Even More Things I Thought Were Super ‘Adult' When I Was A KidErin Mallory Long

If there’s one thing I’ve learned growing up, it’s that being an adult is not what it seems like from the safety of being a kid. Much like the world of TV shows and movies, life couldn’t possibly live up to our expectations as children. I’ve already listed five things that seemed REALLY adult when I was a kid and here are some more!

Wearing High Heels And That Clicking Sound They Make

I want to say also, this is ESPECIALLY true while walking down an echo-y hallway. Like, anything that makes you sound like you might be a substitute teacher seemed really adult to me as a kid. It’s just that like, “Ooh, I’m wearing fancy shoes to work” sort of thing that always got me.

I remember I had these ugly shoes for concerts (you know, like a school concert you’re in where you have to wear white shirts and black bottoms) and ALL I WANTED was to have some shoes that made that sound. So I got a pair of shoes that vaguely made this clicking sound and was so excited until I got to the concert and some girl told me I had “witch shoes” on.

So there went that dream.

Of course I enjoy heels sometimes as an adult, but as a New Yorker, I mostly live in flats because otherwise I’d be complaining about blisters ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

Using Fancy Words Like Pantyhose and Pocketbook

As a kid, I sort of assumed there’d be a time in my life when I would suddenly say things like, “Oh, I picked up new pantyhose and they’re in my pocketbook! Cheers, Jeeves!”

But alas, that never happened. If I ever wear something on my legs it’s either tights or something I would refer to as “stockings” and never pantyhose. (And I’ve got to say typing pantyhose so many times is sort of setting my teeth on edge since “panty” is one of those skin-crawling words for me. Like how some people feel about “moist.”)

But I also carry a purse, not a pocketbook. I guess I got these two words from my grandmother because I know she referred to her purse as a pocketbook. She always had Le Sportsac purses too which is why now seeing ones with like, anime characters on them makes me feel SO weird.

Getting Mail That’s Addressed to You

I still get a little excited when I see mail addressed to me. I mean, not nearly as excited as when I was a little kid but still a little thrill. Any time I got a birthday card or junk mail in the mail I freaked out. So exciting. Even just getting to CHECK the mail was pretty sweet.

I mean, now, sure, I realize most of the mail is bills. Or junk mail addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Erin Long about burial plots in Long Island (that is a REAL piece of junk mail I’ve gotten on several occasions).

But it’s still fun when someone actually sends me a real piece of mail (maybe this is why I like birthday cards so much).

Wearing Glasses

I get that this is a weird one. And since I have had glasses since I was 17 (but like, I only had to wear them to sit in a movie theater or stare at a computer screen) and now wear contacts every day (eyesight worsens over the course of 10 years apparently, whoops!) I understand this isn’t FUN, but it was still adult in my mind as a child.

It’s probably because I had braces from 5th to 7th grade so I KNEW that wasn’t fun. So I figured glasses MIGHT be fun. And let me tell you, braces are especially not fun when you play the French horn and have to mush this goo stuff into your braces to be able to play – yeah, I was super cool in middle school.

But every adult I knew had glasses so I figured those were the ticket to being an adult! And they always seemed more fun than picking out the rubber bands for your braces (not that fun).

Now I know better.

Drinking Brandy

Okay, I know that just drinking alcohol in general is a very adult thing (in that, you’re not legally allowed to drink it until you’re 21) but like, drinking a beer or having some wine never seemed like OVERLY adult to me. But drinking brandy? That STILL feels really adult to me and I’m definitely allowed to drink brandy (but don’t care to).

Especially when you consider you drink brandy in a snifter? I mean, how much more adult could you get?

I mean, drinking a brandy is all over Titanic as a classy AND adult thing to do. When Jack has dinner with them Rose informs him that now the men are going to go to the smoking room for brandys and to congratulate each other on being masters of the universe.

See also:

Benjamin Guggenheim: [after being offered a lifebelt] No, thank you. We are dressed in our best, and are prepared to go down as gentlemen. But we would like a brandy.

He’s on a sinking ship all decked out in his finest clothes and he just wants to die with dignity…while drinking a brandy.

Is that’s not the most adult thing I’ve ever heard of I don’t know what is.

(Main image via ShutterStock, Guggenheim image via quickmeme.com)
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  1. I can totally relate to your article. I’m 17 and i still think of those things…I love the clicky sound when i wear heels. Makes me feel so grown up.:) And i always think I’ll look good wearin glasses cause honestly, glasses suit me.:) but i too, don’t like using words such as pantyhose and pocketbook cause it sounds old. I, too, prefer stockings and purse:) i also still feel the thrill and excitement when i get an email or mail that’s addressed to me. :) i guess these are just some thoughts we can’t get rid of and is probably part of growing up:) thanks for posting!!

  2. I love your article, it’s hilarious and so true. I love the way children perceive adulthood (I thought writing checks was the most impressive adult thing ever. I still love writing them in fancy cursive with a flourish!) and now I get to see it from the other end through my seven year old daughter. Whenever she is pretending to be a grownup she adopts a British accent and says “I’ll be the mom and you be the sweetie!” Apparently I don’t use the word ‘daughter’ enough! lol

  3. I feel like a real teacher when I make the clicky noise walking down the hall. :)

  4. I remember wearing a suit, heels, and glasses at the age of 15 to school. I thought I was the coolest.

  5. I still think high-heels sound grown up! When I wear them I look for solid clicky-looking floors to make extra noise :D

  6. Totally relate to your comments about the braces and french horn. I, too had braces for most of the time that I played French Horn (5-12th grade).