Written Rambles Favorite Words Said with a British Accent Tyler Vendetti

I have a plan. In the future, when I finally decide to give up my strenuous life of trying to be Kate Middleton, I will stalk every one of my male celebrity crushes until one of them (preferably Joseph Gordon-Levitt) finds my numerous Twitter messages endearing and allows me to bear him many offspring. When the children are born, the core part of my plan will take effect: I will only speak to them with a British accent until they develop ones themselves.

You think I’m crazy. Whatever. When we’re all in nursing homes watching our sons and daughters spawn mini-mes of their own, my grandchildren will all inherit the British accent that I created and I can sit back and watch my absurd science experiment unfold. Best of all, I can force them to say anything I want them to, including these phrases which I’ve always found to be particularly entertaining.

Water Bottle
I want to say that from 5th grade to 9th grade I played soccer but if I did, I’d be lying. Not because I actually played baseball or I only started in 7th grade or anything like that but because 10 percent of our practices involved actually kicking the ball around and the other 90 percent involved us cornering our British coach and forcing him to say this word multiple times. Why? Water bottle, when pronounced by an American, sounds like “wah-ter bah-tull.” In contrast, water bottle, when pronounced by a Brit, sounds like “wah-uh buh-ull.” Besides the fact that most of us never even brought our own water bottles (everyone opted for Fruit2O at the time), this was always the most rewarding parts of playing soccer.

Strawberry
The only thing I like more than David Beckham ordering a milkshake in the new Burger King commercial is how he orders it, specifically, how he says “strawberry.” Because strawberry, when blessed with the gift of being said by an attractive British man, sounds more like “stro-bree” rather than the American “strah-ber-e.” And don’t even get me started on “banana.”

Bugger
Neville may have brought sexy back in the last Harry Potter installment but Oliver Wood was the original Hogwarts heartthrob. In addition to good looks, Mr. Wood knew how to use that British accent to his advantage which is why I swoon during the scene where he explains Quidditch to Harry and describes the bludgers as “nasty little boo-gahs.” (It sounds like “nasty little boogers” when I describe it but I assure you, Ollie makes it sound delightful. Don’t let me ruin it for you.) Anyone that can make a word that includes the word “bug” is simply magical.

Rubbish
Rubbish, meaning something that is worthless, trumps the American equivalent “stupid” any day. Not only is it classier but it even sounds better. “Roob-ish.” This word is so beautiful, I wouldn’t even be offended if someone called me rubbish with a genuine accent. In fact, I might even like it. (Cue creepy winking face.)

Bloody Hell
Not to make another HP reference but if it weren’t for Ron Weasley, this phrase would not be nearly as fantastic. Pronounced “blue-d el,” this British catch phrase sparks images of puppies and rainbows in my stomach instead of an actual bloody hell (which, as I’m thinking about the literal translation, would be terrifying).

So maybe I can’t be Kate Middleton but if I can master her accent and brainwash my children into mastering it too, we as a family will all be one step closer to drinking tea with our pinky fingers up and adopting a fashion sense straight out of a Burburry magazine. What are your favorite words said with a British accent (or any other accent that you may fancy)? Because when JGL is ready to commit to his future wife and give me some offspring, we’re going to need plenty of ammunition to fire up this language endeavor. After all, those accents aren’t going to develop themselves.

Image via AllMyPosters.com

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  1. I need to agree with people saying that in the UK there are different accents, this post should be called just ENGLISH accent and you could add words like: cup of tea, biscuit and toffe…..if it was scottish accent then we should add: rugby, currency (or legal tender), trousers and fucking aye. Hahaha. I love accents!

  2. I had English relatives come visit my family in Canada when i was a kid, and I got such a kick out of being asked “are you all right?” all the time, which I guess they say to mean “How’s everything/how are you doing” – so cute!

  3. I cant help but laugh every time Peter Dinklage’s Tyrion pronounces the F word.

  4. Brilliant! and I also love how they pronounce “t” or any word ending with “s”, so cute! ^^

  5. I have to agree with the others when I say there’s no such thing as a British accent! Though, I do like how Americans are so obsessed with it ;) I have an Irish neighbour who told me I had a British accent and I was like ‘…I do?’
    Yes, ‘Garage’ rhymes with ‘Carriage’, ‘bollocks’ is balls (but used like bull__), ‘Waterbottle’ is more like ‘War-ter-bot-ul’, unless your in a particular Dick Van Dyke area of London, and ‘Bloody Hell’ is ‘Blud-ee-hell’, just like Ron Weasley ;)
    One day I’ll master an American accent..

  6. I love how Ahley Madekwe is speaking. Her accent is just adorable! :)

    My favourite word is ‘pathetic’ pronounced by Claire Holt. She’s from Brisbane.

  7. HP references are much appreciated! Good luck with the plan! I’m with you! x

  8. If you say ‘beer can’in a British accent, it sounds like ‘bacon’ in Jamacian.

  9. I loved this article (I am British) and yes there may not be one accent for all of us but it’s nice to know that any of them are appreciated! It reminds me of that scene in Love Actually where the American girls make Kris Marshall say things in his English accent and then realise table is the same :)

    And also yes, I’m not sure I’d say bollocks in front of family, I get told off by my parents when I use it :)

  10. Kitty Cats is a nice thing to say when you have a british accent. ;D

  11. Sound plan. Except that JGL will be talking to your kids in French. ;)

  12. believe me if i could marry Tom Hardy’s british accent, i would :)

  13. We went to Bermuda this summer and they had a cool mixture between an Island and a British accent. I almost died.

  14. There is an Australian accent, then there is a hogans accent, greatly used in a show called housos.
    I, also, seem to believe I will marry a guy with some kind of united kingdom accent, idiot are what area they are from. Although, Evan mcgregor just sounds so god damn amazing!

  15. LOL aaw these comments are so funny and as someone said they do make you feel proud! I have a generic Northern English accent with hints of where I live and my boyfriend speaks clearer than me but when we met an American in London he thought we were Irish!

  16. Right-o!

  17. Personally, I think any word sounds better with a British accent (or Irish). I have to agree with another poster though – i think my favorite is “really”

  18. Aluminum. Al-you-minium!

  19. When my friend’s adorable English granny came to visit, I was delighted to hear the word ‘garage’ pronounced so that it rhymed with ‘carriage.’ It was the cutest thing I’d ever heard!

  20. Thank-you Lisa Weston! I’m Australian, but it really bothers me when people talk about ‘the British accent’ or ‘the British flag’ because no such thing exists!