DomestiCAITed DomestiCAITed: I'd Rather Botox My Clothes Than Iron Them Caitlin Fitzgibbons

You guys don’t know how frequently this conversation has happened in my life:
Me: What should I wear?
My Mom: (pulls wrinkled dress from closet) How about this? Just press it off a bit.
Me: Oh. I don’t think so.
My Mom: You’re lazy.
Me: No. I don’t have an iron.
My Mom:What do you mean you don’t have an iron?I mean, I don’t have an iron.
Well, I didn’t.

Now, one of my roommates, MK, has one. We’ve been friends forever. We can count it back to like, 4th grade, so I know she’d let me use the iron whenever I wanted but I try to resort to that as little as possible.

I feel extremely awkward ironing. There is so much gear. The board/skinny table is always a challenge to set up. Albeit a small one, but like, how ’bout a little surface area to utilize while battling wrinkles? Also, when I’m standing at an iron twisting and turning my clothes to press little bits at a time, I feel like a 1950s housewife. Not ideal.

Due to my ironing reluctance, I have some DomestiCAITed tips for how to attempt to avoid ironing.

1. Hang wet clothes on hangers to dry.
Gravity is your best friend.The weight of your wet clothes will ideally pull the wrinkles out, saving you from reaching  for the iron.

2. Take a hot shower and hang your clothes in the bathroom to steam.
This one is great. Just turn the shower on hot and hang the garment on a hanger from a towel rack or from the shower rod. This works best for light, silky fabrics. Let them steam for 3-5 minutes and then shake out any remaining wrinkles. Or you could just buy a steamer like my friend did below.
3. Use your hair straightner to get out anything that’s obvious.
This takes a bit of practice but I’ve mastered it. Just heat up a flat iron and run it over any major wrinkles. Be careful not to hold it in one place for too long or you’ll see what happens.
4. Find a friend and pull on either side of a garment until the wrinkles disappear.
This might be too obvious or too ridiculous because it won’t work. However, I’ve included it because I think it would kind of be a fun activity for a couple pals. Someone grabs one side of a dress, someone else grabs the other and then you just pull tug of war style until those wrinkles leave or until your clothes rip. Then you’ve got a bigger problem than ironing – sewing. You know what? Bad idea. Skip this one.
5.Love your wrinkles. Just embrace them. Own them.
Go out into the world and say “Hey, I know you think wrinkles make me look like a slob but I think they make me who I am.” I say it’s all about selling with confidence.
6. Always buy new clothes.
I realize buying new clothes all the time so you never have to iron makes ZERO sense. You’re a wasteful baller if you can do this financially. I’m just saying it’s possible.

7. Only buy wrinkle-free slacks.
If you don’t like to iron, wrinkle-free clothes like the slacks (best word) below from Eddie Bauer are an option. While you may think this is lame, you won’t have to iron these puppies. Additionally, if you fill your entire closet with them,  you’ll be 7 white t-shirts and green sweater vests away from a living Doug Funny-esque wardrobe. DOOOOO IT!

 

8. Stock up on crushed velvet.
This cloth wants to look wrinkled, so it never needs ironing. Plus, like, how luxurious and figure skater/gymnast-esque is crushed velvet? We should all invest before it becomes majorly popular again.

9. Botox Your Wrinkles.
Okay, so I know you can’t actually Botox your clothes…yet. All I know is that if Tide can develop a miracle called the Tide-To-Go pen, then maybe Tide Botox isn’t far behind. Just picture the ease and satisfaction of taking a branded syringe and injecting Botox into your clothes. They’d leave them wrinkle free for dayz. Maybe forever.

10. Iron.
I’m sorry if it gets to this point. Probably means you have an interview at a bank or maybe you’re getting married and your wedding dress is wrinkled. I don’t even think ironing a wedding dress is allowed, but I know that wrinkles aren’t tolerated on wedding days, unless you get a crushed velvet wedding dress.

Let me know if you have any go to moves for iron evasion. I’d love to try them/hear about them!

Love,
Fitz

comments

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  1. I DETEST ironing too. I haven’t ironed in years actually. In college, I discovered this AMAZING product called Downy Wrinkle Spray and I have used it ever since. Just a few quick sprays, smooth away the wrinkles, and you are out the door. Give it a try. You will never go back!

  2. For light fabrics, I can usually manage to get out the wrinkles with by spritzing with a little bit of water and then grabbing my blow-dryer. Otherwise they just land up going through the dryer again. However, I recently found out that one of my besties is an ironing master, so I may just start casually bringing my wrinkled clothes over to his house…….

  3. When I was little, I got a toy iron for a birthday present and turned to my mom and asked, ‘What’s this?’ Apparently it’s genetic. Neither of us iron. Downy wrinkle-release is the best, slightly beating out my second favorite option ‘not caring’

  4. Sneak your clothes into your mom’s “To Iron” pile.

  5. i just use any type of febreese and gently pull on it and they come right out! I havent ironed in YEARS

  6. I used to, when I actually had a dryer in my home, just throw them in the dryer for 10-15 minutes. this generally removes any and all wrinkles from things that aren’t supposed to have wrinkles in them and requires none of the effort that ironing does! Your clothes aren’t wet so they shouldn’t shrink, even if they are the shrinking kind of clothes, and you get the lazy satisfaction of tossing them, slamming a door and pushing a button!

  7. “Probably means you have an interview at a bank or are getting married..” HAHAHA! I LOVE YOU! This is just great! I feel like maybe we share this part of our brain :) Great read girlfriend!

  8. story. of. my. life. I’m gonna try #2 right after I click post on this comment. I usually hang/fold my clothes fresh out of the drier and it usually works but sometimes there’s a shirt or two that act like bitches and then I set them aside to iron them but never do so eventually I’ll throw them in the laundry sack again and hope they act nice.

  9. (1) washcloth slightly damp
    (1) garment needing to be de-wrinklefied
    (10) minutes
    (1) clothes dryer
    Mix well first three ingredients in said dryer. VOILA!!!

  10. Okay…sprinkle said/desired clothing with water, like all over. It should be damp. Toss in the dryer for 11 minutes…voila…a decent look.

  11. This works for any light weight cotton, and especially well for jersey materials:
    Step 1 – Hang item from shower curtain rod or something of this nature.
    Step 2 – Spritz clothing with water, tap is fine.
    Step 3 – Blow dry item while gently pulling out the wrinkles.
    Step 4 – Proudly wear non-ironed, unwrinkled clothing!
    Thanks to my BFF Lauren for sharing this with me! Love this method!

  12. i usually just own my wrinkles. my ass is entirely too lazy to iron and i don’t even think i know how to. besides, after wearing the shirt for a bit, the wrinkles go away! :)

  13. STOP IT I’M DYING. This is SO my life.

    Filleosophy | 9/06/2011 07:09 am
  14. Try hanging or folding your clothes when they’re fresh out of the dryer. Usually they are hot enough so that the wrinkles have not set in yet. Personally, I love ironing. So as a solution to YOUR ironing, everyone, send me your clothes and I’ll iron them for you! Preferably sizes 2-4 please. Don’t worry I’ll TOTALLY send them back.

    • Ok. This makes sense to me. However, I usually leave my clothes in the dryer for 6 hours before I attempt to fold. BTW – I’m super tempted to send you my clothes to iron, but won’t be tricked by this laundering scheme.

  15. 1, 3, and 5. the glamourous life of a college student.

  16. My mom swears by wrinkle release spray. Downy and I think Febreeze each have a version, but Dollar General has their own generic version tha works just as good for about 1/3 the cost. It also doubles as a fabric refreshener :D

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