Broadcast Safe

Eulogy for ‘Bored To Death' & the Three Wise Men

What is there to say about a life cut down in its prime? It’s hard to be thankful for the time you had with someone when you feel deep down in your bones that they had so much more to give. But alas, we can not change the past and so rarely can we resurrect the dead (Futurama!). We are gathered here today to remember those we loved, those who were chopped at the knees by HBO’s heavy hatchet.

What we have now are only our memories. 24 beautiful half-hour blocks of memories. I recall the first time I met Bored To Death. I was a child-man searching for answers, trying to decipher the mazed path of early Manhood. And in many ways, Bored To Death answered my questions or rather, showed me that there would always be questions. The show taught me more about being a ‘Man’ than 24 years of cigarette and beer commercials. But of course it did. Beer commercials and Marlboro ads are not beautiful. Bored To Death was beautiful. In all its confused and hopeless ugliness, it was beautiful.

I remember when I learned that George, with his finely pressed and tailored suits, his endless knowledge of Fine Arts, still felt ‘less than’, still felt low and emasculated by his enemies. And I remember the first time George made me cry: when he looked at Jonathan like never before, with father’s eyes. It reminded me that family can be birthed outside of blood and intercourse and that it’s never too late. It’s never too late for family.

The nice thing about spending time with Jonathan is that I discovered failure is not only an option, but a side-car permanently attached to the motorcycle of life. Of course, Jonathan would dome bottles of white wine to cope, but that doesn’t mean he gave up. He was also one to never forget the child-like wonderment and joy of imagination. You can be whoever you want to be. You can even start whenever you want to. And fight for love! Even if it means experimenting with a guy-guy-girl threesome. At the very least, love and life are worth trying for.

Ray’s sadness was gorgeous. Ray taught me to be tender. I remember one time George and Ray were sitting in a car dressed in riot gear, I was in my usual spot, the red couch and Ray said something I would never forget: “People think that I don’t feel things. The truth is that I feel everything.” I hear you, Super Ray. O Lord, how I hear you.

Like any show, let us not lionize it in death. It was not without it’s faults. But what is? At the end of the day season, I had been affected for the better. That is something I am wholeheartedly thankful for.

Here lies Bored To Death. Here lies the White Wine P.I., The Courageous Cartoonist and the Silver Saint. Bored: September 20, 2009, Death: November 28, 2011.

Thank you.

Need more Giggles?
Like us on Facebook!

Want more Giggles?
Sign up for our newsletter!