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Finding Your Own Brand of Sexy

When I think ‘sexy’, my mind automatically reels to the ‘ooh la la’ bombshells of the glamor period in old Hollywood. I think the likes Marilyn Monroe, Bridgette Bardot, Veronica Lake.

I think it’s important to realize that there’s so much more to being sexy than what we’re sold commercially. There are different brands of sexy. While I doubt I’ll ever feel comfortable in a low-cut top and with tanned legs, some girls do it wonderfully. It just doesn’t work for me.  Audrey’s character, Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, is sexy, and so is Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima. Both girls rock what they have, but in different ways. There is such a broad spectrum of the different types of sexy, and finding one thing sexy doesn’t mean that we can’t have an appreciation for the latter end of the spectrum

There are endless interpretations of what is sexy, and to me, it’s all about channeling what you find sexy and making it work for you.

I’ll start with an example: I’m very childlike in my appearance. I’m under five feet tall, I have a babyface, and I have pouty lips. Rather than contour my face and wear high heels ever day, I make my sexy work. I rock flats, I do babydoll makeup and I rock lipstick to play up my pucker.

Wear what YOU love and what makes you feel ‘ooh la la bombshell’ worthy.
Some girls look great in jeans and a t-shirt. Personally, I just don’t like the way I look in jeans. I feel much more myself in a frilly dress and with bows adorned in my hair. Sure, there are probably more flattering outfits that I could wear, but I wear what I like and I won’t apologize for it. Sure, my mom may roll her eyes when I come home for a visit, and my friends may laugh about the fact that I’m always ‘dressed up’, but I like it and have been known to stroll around campus imagining that I’m in an Andrew Bird music video sequence. Wait, what? This goes for makeup, too. I love thick 60s liner and the aforementioned bold lip. While many magazines would shutter at the thought, I say mix the two. To me, adorable doll makeup can be just as sexy as nude lips and the smoky eye (something I’ve never been quite at ease with on myself—but some ladies do it wonderfully!). My cat-flick and rosy lips are my go-to bombshell look. Sometimes I’ll mix things up a bit, but it’s nice to have a signature style. Embrace yours, because it’s a reflection of who you are, what you like.

Embrace your imperfections and quirks.
I have a gap in between my teeth that I’ve been self conscious about since I can remember. I had braces as a child, but correction of the gap would (in my opinion) be more extensive and painful than it’s worth. I’m so self conscious about the gap that I cover my mouth when laughing or smiling, etc. It’s little steps at a time, but I’m trying to make an effort to stop myself, to just smile, just laugh, enjoy the moment, and not worry about my gap. Girls with freckles– I know this is the standard example, but I love, love, love freckles. My wonderful friend Margaret has the most amazing freckles all over her face, and she embraces them. Not once has she covered them up with makeup (good!), and they add such character to her features. I can rattle off examples left and right, but my thinking is this: we all have physical and beauty quirks; we’ve got to live with them, so why not embrace them? They keep us looking fresh and from all looking alike!

Embrace your hobbies.
Enjoy your hobbies, hone your interests, and don’t apologize for it. I have a lot of ‘weird’ interests (I love pressing flowers, I collect vinyl records, and I take photos of myself daily for this blog!). Having hobbies and sharing what you love is what makes you interesting – there’s nothing sexier than that.

Pamper yourself!
Some days just wear a girl out and, when you’ve got the mean reds, you just need to pamper yourself. I make it a point, maybe every other week or so, to put some jazz records on, bake a ton of chocolate chip cookies and eat two, three (or five), wear a facial mask, groom my eyebrows, paint my nails—really all of that girly mumbo-jumbo that endless romantic comedies have convinced us we need. But honestly, I feel oh-so-lovely listening to my Joan Baez records and singing along to Adele.  Taking the time to pamper yourself will make you feel rejuvenated and like the jazziest and snazziest version of yourself.  You deserve it. Do yourself a favor and eat that extra cookie. Sing into your hairbrush. I won’t tell.

