I love these women smiling gracefully from the pages of the glossy magazines. They have smooth white teeth, perfect makeup, no wrinkles, and shiny, flawlessly-coiffured hair – not one strand out of place. They don’t have cellulite; they eat healthy food and stay thin. They wear expensive designer dresses, luxurious Van Cleef and Arpels diamonds, and the signature red soled Louboutins.
They lean on their designer pillows carefully placed in their elegant interiors, without any speck of dust and the nearby tables are topped with impeccable vases holding beautiful bouquets of roses. Blissful sunlight streams through their windows. It’s Heaven and I want some of it!
For a moment I want to become one of these women as I don’t have diamonds, I don’t put on makeup, I don’t have nail extensions, and my neighbor from above cooks food for her cats, the nauseating odor from which permeates my entire flat, and looking out my window I can see the police station with another fight between the prostitutes, drug addicts and drunken teenagers.
For just a split second I want to become the woman who smiles at me from the pages of the glossies. I start wishing to have this perfect nose, these long legs, these miniature wrists… Okay, let me confess – I am not perfect, I have a disproportionate nose, I am only 165 centimeters tall, I don’t do manicure at times, my hair is not perfect when it’s not washed for 2 days, and my legs are bitten by mosquitoes.
While looking at this perfect picture on page 256, I start realizing that this is not me and this is not who I want to be. I want to be myself, I want to be real and live in a real world. I want to allow myself to eat in bed, drink juice straight out of can, wear my pajama with cherries and hearts on it all day long, get my heels broken at the most inappropriate moment, accidentally wear my t-shirt back to front, eat my occasional burger at McDonald’s, spoil Maple Creme Brulee I decided to cook after reading Better Homes and Gardens and spill a coffee on my new skirt.
It’s so easy to be carried away by the power of glossies. It makes us less confident, more critical of ourselves than we used to be before we got the latest issue of our Vogues. A girl with bad self esteem can become a slave, a hostage of this fake, fictitious world. It is so easy to turn into a beautiful soulless doll. And what’s more obvious, is that it’s easy to believe this world exists! You can always look up the details given at the bottom of the page for where this or that chic designer dress is available. It seems to be so simple – you bought everything the woman is wearing and you think you can become happier. But don’t lie to yourself; you just bought a beautiful dream.
Don’t get me wrong. I want to have a beautiful life too. I want to live in a house designed by Rem Koolhaas. As every woman I secretly wish to own a Chanel 2.55 bag, and sometimes Louboutins take my breath away too. Women like to dress up, which is great! But what’s more important is not to lose your beautiful soul. Don’t forget who you are and where you are from. Don’t exchange the warmth of your heart for the glitter of silk and diamonds. Be in harmony with yourself and the world around you.
Every time I go out wearing a fancy dress and statement heels, I know I’ll eventually be back at home wearing my cherry-hearted pajamas, watching an old French movie and eating a cheese sandwich on the bed.
by Kamola Atajanova