“Haha, typical susyj87! She always did wild stuff when she sat behind me in math class, second semester of 10th grade! I think. No, wait, that was Laura Mills. Didn’t I meet her that one time at that party last summer? Yeah, yeah, she was the one who kept asking people to take pictures with her. God. Really? She has a portrait of me on her forearm? Cool, I guess.” – 70% of this girl’s Facebook friends, probably.