Wear sexy underpinnings.
This is such a cliché, and heaven knows that no one will be catching a glimpse of my knickers any time soon, but something about wearing matching bra and panties, lace and satin, just makes me feel so lovely. Dress for yourself. A friend of mine once asked me why I wear such pretty underwear if no one sees it. My response: It makes me feel pretty. This post has gotten quite long, but I suppose what I’m trying to enforce is that there are so many shades of sexy, and what works for one girl may not necessarily work for another. It isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ sort of thing, as many magazines would have you believe.Sexiness is all about embracing the things that you find appealing and channeling them into your daily life.I challenge you to make a list of women you find sexy and ask yourself ‘just what is it about these gals that gives them that bombshell factor?’ Confidence and the way they present themselves for sure, and being the bombshell that we already know you are – I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before you channel that and make it work for you.

I think you’re all bombshells.

You can read more from Amber Rose on her blog.

feature image via.

  • Anna Dobben

    I think confidence in who you are and what you’re wearing is so sexy. I love this Amber! What a great message. You’ve got a new blog follower!!

  • Christina Rose Parker

    Every day you make me so happy to have been your roommate this semester, to have this opportunity to be closer friends with you. You’re so positive, and amazing and that’s what I really needed in my life <3 I love every second with you, even if I don't act like it! : P I'm so happy to have been able to read these thoughts you have, and it makes me wanna embrace my inner bombshell haha~ I've been wearing dresses more because of you, and finding beauty in myself. I guess I just needed someone other than my mother to point it out :') I can't wait to see what you've got to say next! Hope you upload some outfits to tumblr soon ; ) And I hope your break has been amazing! See you soon Amber~

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  • Alyssa Susannah

    I love this post; it’s reading things like this that make me realize that I need to stop being so self-conscious about how I look and whether my style might make me stand out too much. I’m personally a fan of ’50s and ’60s style clothing (sometimes ’40s, too!), but updated in some way…I have a red gingham dress that I made from an original ’50s pattern, and I usually pair it with gladiator sandals to modernize it a bit. I have three old-style wool hats that I hardly wear because no one really wears hats nowadays, and I have a gorgeous red wool ’50s dress that my mom made me that I hardly wear. Again, reading things like this make me realize I need to stop thinking and just wear whatever I want! I let myself do it a fair amount, but not nearly enough.

  • Irati Toscano

    I once read in a Marian Keyes book that there are three kinds of gil: shoe girls, bag girls and underwear girls. I’m an underwear girl, so I completely understand what you mean when you say your underwear is nice and sexy because it makes you feel that way just for you! :)
    I loved you article by the way!

  • Nicole Ross

    This article really made me smile, especially the bit about freckles, I get endless comments about how people wish they had freckles like my crazy face, I’ve come to realize they really are just apart of what makes me, me. I totally agree with embracing your hobbies and interests, for a long time I would keep my weird interests to myself, until I starting opening up, and people always want to hear more if you’re into something different!

  • Kathleen Rhea Galeos

    Amber, this is quite lovely :)

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  • Liat Aviram

    Wow, I feel like I wrote this myself – we are so alike. I never think of myself as sexy as I am also about 5 feet tall and am always mistaken for a teenager [I’m 21]. I feel weird wearing low cut tops or tight dresses, but once I’m wearing a flouncy dress usually in a bright color and cute pattern – hearts or bunnies :) – I feel like myself. I also cannot leave the house without red lipstick no matter day or night – I feel naked without it. I definitely have a very distinct personal style but I guess I’ve never considered it as ‘sexy’, but this article really helped me realize and think about the different kinds of sexy. I’m digging this whole ’embrace yourself as your sexy self’ vibe. Thanks so much! ♥

  • Rhianna Fisher

    Amber, you’re such a superstar sweetheart! This article is so very inspiring! xxx

  • Amber Schmidt

    Thank you guys so much!! :)

  • Yvonne Kaisinger

    Great article! I think it’s sad that we often strive for a certain beauty or body ideal. But what is ideal, really? The things I love most about my friends (and most of the time about myself) are the things that stand out – their unique sense of style, their unique laughs, their quirks, and their versatile interests.
    Thanks for reminding us in this article that it is important to sometimes pamper ourselves and to realize that quirks make people interesting. If everybody was the same, looked the same, etc., or, in other words, was ordinary, the world would be a very boring place…

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