It’s wedding season and it seems like all your pals – Matt & Callie, Christopher & Jake, Melissa & Jenny – are getting married and they’ve invited you to join them in celebrating the happiest day of their lives. You’re obviously happy for them, but you’re single and being single at a wedding just sucks. But fear not, I have your “Single At A Wedding Survival Guide.” It’ll be okay.
Here are my Dos and Don’ts for attending a wedding solo.
DO play catch up! Go see how cousin Bob is doing and go talk to Grandma Maggie, twice removed.
DO look amazing! Yeah, you’re sad and maybe feeling a little sorry for yourself, but that is NO excuse to slack off on your outfit. Who knows what the night will bring?!
DO sign the guestbook and make sure you say congrats to the happy couple.
DO enjoy the food, especially the cake. The bride spends a significant amount of time obsessing over the menu and that includes an afternoon of taste-testing different cakes to find the perfect one. (Where was your invite for THAT special day, right?)
Do flirt! After all, you are single and ready to mingle. Put a smile on your face and interact with your fellow guests. Fake it til you make it. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find yourself a date to the next wedding.
DON’T drink too much! Nobody likes the sloppy, bitter drunk. It’s embarrassing. Plus, some drunk dialing/tweeting could occur that you’ll most likely end up regretting the next day. Not to mention the mean hangover that tags along.
DON’T wear white! Unless, like Kim Kardashian, the bride has given you a strict dress code that allows you to do so.
DON’T dwell on the fact that you’re there alone. It’s never cute to be sour puss about the fact that you don’t have a date.
DON’T make a toast/speech unless asked to. However, if there is a section of the program dedicated to unplanned speeches then go for it but don’t forget to keep it short and sweet.
DON’T pass up the opportunity to relive every cheesy dance routine throughout history with the rest of the guests. Hard to believe the Macarena was actually cool at one point, isn’t it?
And finally, if all else fails, bring a friend. Bring your best girlfriend for moral support. Or bring your best guy friend and in the off-chance you run into an ex, you’ll look fab with some arm candy to boot. That’s what friends are for.
Weddings are wonderful events filled with love, happiness and alcohol. Go forth, armed with new knowledge and enjoy my single friends. I got your back. I mean, isn’t it better to be single together?
And don’t forget, the answer to the question “Do you want to dance?” is always “YES!” Unless it’s the horny underage groomsman, in which case, you stay far, far, away.