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How to deal with the end of a good relationship

Ending a relationship is never easy, because it means you are ending something you built with someone. You are ending a whole phase of your life where you had someone to share your doubts, your happiness, your fears, and your weird-moments-dancing-and-singing-like-Beyoncé; and that’s not easy.

This is something that happened to me recently, and I know I am not the only one experiencing this strange feeling of, “But we were good together. What happened?” Our relationship had been better than ever. We could talk about anything and everything. And all of a sudden, the love we once had for each other ended.

Every relationship has its own story, but every breakup is hard in its own way. Here are some tips to help you cope after the end of a good relationship.

Make sure you are well-surrounded

This is the most important thing that you need to do right now. Choose the friends and the family you want to tell first, and know that these are the people that will help you get over this situation. Your first few days alone, you need all the good people who care for you around to give you strength. And switch it up from time to time: your friends and family have lives of their own, but while they can’t always be with you, you can make sure there’s always someone you can reach out to when you need to talk about your pain. If someone doesn’t want to take this responsibility, don’t be afraid to let them know you are disappointed. It’s also a good time to find out who is a good friend to you and who isn’t.

Be genuinely happy you met this person and had them in your life

Whether or not the relationship ended well, you were both in each other’s life for a certain time, and you loved being with him/her. Remember this. Never regret spending time and energy on a person just because things ended. You chose to be with them at the time, and you loved it, and that’s enough.

Don’t be cruel to your ex

“There is or there’s no love,” my mom told me right after telling her about my breakup. This is something you and your ex can’t fake, unfortunately, and you can’t be mad at a person for not loving you anymore (and vice versa). Life happens. It is hard not to blame someone when something ends in life, and in this special case, there’s no exception. You could blame everything on them, but we both know there’s never one side to a story. You were both in this relationship, so you’re both responsible for whatever happened. You will feel love and hate for them, but part of being an adult is to see the good side of the coin. You cared for each other deeply, and that made your relationship stronger. It can make you stronger if you choose to take the high road.

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