Facebook Is Not Your Therapist From Our Readers

In truth, I didn’t want to write this. The relationship that had brought me to Los Angeles was incredibly dear to me. It was full of laughter and love and romance until one day, it wasn’t full of those things anymore. It was full of crap.

The wound is still too fresh for me to write about The Ex. If I did, I’m sure it would come out entirely biased and angry. My online dating profile would read: Short and sassy brunette seeks bitter party of one. What I will write about is how he used Facebook as a means of dealing with his emotions. Now, just to clarify, I am completely guilty of using Facebook in a way that would often times not paint me in the best light. I have, on occasion, wanted to make ex boyfriends jealous with pictures or status’ of “Look at how good I am doing without you!” I am not proud of this, but hell, I’m only human. I can, however, say that I have never posted something that would be hurtful or spiteful to someone at their core. This isn’t Mean Girls.

To tell the story accurately, I have to inform you that when The Ex and I were discussing our break-up, I was the one who wanted to work it out (mainly because I am a masochist) and he chose to break it off entirely siting the, “I hope we can be friends” line. At this time, I was brand spanking new to Los Angeles and really didn’t know anyone. One afternoon, I was having a cocktail with my cousin at a bar on La Brea and the charismatic, basketball player sized bartender asked me out. Curious as to how it would be to sit across from a man whose shoulders you barely grazed, I said yes. We started casually dating and a few times here and there we mentioned each other on Facebook. Welcome to the land of cyber space flirting.

Anyway, a few weeks after we started dating, I woke up on a Wednesday morning to three text messages and a handful of Facebook notices alerting me that The Ex had written something just cryptic enough that it may or may not be about me (it was) and he may or may not have unfriended me (he did). Here is the gist what it said:

“If you think you’re better off, then you’re probably right. Listen to your gut. It will save you tons of disappointment. Sincerely, yourself.”

My first thought was, “Did he really just write a letter to himself on Facebook?!” My second thought was, “Geez pal, at least have the balls to tag me in the post.” This was, after all, his passive aggressive way of getting under my skin, wasn’t it? He wanted me to see this. For it to ruin my day. Well congratulations Tom Cruise, mission accomplished. It DID ruin my day, but mainly it just made him look like a thirty-something man child who could work an IPhone.

This was the guy who broke up with ME. This means he no longer had a say in anything that I did with my life. If I wanted to date the entire Los Angeles Lakers roster, I could. If I wanted to marry the next vegan eating, bike riding surfer dude that came along, I could have at it. He lost the right to have any say in my life when he made it abundantly clear that we were no longer together. Furthermore, if he felt so hurt by seeing me dating other people (read: person), he should have emailed me or called me and had a discussion about it. Who in their right mind thinks that a public forum is the place to display their own emotional insecurities? The answer? Almost everyone.

I am increasingly horrified by what people deem appropriate to put on Facebook. I have seen pregnancy tests (newsflash, you just PEED on that), bloody, broken noses and copious amounts of spelling errors. I have found out about family members getting married because of massive ring pictures with the caption “I SAID YES” underneath it. Don’t even get me started on the number of times people change their relationship status from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated.” The truth is, it’s not really that complicated. Facebook is not your therapist. In fact, it is often extremely judgmental, bitter and kind of a jerk. If Facebook were, in fact, your therapist, she’d be out of a job and you’d be fighting with your insurance to get your co-pay back. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that social media has it’s place in society today. I am no stranger to Instagram, Facebook or the Twitter. I get it, I do. I won’t be trading in my laptop for a quill and carrier pigeon anytime soon. Although wax seals on letters seem pretty cool. At least they look cool on Game of Thrones.

  1 2Continue reading... →
comments

Please help us maintain positive conversations by refraining from posting spam, advertisements, and links to other websites or blogs. we reserve the right to remove your comment if it does not adhere to these guidelines. thanks! post a comment.

  1. You just used a blog to vent about your ex, with details about your breakup, making him look like a fairly bad guy.
    All this while complaining about how people use social media to do the exact same thing.
    Irony acomplished.

  2. “I am increasingly horrified by what people deem appropriate to put on Facebook. I have seen pregnancy tests (newsflash, you just PEED on that), bloody, broken noses and copious amounts of spelling errors. I have found out about family members getting married because of massive ring pictures with the caption “I SAID YES” underneath it. Don’t even get me started on the number of times people change their relationship status from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated.”

    wtf! …thats the point of fb! to keep your friends and family and old friends updated on your life….

  3. Agree!!!!

  4. Hey, you should tell people how to live their lives and share things with their chosen networks…oh wait, that’s what this is. Facebook is what you (and your networks) make it, like any tool it is what people use it for. If you don’t like how others use it (and their use is not a violation of terms of use), then manage your networks better. This article is an exercise in unintentional irony.

    I don’t think facebook should be used as a comment management system, but this is the big bad world we live in.

  5. Hm…and how are you so sure that post was about you? Honestly, it could very well be about him being better off for not having that second slice of cake, who knows. Kinda presumptuous of you to assume it was about you….Then again, I suppose this is break up talk, where we all assume that whatever the ex does has to in some way relate to us. Though I’d think twice before writing a whole article about it…(Awkward!)

  6. I loved this! :) Great read!

  7. Yikes, she doesn’t like spelling errors on Facebook but they are OK in her article?

  8. …and Hello Giggles shouldn’t be yours, lady.

  9. … says the girl you just publicly blogged a passive-aggressive rant about the guy… just sayin’!

    People deal with breakups and emotions in all kinds of ways. Some people smash their ex’s car, or burn their stuff. Some call and text relentlessly. Some post hurtful words on FB. Not saying it’s ok, but people are people. You’re not perfect, neither is he. Maybe he did act childishly. Maybe it was a moment of weakness.

    I dunno, I would be upset too, but that would be the breakup talking. Maybe it’s the same for you here.

  10. Live and let live I say. I too have people on Facebook who I feel post too much, rant too much or go into too much detail (or more annoyingly, not enough detail and just post cryptic status looking for attention), If you don’t want to unfriend them, yet can’t stand seeing anymore of their updates, then there’s a very simple middle ground – simply untick the ‘show in news feed’ option. They’ll never know that you can’t see their posts. People will use Facebook however they please and personally, I’m fed up of the amount of posts I see giving rules on how to use social media. At the end of the day, people like your ex are only hurting themselves and making themselves look like idiots. Just smile and let them get on with it! Oh look, I posted this through my Facebook account :P