Dearest Downtonians,
First of all, thank you for bearing with me while I missed a week of Downtoning. I appreciate your kind tweets asking where the recap was and I apologize for making you wait for it forever, like poor Branson, alone in the garage polishing the motor for the 918739193th time.
You see, thanks to Lady Sybil and all the other suffragettes of her time who fought for our right to earn the big bucks in the workforce, t’was my job (and taking care of my baby girl and a trip to NYC and the refusal of every electronic gadget I own to properly download Downton episodes) that got in the way of me, you and this here recap. But never fear! I am on the couch, my computer is in my lap and roasting my thighs, I am surrounded by a pile of Dove dark chocolate wrappers and Jane the scandalous house maid’s face is frozen on my TV screen as I type this! In other words, I am back and ready to write about four hours worth of Granthaming and Crawleying.
But before I do let me offer up this disclaimer: I normally watch each episode of Downton at least twice, during which I take copious notes which then spawn these recaps. But tonight I am throwing caution to the wind and going noteless, because if I do not I will be here until Sunday watching and writing and quoting and crying and cringing and I just can’t live my life that way! It’s not what Lavinia would have wanted. So chances are good that I may miss some important moments, like the color of William’s father’s eyes, for example. And in those times of darkness and shame, I look to you, fellow residents of Downton Nerd-y, to shine your gaslight on my mistakes and omissions.
Okay?
First, I need to start with this because I am almost positive I missed some backstory surrounding the Lord Grantham/Jane the house maid’s husky makeout sessions. Is there some lengthy history there? Is he possibly the father of Freddie, her mysterious son? Or is it something more innocent, along the lines of: “Oh, this new housemaid showed up right when Cora starting being a MEGA a-hole and she looks like a mix of my wife and Claire Danes, actress from the future, and so I’ll make out with her and help her fatherless son get into a school where he’ll be mocked for being the poor kid with a maid for a mother and a grandmother who runs an apple store?”
I’m genuinely confused by the origin of their love affair and I loathe that his indiscretion is being pinned on Cora being an insensitive hag. First of all, hasn’t she always kinda been an insensitive hag? And didn’t he spend all of Season 1 talking about how he married her for her money and then genuinely fell in love with her?
And then suddenly WW1 squashes his self-worth and suddenly he’s stepping out on his wife like it ain’t no thing but a chicken wing!? Sorry Lord Grantham, but I have no patience for your midlife crisis when EVERYONE ELSE HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU. (Ahem…Like Jane, who had to quit her crappy job cleaning your chamber pot because you shoved your whiskey-soaked tongue down her throat.)
And here’s the thing that really drives me crazy about Lord G – aside from this one gross misstep, he remains a pretty solid dude. He’s always doing nice things for the poors and gave Sybil and Branson his blessing and encouraged Mary to ditch Sir Richard even after finding out about her getting Pamuked. I get that the whole point of this show is to highlight the flaws of the human condition, despite being a have or a have not, but still. Lord G, keep it in your pants!
Moving on.
Bravo to Branson, who asked “So you’ve made your decision?” for the one millionth time and finally got his answer from Sybil. Like a determined contestant on The Bachelor refusing to accept that she will not be getting the rose on the group date, Branson never once wavered while Sybil took her sweet-ass time deciding whether or not to destroy his bleeding heart. But all that waiting paid off, and he and Sybil then began the arduous task of threatening to run away and then not really doing so. Also, his name is Tom. Who knew?
Eventually the couple weds in Dublin and we later discover that Sybil and Branson made a baby, which is a scene I’d pay my child’s entire college fund to see. Picture it: Branson, with the intense veins below his intense combover popping as he intensely hovers above Sybil’s quivering body and utters intense words as he stares at her with intense eyes.
INTENSE!
(If you’re interested, someone’s made a F**k Yeah Tumblr for Allen Leech, the actor who plays Branson.)
These two final episodes marked my complete transformation into the leader of Team Edith. How can you not love this formerly horrible woman? If there’s anyone who’s changed due to the war, it’s Lady Sad Face. Not only did she become Volunteer Caregiver Extraordinaire, but she learned to drive AND went and fought for her man. While Mary hm’ed and haw’ed over Matthew, Lady Edith drove her fancy lil’ motor over to Anthony Strallan’s house and was like, “Sir, it’s time you and your now-gimp hand put out or get out.” And you know he’s totally gonna get to puttin’ out (an engagement ring) next season! Well done, Edith.
