— Five Ways Something Ruined My Life

Five ways ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ruined my life

Do you know what happened just a few short days ago? Sarah Michelle Gellar retweeted a pic (from husband Freddie Prinze Jr., swoon) of her daughter Charlotte pinning down her dad during a jiu-jitsu class. Sarah Michelle’s caption was totally perfect and got our hearts all aflutter. Get this, she called her daughter a #futureslayer. Heart eyes emoji!

This unexpected Buffy moment got me thinking about my favorite show of all time. I start watching Buffy when it premiered in 1997 and watched through the first 4 seasons as they aired. I eventually stopped watching it (until recently, but we’ll come back to that) but a bunch of adults I knew kept watching it through the end. So it would become this awkward thing of, “Hey Teen Erin, did you see that crazy episode of Buffy last night?” And I’d have to say in response, “No, sorry, Adult, I stopped watching that vampire show because I have play rehearsal every night.” So it was only a few years ago (at the insistence of some friends) that I started completely re-watching (and subsequently dragging my husband with me) and finally got to finish watching the series. And boy, was I hooked.

It took maybe 3 minutes for me to remember why I watched the show in the first place and then it just kept coming. And you know what? I don’t care about the weird stuff. I don’t. The Dawn Stuff doesn’t bother me at all (that season 5 finale gets me every single time), and I don’t care that it just goes totally off the rails eventually (come on, you know what I mean). I’m with them all the time. I want to be best friends with Willow and to have dated Angel and have Xander be in love with me and secretly date Spike later on and have a great mentor (and friend) in Giles. I really do.

This show ruined my pre-teen and teen years and then came back to ruin my adult years. I can’t escape it. So for that, here are five ways Buffy ruined my life:

1. I don’t understand why I don’t have slayer strength

This is the thing, I’m “stronger than I look” but I’m not STRONG. You know what I mean? Like, I can carry heavy things, I took kickboxing briefly in high school and I didn’t wimp out when I went camping with my family and had to hike out 4 miles in pouring rain with a huge camping pack on, but I don’t have Slayer Strength.

Buffy Summers does and she is amazing. I mean, I know she’s The Chosen One and everything, but she can really kick butt. (She also heals quickly and doesn’t bruise which I’ve always been intensely jealous of.) A ton of vampires closing in on her? Who cares! Some gross demon stalking her? She’s fine! And she makes it look SO easy. Never a hair out of place, never without makeup, never sweating.

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