Champagne Problems

Do dudes have dealbreakers?

Do dudes have a laundry list of turn offs the way chickadees do? I’m asking for a friend – JK. I’m the friend. I mean, I’m me (your friend). And I am genuinely curious if men have a list at all when it comes to what is unappealing about a women when you are dating them. Why I say that is because I find myself and other chickadees naming about a billion deal breakers about a guy at every turn and most times, men will have one or two, maybe. So I need to know, guys. GUYS! Are you out there? What are your deal breakers? You can tell me, I’m great at secrets. Is it a talkative chick (gulp), a confident chick (double gulp, sorta?) or maybe it’s that I wear those weird, ugly shoes you hate? (Triple gulp. And that’s rude.)

All I know is, things like not opening the door for a girl and letting her split the tab with you are becoming way too present in the world of dating. I’m sorry, man – I throw my card down on dates one through three to be polite, and what you are supposed to do if you ever plan on seeing my special spot is politely say, “Thank you but I’ve got this.” Not all the time, but in the beginning stages. Yes, please. And, if you can’t do that then you need to come up some creative/free way to court a dame. Somewhere, somebody’s dad is slipping up on guiding their little slugger through the world of mating.

Women don’t need much and if they do, it’s because you are attracted to a woman that does. In Los Angeles, we fight the good fight and settle left and right out of fear of being an opossum lady (that’s the new cat lady).  But let’s go ahead and make list now of what exactly are some top “please, please do” in the twilight zone that is dating.

1. Pick me up (in a car, not on a bicycle, please lord).
2. Pay for the first couple of courting sessions (ie: never let her split the tab).
3. Be sweet and responsive and real. (None of this vague communication nonsense. Who has the time, weirdo?!)
4. You can’t text for 5 days straight then go radio silent, it’s confusing.
5. If you’re dating other people, that’s cool, but don’t treat some great and others like poop.
6. Be a man. A real man that’s confident and kind (like Channing Tatum in Step Up).

See ya!


Image via Maker Studios

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