Cousin Isobel’s transformation into THE WORST is finally complete. She’s off to help refugees somewhere, but who can focus on her do-goodery when she’s just so painfully awful? If only she expended some energy helping Ethel, who once wanted to see the world and now spends most of her time staring at the inside of the most depressing shack ever constructed in an English village. *Golf claps* to the former maid, who boldly forced her baby daddy’s parents to acknowledge her and then rejected their terrible offer of raising wee Charlie as their own – without her involvement. Ethel’s decision to keep Chaaaaa-lee was my personal ugly cry moment of these last two episodes. Nothing can beat a mother’s love, you guys! Mrs. Hughes knows.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the un-sexual tension between Mrs. Patmore and Daisy blew up like Branson in a political conversation with an aristocrat. The two bickered and sparred in the murky corners of the kitchen as Thomas creepily lurked nearby in a cloud of cigarette smoke. Daisy – who very sweetly made peace with William’s dad, finally got up enough courage to ask Mrs. P for a promotion, who begrudgingly agreed to the raise at the Servants Ball. If reality television existed in 1921, these two would be the stars of some sort of Kitchen Wars show on TLC. They’re like the Siskel and Ebert of souffle cooking – in both shape and sass.
Say what you will about his terrible business skills and taste in friends, but I still think Thomas is the sexiest dude on the show (though Matthew’s soulful gaze does gut me). And though it was oh-so satisfying watching him self-destruct over the fake food stash, he still came out on top at the end, “finding” Isis the dog and emerging as a frontrunner for Bates’ abandoned valet position. O’Brien knows the truth: Thomas always wins.
Thomas is also probably a sociopath.
Dear Julian Fellowes: In season 3, can O’Brien please find love in a hopeless place? She’s already so filled with remorse over murdering Cora’s unborn child and tended so dearly to her ladyship during that whole Spanish flu situation – doesn’t she deserve a little intimate touching with a fellow human? Can’t you just imagine how relaxed she’d be after undoing that tightly wound bun from atop her head and shaking out her hair as she slips into something a bit more comfortable? Yes, even O’Brien deserves her own Mr. Bates.
I am sick of the Mr. Bates storyline, you guys. This probably makes me the worst Downton-ite on the planet and thus you are welcome to banish me to a shack in Ripon. But this whole “Is he a murderer or a martyr or both?!” storyline has just been going on for way.too.long. Anna remains the quiet queen of the entire show and I am glad she finally got a bootycall (and a wedding) in before Bates was hauled off to prison. I may be a little burnt out on Bates, but even I can appreciate how magical a candlelit night spent wrapped in his pasty white arms would be.
Now, before I discuss the reunion of Mary and Matthew, I want to run down some other things very, very quickly: Ugh, Sir Richard is such a creeper. That being said, he and Rosamund should totally date. Can’t you see that one happening? Boy, did anyone else feel bad for Rosamund when she discovered that her maid and her boyfriend where scamming her? But maybe it’s karma for her telling Mary to hold out on Matthew years ago. And gosh darn it, the Dowager Countess deserves props for being right about everything. How sweet was her scene with Daisy? And who else kinda got shipper-y for a Dowager-Thomas romance when they danced together at the Servants Ball, even though it’s virtually impossible that they’d ever get it on? And most importantly…
WHY HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE BURNED GUY WHO CLAIMED TO BE THEIR DEAD COUSIN?!
Okay, okay – Mary and Matthew time. First we must pay respects to Lavinia – who was a class act in life and death. After witnessing Mary and Matthew’s very erotic lip lock while dancing in the foyer, she later insists that Matthew act upon every urge and thought and cell in his body and get back together with Mary. She even tries to send a message from the afterlife via Ouija Board wishing her happiness for the future couple. And even though he initially refuses and does this big song and dance about how they’re cursed, he finally, FINALLY grows a pair and makes it happen with Mary, who was thisclose to heading to America to escape the wrath of Sir Richard and her Pamuk scandal.
Oh, Downton, how you torment us so.
And while this season meandered and followed boring story lines and introduced a lot of random people and unresolved situations which straight up left me confused (Edith and the farmer kissing, Lord G being a playa, the footman with the PTSD), it was all worth it to watch Mary and Matthew get engaged in the snow.
