Hundreds of millions watch Eurovision each year, but if you’re like most Americans, you’ve probably never even heard of the competition. BIG MISTAKE. Watching Eurovision will be one of the highlights of your year.
In short, Eurovision Song Contest is sort of like American Idol, except that each European country enters one song in a contest to determine which song is the continent’s best, as selected by public vote and panels of judges. Some of the songs are good – musicians like Celine Dion and ABBA have gotten their big break by winning Eurovision – but most of them are terrible. Laughably terribly, even.
And that’s why the live show is so much fun. Eurovision is full of dance/pop monstrosities with misguided costumes, embarrassing dance moves, and confusing English lyrics sung by non-English speakers. What the songs lack in quality, they make up for in sheer “Is this really happening?” entertainment.
I’ve compiled a video of Eurovision 2012′s fifteen most ridiculous songs to whet your appetite. Make sure to watch all the way until the end, or you’ll miss out on what will soon become your new favorite auto-tuned jam, ‘The Social Network Song’:
Clearly, Eurovision has it all: thick accents, crazy hats, glow-in-the-dark booty shaking, babushkas who don’t remember they’re supposed to be singing, near-naked men battling against gravity, a weird screechy high note sang by a statue lady, twins whose choreography may be wilder than their hair, and an old man rapping on a donkey. If that’s not enough to get you hooked, let’s not be friends.
Fortunately, you don’t have to live in Europe to watch the show. Americans and other non-Europeans can tune in to watch all of these songs – plus many more – performed live via video stream on Eurovision’s website. The finals will take place on Saturday (5/26) at 21:00 CSET (that’s 3pm Eastern and 12noon Pacific.) If these silly European musicians have really tickled your fancy, you can watch the semifinals on Tuesday (5/22) and Thursday (5/24), as well.
yay! my country is not on the list!
Great that it’s spreading outside of Europe – I can imagine that it really is the most bizarre viewing experience if you don’t grow up with it! Love everything about it, it really is so woefully bad but brilliantly wonderful at the same time! Jedward were only great, very sad they didn’t do well this year though
Oh well.. Roll on Jedward 2013 
OMG! I love this! I’m a total Eurovision fan! My friends and I already have everything checked for tonight (we’re from Spain). This year contestants are just too funny, but… I’m still in love with the man that represented Ukraine 2007!! I’m leaving the video here so you can all check him… yo’re not gonna regret it. EVER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao1JJWuRhcw
I am OBSESSED with Jedward and was so thrilled they returned in 2012! Eurovsion is the highlight of mytv viewing year – BEST singing contest ever! In Australia it isHUGE and we have a drinking game to go with it (google it for the rules, you’re drunk by the end of the first song)
I never watch the Eurovision song contest although I live in France. I find it extremely boring. However, I watched it last year because my favorite band represented the UK (boy band Blue). I liked their performance and they finished 11th. Regarding France, everyone said that Amaury Vassili would be the big winner, as many bookmakers loved it. I didn’t like his performance and we finished 15th. Tonight, France is represented by Anggun, a very famous and popular singer from Indonesia. I wish her all the best.
Many people see the Eurovision song contest as an outdated competition, I do think that as well, but everyone has got their own opinion
A few thoughts. First, loved the surprise twist in the Russian song. But the fact that the lady in the back had on a head mic but didn’t know the words I loved even more. Second, the Turkey song kind of sort of reminded me of a really misdirected Mika. Third, Montenegro just shot way up in my list of the coolest countries in the world. Fourth, well played, San Marino. Well played.
I live in Israel right now and our program director opened this week’s weekly meeting by sadly announcing that Israel did not get passed on to the finals. He was really torn up about it. I think even more torn up by the fact that none of had the faintest clue as to what he was talking about.
Ahhh, Eurovision, i have so many memories… Just a note, the part of the Slovenian song you put in your video is not the actual song, but the backing vocals
I do agree though, some (most) of the songs are ridiculous and the best one NEVER wins….
I must say, watching the end of the finale is always my favorite part – when the reporters from each country get their minute of fame haha
I hope no one knows, what “Woki mit deim Popo” and “Dei Popo hot Gefühle” means, bacause otherwise I´d have to kill myself. just embarassing. But i´m glad they won´t go to the finale!!
i kind of liked the old man rapping on a donkey. and the screechy statue lady made me think of The Fifth Element. great article! i feel like i’ve been enlightened today. =)
ohmygod! i watched the second semi finals yesterday and was naive enough to believe i’ve seen the worst performances. but apparently i didn’t…
but i also want to mention that germany was the only german speaking country who wasn’t mentioned in your video. yay us
I’m so glad someone knows what Eurovision is!! I was assigned to watch it for a history class in high school, and I’ve been following it ever since. The contestants this year are like none other, and I’m excited to see what happens. Personally, I’m pulling for Jedward just because it’s their second year and they’re so hilarious I just can’t resist.