James Dean can now retire his red windbreaker and Judd Nelson can begin to lower his defiant fist because the dissatisfaction of the contemporary youth has reached gross levels of cynicism. The sexually repressed kids of the late ’50s/early ’60s and the stereotypical angst of the privileged ’80s teens has now given way to the excessively self-involved and nosy adolescents of modern America.
It seems that nearly everyone the world over is on Facebook. It has probably been the largest advancement in interconnectedness and open conversation since the mass embrace of the telephone. So why is it that every time I talk to my friends about the social media site, the overwhelming consensus as of late has been that this juggernaut of friendship gives them an unwanted inferiority complex.
The saddest and truest statement I have ever heard about Facebook came out of my thirteen year-old cousin’s mouth, “Whenever I go on, I see that all my friends are having way more fun than me. Then I kinda get sad. Then I kinda get mad. Then I log out, but then I always log back on.”
I tried to explain to her that her “friends” get to pick and choose what people see online; they can manipulate how others view them, their lives and talents. I tried explaining to her that the girl who incessantly posts about her boyfriend and whose status updates are all Marilyn Monroe quotes is probably dissatisfied with her relationship. And I also tried telling her that the guy with the backwards baseball cap who took a picture of himself in his bathroom mirror without a shirt on is probably not a solid dating prospect. I hope the latter really hit home.
I have started to come to the conclusion that life (and I use the word “life” loosely) online is now viewed through an artificial, Instagrammed lens that is keeping the Internet-mongers from properly discerning reality by distracting these individuals with over-exposed, grainy pictures of the truth. The worlds that are being crafted online are delving farther and farther into the realm of fiction while, simultaneously, those who subscribe to this school of mistaken information are beginning to believe these narratives to be fact. A site that’s layout was once optimal for companionship seems to have now, in the most tragic of reversals, be promoting alienation.
I feel like I have traveled down a rabbit hole following the promise of friendship, but somewhere along the way I got sidetracked and am now stuck at a never-ending tea party of perpetual status updates attended by the mad-hatter who is “checking us in” and the Cheshire Cat taking selfies with his Android. I have been through the looking glass and what awaits on the other side is a subdivision of misled children, who are deceived into believing that they have not accomplished something until the online community views, acknowledges and responds to said accomplishment. But these misguided many don’t want a gold star or a pat on the back; they want something far more tangible and visceral. They want the jealously of their peers. And this is, kind of, really sickening. If you need proof of this observation please look to the recently popularized Rich Kids of Instagram blog.
I believe this upcoming generation has the ability to become the most tolerant and forgiving group of inspired individuals and will bring new promise to philanthropic living. Unfortunately, these admirable qualities are currently being overshadowed by the hysteria of obtaining a steady flow of useless information about an average 359 “friends,” the likes of which include that one guy who sat next to you in 3rd grade.
I am not attacking Facebook, nor will I ever attack Facebook. I AM ATTACKING the ever-increasing mindset that is becoming all too common amongst the Facebook legionaries. At its worst, if this psychosis goes undiagnosed and unchallenged, this generation will wallow in self-pity and misinformation, pining for an existence that is about as real as Kate Gosselin’s dancing ability – which seems pretty nonexistent. Or, what will be truly devastating is if they begin to believe their own lies, blurring the already thin line that separates our cyber-selves from the personalities that exist outside the software. Though I am not sure which is worse, those who post overly embellished jabber clearly trying to bolster up their self-esteem or those who feed off and comment on the steady supply of exaggerated nonsense, giving the former the emotional high that they wanted. It is a messed up, two-way street of egos and self-depreciation. And this road dead-ends at corner of vanity and mediocrity.
I know that the type of person(s) that I have described may not be the majority on Facebook, but it is impossible to deny that this has been an increasing trend. And I also know that I have spoken in hyperboles throughout much of this article, but that is because I am scared- terrified, at times. So I am not speaking as an isolated, overly-opinionated vigilante, but as a girl who is concerned about the mental well-being of the world she inhabits.
I wonder; does fun for the sake of fun still exist? Or are we are all just holding a pose, waiting for our next profile picture, so that we can prove to everyone else that we are having a good time?