You guys, Mary and Matthew GOT ENGAGED IN THE SNOW! It was beautiful and romantic and holy mother of god, how good does that Matthew Crawley look all buttoned up in his tuxedo? Please someone wrap him up and put him in a to-go container for me to bring home and devour at 2 in the morning.
So what if Mary was inexplicably outside without a coat on and never once acted cold. I’m happy to just assume it was love keeping her warm. The only thing that could have made Matthew’s proposal better would have been if he got down on one knee and whipped out that stupid good luck dog charm in place of a ring.
And so this is where I must leave you. Season 2 has ended, season 3 is in the works and I shall feel empty inside until I’m once again parked in front of the television watching Carson sniff decanters with delicate ease. Thank you for joining me along the way. I’m sure I’ve missed 123456789 important things about the final four hours of Season 2, so please do call me out in the comments. I’ll meet you there.
Until then, I await the next season of Downton Abbey with ridiculous excitement, looking exactly like this:
With love,
Laura Linney (JK you guys, it’s still me, Kate Spencer)
[Photo: JaneAustensWorld.com]
Sorry, I realize that I’m weeks late, but your line:
WHY HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE BURNED GUY WHO CLAIMED TO BE THEIR DEAD COUSIN?!
was hilarious. I’m still smiling about that. Also, I totally agree. Your recaps are the best!
Like everyone else, I am so so sad that this season is over! I read somewhere that the third season takes place 18 months after the end of this season, so in the very early 20s.
I hope that they have tons of jazz age stuff, i think edith would look fabulous in a flapper dress, dancing the charelston, and continuing to improve as a character. She is the only daughter not married, so I hope they give her a very interesting, dramatic story line where she finds love or becomes a bad ass writer (for some reason I think she would make a great writer, probably because of the letters she wrote and what her farmer fling described as a pretty way to turn a sentence or something along those lines). I also hope they don’t just write mr. and mrs. branson and baby branson out of the story line….Ireland won its independence in 1921 so hopefully the branson family will have lots to do with freedom fighting and what not!
I now have made it my life goal to be proposed to in the snow by a scrumptious man in a tuxedo, preferably also in front of a beautiful mansion. How wonderful that scene was, I squealed the whole way through it!!!
I just had to comment real quick and tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading your recaps! I too watch each episode at least twice…and thrice on occasion (the William dying episode–I cried all three times.) And there was much rewinding of the beautimous snow scene. I’m gonna go with the idea that it was love’s light (eternal flame, if you will) that kept Mareh warm. Also, I hope that the creepstain fake heir never comes back. I had to FF some of those scenes because the makeup they put on that poor guy was really disturbing. And I hope Cora grows a heart and a brain next season. She had one shining moment that I can recall and that’s when she snapped at Isobel. Other than that…meh.
And OMG, I can’t believe we have to wait a whole year for season 3. *stomps foot like a petulant 3 year-old*
P.S I love how PBS has all of a sudden blipped on everyone’s radar. I’m a Masterpiece nerd and had been hoping that one day more people would jump on board. (not the Titanic, mind you)
LOVE your recaps! Can’t wait until Season 3.
Agreed on the Bates/Anna storyline. I always thought that was too creepy and that there was something extremely fishy about Bates. Too much mystery for poor little Anna that deserves a hot young aristocrat. Not old gimpy Bates.
Yes I cried like a baby when Matthew asked Mary and I did a happy dance for them.
Can’t wait to see the baby of Branson/Sybil. Going to be cuteeeeeee. Which Cora will probably be all over and once again ignore Lord Grantham for long enough for him to tongue another maid. geez.
Yay for Daisy and the raise and her new family member, that looks like the sweetest dad ever!
OK PREDICTIONS FOR SEASON 3 (AGREE OR DISAGREE).
The great Depression is looming…which came for Great Britain a lot faster than for America (only reason I know, is because I got a B- in my British History course at school and I worked hard for that B-!). So Downton will probably start to see some money issues soon, me thinks.
Mary and Matthew will have a wedding like William and Kate, extravagant out out the ass.
Edith will have more suitors this season and that burnt up cousin will come back….
My guess is about 2 new downstairs employees will come and shake things up. And I maybe crazy, but I wanna see Carson and Mrs. Hughes get together, agreed???
Something will happen to Ms. Patimore and Daisy will heroically take over making her new head cook.
And Bates will still be in prison…and let’s hope someone much younger and sexier will sweep Anna off her feet.
September…please come quick!
