Hundreds of millions watch Eurovision each year, but if you’re like most Americans, you’ve probably never even heard of the competition. BIG MISTAKE. Watching Eurovision will be one of the highlights of your year.
In short, Eurovision Song Contest is sort of like American Idol, except that each European country enters one song in a contest to determine which song is the continent’s best, as selected by public vote and panels of judges. Some of the songs are good – musicians like Celine Dion and ABBA have gotten their big break by winning Eurovision – but most of them are terrible. Laughably terribly, even.
And that’s why the live show is so much fun. Eurovision is full of dance/pop monstrosities with misguided costumes, embarrassing dance moves, and confusing English lyrics sung by non-English speakers. What the songs lack in quality, they make up for in sheer “Is this really happening?” entertainment.
I’ve compiled a video of Eurovision 2012′s fifteen most ridiculous songs to whet your appetite. Make sure to watch all the way until the end, or you’ll miss out on what will soon become your new favorite auto-tuned jam, ‘The Social Network Song’:
Clearly, Eurovision has it all: thick accents, crazy hats, glow-in-the-dark booty shaking, babushkas who don’t remember they’re supposed to be singing, near-naked men battling against gravity, a weird screechy high note sang by a statue lady, twins whose choreography may be wilder than their hair, and an old man rapping on a donkey. If that’s not enough to get you hooked, let’s not be friends.
Fortunately, you don’t have to live in Europe to watch the show. Americans and other non-Europeans can tune in to watch all of these songs – plus many more – performed live via video stream on Eurovision’s website. The finals will take place on Saturday (5/26) at 21:00 CSET (that’s 3pm Eastern and 12noon Pacific.) If these silly European musicians have really tickled your fancy, you can watch the semifinals on Tuesday (5/22) and Thursday (5/24), as well.