Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Hermione Granger

IDK guys, I guess it is “back to school” for those of you lucky ducks that are still in school. Yeah, I don’t care if it is high school, elementary school, LAW SCHOOL, I just miss that sweet regulation of a scheduled day. I miss, sigh, learning–which is why I am so happy that I get to teach you guys here in this column every week. I guess it should be considered more of a “reminder” than a “lesson” because we all grew up with this stuff together.

But for back-to-school week, I was thinking the best person to focus on is Hermione Granger. And also because I’m like…way into Harry Potter, and I feel like you guys don’t even know that about me. I am slightly more than a Friends/Simpsons buff, and by “slightly,” I mean also Harry Potter and that’s it.

EINTKILF Hermione Granger

1. Equality is important.  For whatever reason, I tend to forget about Hermione’s awesome club entitled The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare or S.P.E.W. Though the name isn’t catchy or flattering, I always appreciated Hermione’s passion for equality. Obviously by now, because we aren’t kids anymore, it is pretty clear to pick out JK Rowling’s parallels between her wizarding world and the real life one. The way house elves are treated by wizards, including the fact that wizards own the cute little creatures, is indicative of the countless numbers of groups that are mistreated in the world. Having a strong female character like Hermione defending them is awesome. GO GIRL.

2. Sort out your priorities.

It is kind of funny that Hermione ends up blowing off her last year at Hogwarts to break all kind of “rules,” especially when her life was in such danger! What growth. Which leads me to the next lesson:

3. Rule breaking is okay sometimes. Kind of like I mentioned with Lisa Simpson, it is okay to be a good girl who doesn’t conform. The wizarding world really goes downhill throughout the book series, and when it becomes clear that the Ministry of Magic is more corrupt than the LAPD (oh, snap!), Hermione has no problem straight up breaking the rules. She eventually finds herself breaking into the Ministry of Magic, disguising herself as Bellatrix Lestrange to steal from Gringott’s, not going back to school, and being a key part of an all-school-and-magic-persons battle. I guess it is true what they say: some rules are made to be broken.

4. There are more important things than books and cleverness. One of my favorite Harry and Hermione moments (and there are A LOT TO CHOOSE FROM) is when she tells him that friendship and bravery are more important than books and cleverness. In fact, it still makes me cry–book and movie version. Hermione and Harry have such an awesome relationship, and I always appreciate how she pushes him to be a better version of himself, but I also love when she is modest about herself, as well. I fully DITTO this lesson. I will always believe in the power of bravery and friendship over books and cleverness–maybe because I am not book smart, but I am a super good friend, and I think I’m quite brave.

Of course, we all know that Hermione is book smart, clever, a great friend, and super brave, so I guess she is just perfect.

5. Sometimes, you just gotta get physical.
I literally cheered out loud the first time I read the part when Hermione slaps Draco in the face. I wasn’t even mad when they made it a punch in the movie. Some of my favorite parts in the entire series are when the kids throw their wands aside and use their hands. Maybe that means I have an anger problem, or maybe it means that I think Malfoy is a foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach.

6. It’s okay to always be right. I don’t know I guess because I always think I am right, I think it is okay to be right all the time. I know people don’t like people that are never wrong about anything, but eh. It happens.

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