Matthew Crawley’s stunning handsomeness is enough to keep any lady warm in the snow. After the proposal, my favorite moment had to be the Dowager Countess saying “Do you promise?” to Sir Richard after he said he won’t be around anymore.
I loved your recap! And may I just add, if it’s not clear enough, but Matthew is such a stud, and I’ve loved him ever since! Can’t wait for season 3!!!
I agree about the burnt cousin guy! I kept waiting for him to show up or for some kind of resolution… I’m sure they’re saving it for next season..
I thought Matthew’s proposal was just perfect, very “them”.. I literally screamed when he knelt down… Weirdly, I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I ever saw Mary smile.. lol
Yay for the recap, but even more so, for you getting to catch up on the episodes (mostly because I think all people should watch Downton Abbey all the time)! So, I don’t think there was any big back story between Lord G and Jane the randy housemaid, just some lingering looks initially, then mid-life end-of-war crisis, then Cora leaving him alone for lunch one day. Apparently that’s all it takes to kick off some philanderin’. I do think it was important though, in part, to help resolve Mary’s storyline – would Daddums have ever accepted her getting Pamuked (thanks for that, it’s in the lexicon now) if he hadn’t had his own indiscretion. Guilt taking him down a peg + Sybil defying him = instaforgiveness.
I loved Edith fighting for her man. You know he won’t be able to resist that for long. And Mistah Beeehhhhts really needs a new storyline. Brendan Coyle is such a lovely actor, I think the storyline annoys me most because it gives him so little to do other than act vaguely guilty and saintlike in turns to keep us guessing (like we’d care if he really did off Catherine of Aragon).
You take Thomas, I’ll take Matthew. He may be a bit of a chinless wonder, but those eyes. Swoon. Every. Time.
Thank you for the Catherine of Aragon reference. That made me smile.
“Mistah Beeehhhhts”
LOL!
Oh man. I have GOT to remember not to read these recaps while at work. I’m laughing out loud like a complete moron. Thanks. =)
Uhhh you just described my last two days in this one sentence: “I am on the couch, my computer is in my lap and roasting my thighs, I am surrounded by a pile of Dove dark chocolate wrappers…” Except they were the Dove milk chocolate. Eerie.
Your recaps make my week! Season 3 is far too far away. <3
I do wish Mary acted a little more excited/ surprised/ happy with Matthews proposal. Thanks for all the recaps! See u again next season!
Eek! A good friend of mine hasn’t seen the finale yet. Out of respect for people Tivo-ing and DVR-ing the show, which is likely a lot of your readers, you might want to reconsider the screenshot you use as the photo for your post. This picture gives away a huge, huge part of the finale and my friend was pretty disappointed to visit the Hello Giggles main page & immediately have the show spoiled. She chooses not to read the recaps, naturally, until she has seen the show, but the picture is unavoidable. Just a thought. No hate. I love Hello Giggles!
We changed it
But tell your friend to hurry up and watch – she’s missing out on all the good stuff! 
xo
Ahh, love this show and this post! Season 3 will be EPIC. Waiting, however, will be killer. Here are four other dramas worth watching in the meantime: http://bit.ly/zyLtnX
AH! This post has seriously made my day:) I’ve been waiting for this for a very very long time & it’s finally here and was so worth it! Cannot wait for Season 3 & especially your episode updates. Love them! Hooray for Mary & Matthew. Also, I agree about O’Brian needing a love interest. That would be a hilarious & heart warming story line.
Let me just say that although I agree Daisy is very sweet, she needs to get over the fact that William did something nice for her. That plot line was done two episodes ago, and by this episode, it sounds like she’s whining because someone was nice to her. At this point, I’ll take the pension and let her whine.
I think the writers were starting to realize this, which is why they gave her the story about getting respect and more money. Daisy is the girl who represents teh wave o teh future!
I totally agree. Plus, given the time line, she’s been whinging about marrying him and avoiding his dad for 2 years by the finale! Time to move on and move on up the career ladder, Daisy!
Welcome back! Loved your recap
Seeing Mr. Bates cry in jail nearly broke my heart. I am ready for that storyline to be resolved…it’s too much!
The Servants’ Ball was adorable. I loved seeing the groups mixed together and having a wonderful time together. Carson dancing= the BEST.
I saw on another website that they wished Matthew’s proposal was a little more wordy, I kind of agree. We’d been waiting for this moment (and so had they) so we need some sweet words to really knock it out of the park.
Your GIF at the end fully sums up my emotions as well.