Life

4. Desperate To Be A Genius At Deception Just Like Ferris

These kids who are masters at deception are my idol. You know?

Zach Morris, Ferris Bueller, I want to BE you guys! They’re so quick-thinking and fearless and always know how to get out of a bind.

I was especially jealous of Ferris’ Rube Goldberg-esque bedroom ruse and you better believe that’s the idea of what I WANTED to make in middle school when we had a Rube Goldberg assignment in science class.

And of course, kids like that are always great at computers – I love when he changes his absent days in the school computer – and technology in general. I mean, he has an awesome sound system, he hooks things up to his doorbell. And he just really sets the scene for Kevin McAllister who obviously goes above and beyond everyone’s wildest dreams of deception.

I mean, I was way too much of a rule-follower as a kid for any of these shenanigans. I don’t even think I faked sick. I would mostly just get so stressed out about whatever reason I didn’t want to go to school that I’d actually get sick: hives, throwing up, etc.

Who knew Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was going to make me get into all my anxiety issues? Awesome!

5. I Just Want to Jump On a Parade Float

There are two things that are clear from the whole parade scene: I always associate “Danke Schoen” and “Twist and Shout” with this movie and I’m desperate to perform some sort of lip sync performance on a parade float.

I mean, lip synching on parade floats is basically the entire premise of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and somehow this German parade in Chicago with guest appearance by Matthew Broderick is the most compelling parade I’ve ever experienced.

Song ideas for my parade float performance: “What Makes You Beautiful” “Lucky” (B. Spears) or “No Scrubs.”

(Main image via, images from the movie screengrabbed by me)

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