Champagne Problems

Do You Have a Bad Temper? Let's Squash It!

It’s that time of year again! Count-to-ten-and-drink-some-lemonade-till-you-chill-out time of year! I mean, there really isn’t a designated time of year for something like this, but for sure you should have one dedicated to you and those around you to take a moment and look deep into yourself (gross) and see if you need a temper check.

So, do you? Do you?! (See what I did there?) I think this is the perfect season for a temper check because the weather is getting nice, you are not so gloomy eating ice cream in your sweatpants all alone ‘n’ junk and, to boot, you are out and about prepping for summer activities all the while meeting new people. What can new people and new experience spark? Either good or bad! What does bad spark? Tempers!

Now, here is where Temper Check comes in. Are you quick to flip out? Is your only tactic to yell, scream and text mean things? Are you resorting to holding it all in until you explode on stage in front of strangers? Eh hm… Then you need a temper check. Here’s what I’ve found in my years of unraveling the puzzling question that is “me.” I am not some girl that wears pretty polka dots, plays the cello and keeps her opinions to herself. I am just not. I don’t think I could have ever been with the ghetto Pittsburgh background that I had. But there are moments in my independent fits of “I am woman, hear me roar” where I want to pull my own hair out at the thought of handling rude people in a mature way. But that is what society expects of you – maturity. Like, when you ask people “not to talk to you that way” – that shows maturity. What doesn’t show maturity is running away because you can’t take the presh anymore.

So, you must must must maintain your cool, calm and collected self because otherwise, the tabloids and those around will think you are crazy, right? Well, today I say: Forget that, yo. Take back the night and drink up these traditional tips for cooling your temper with a modern day twist.

1. Ice cold glass of wine… on the person’s head

2. Counting to ten…then stepping on their pinky toe

3. Breathing…on the person after you’ve eaten garlic

4. Walking away…then running back up quickly and scaring them

5. Take a nap…with the person against their will

Ya see? The tactics are solid and just a little tweak on advice you already know. Happy temper-taming month!
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Photo by shutterstock; Alice Dison

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