Featured image via imagehaul.com
Here’s something you should ask yourself: If you have people on your list of Facebook friends that you feel the need to impress, are they really your friends?
totally agree with your article! go out and do something people instead of living your life on facebook. i know i’m prone to getting sucked into facebook too, but i’m trying to be more productive in my REAL life.
This is such a good article. I’m constantly worried that whatever I put on Facebook will be seen as boring (or other such similar) as my homepage seems to be a constant stream of notifications about people having great, fun, exciting lives. Whether or not they really are doesn’t seem to matter because I can’t help feeling jealous and/or left out of what everyone’s getting up to, and feeling like my own life is quite dull and boring.
For example, just very recently I created an ‘event’ for my 21st birthday. Almost as soon as I’d made and posted it, I got paranoid that other people would see it and think I was boring and sad and have no friends because I hadn’t invited 200 people, just my close friends who I actually wanted to be there. And it’s stupid because I know that my life isn’t sad or boring or lonely – I’m doing well at university, have great friends, family and a lovely boyfriend, no major dramas, yet being surrounded by all this social media can make you doubt it.
Even now I’m a bit apprehensive about posting this comment because I get so worried about what people think of me online but – seeing as that’s what this article is opposing – I’m going to throw caution to the wind and post it anyway! (:
Great article!
This happened to me a few years ago, before you could update your status wherever with your smart phone. (It didn’t catch on so fast in France)
I was on the tram, sitting near some kids who were about 13, and they were goofing around until suddenly they do something spectacularly stupid and kill themselves laughing. It’s not that they were being incredibly obnoxious on public transportation that gets me, it’s that one of them goes “Oh man, this is so going on facebook!”
Seriously? The guy couldn’t wait to get home to his computer so that they could make an obvious inside joke (“omg, the frying pan! and the noodles! wtf rofl *tag those involved* <3 <3") to all 359 fb friends and show how much fun his *closest* friends have together, shame you weren't there because I don't like you as much as these guys, lol. Talk about wanting "the jealously of their peers"… Why not enjoy the obnoxious moment with your friends instead of trying to make the rest of us feel like we're losers, home alone, eating cookie dough and watching Buffy. (Not that I do that, of course. Ahem).
Great piece! This is something that has been on my mind as well. I think fun for funs sake still exist you just hafta weed through a sea of “friends” to get to the actual friends that still enjoy having it.
Great article!! I totally agree!! I gave up my full Facebook account last Nov and it was one of the best things I have done for myself. I have a new account mainly so that my brother and I can post back and forth since we live so far apart. (and so I can do things like log into Hello Giggles and post) Besides him I have 6 additional friends, all of them out of state. The thought occurred to me today that tomorrow, for my birthday, I will not have 100′s of happy birthday wishes from “friends” on Facebook. People that don’t really know me or what day my actual birthday is but instead just see my name pop up on their Facebook page letting them know.. Something about those random well wishes made it almost seem contrite. I guess the older I get the more old school I become, believing that theory that I would rather have one very close friend than 100′s of Facebook friends, or acquaintances…however that saying actually goes.
A great article! What’s funny is that the generation and youth you are referring to are most likely NOT going to read this. They’ll see it recommended by a friend on their timeline an they’ll either scroll right past it, click it and see how long it is then close it without reading it, or they’ll simply hit “LIKE” to make their friend think they pay attention to what interests them.
Thanks for writing this! I truly couldn’t have said it better myself.
Look forward to reading more of your stuff! So well written.
well said!! bravo
Great article! x
Interesting idea. That was the main reason I enjoyed Facebook – because it made it easy to share my pictures with my friends and family. I’ve never had malicious intentions with my posts/pictures, but I suppose they could be perceived that way, especially if someone was left out of an activity (usually in my case because of money restrictions). And I am constantly hearing that people feel left out because of something they saw on Facebook. Maybe people need to stop posing for the sake of showing it off on FB, but maybe people also need to adapt and not take these things so personally. I’m sure most people do want themselves seen in the best light, but I doubt most are doing it with the intention of hurting others.
I completely agree that their intent is not malicious. But there is also a fine line between being proud about what you do and what you have earned and being blatantly arrogant about your possessions and lifestyle. I have just noticed that this line is being crossed far too often, especially amongst the younger set of Facebook users. Personal pride and introspective analysis are consistently being forsaken. That being said, it takes two to tango (one being the posters and the other being those who read and comment on the post). It is justs a very dangerous dance.