Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Jerry Seinfeld

The always wonderful Jerry Seinfeld was born today. What better way to celebrate than with an EINTKILF?

EINTKILF Jerry Seinfeld 

1. Puffy shirts are always in fashion.

I will never understand exactly why this episode is as popular as it is, and I will never understand why the sight of Jerry in a puffy shirt is so hilarious, but regardless…this image brightens my day.

2. How to handle exes dating.

Jerry: Elaine, you always care who an ex girlfriend dates.You don’t want it to be someone you know, and you don’t want it to be someone better than you. Now even though the latter is obviously impossible, the former still applies.

Amen, amen, amen, Jerry. Truer words have never been spoken…except I think I am better than every single person that any of my exes could possibly dream up.

3. Don’t bother locking your door.

The two most iconic sitcoms of the ’90s are both entirely guilty of this lesson: never lock your door, apparently. Monica and Rachel / Joey and Chandler never locked their doors. Anyone could walk on in at anytime. Jerry is obviously guilty of this as well, considering Kramer’s entrance is arguably the most famous entrance in television history. And not only that, but all of Jerry’s friends walk into his apartment without knocking or having to unlock the door or anything.

And it’s New York, people! Isn’t that place dangerous? Eh, what are friends for?

4. Love thy neighbor.

Similarly, it is important to really know and love your neighbor. Neighbors are a great resource. Neighbors are the people who can be there for you as soon as you need them–for anything. Like a model, or a coffee table book, or a cigar manufacturer.

5. Hey, exes CAN still be friends!

Why don’t we ever talk about Jerry and Elaine when we are arguing that age-old “can men and women be friends” thing? I mean, we could argue that since Jerry and Elaine had a thing previously, they could never really be considered “friends,” but that would be a terrible argument because clearly Jerry and Elaine were always the best of friends.

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