From Our Readers

Dermatology Secrets Revealed!

According to the media, we’re obsessed with our skin. Every time I turn on the TV, it tells me  that Kim Kardashian and Katy Perry use Pro-Activ and that Justin Bieber actually is Pro-Activ.

But if acne isn’t a problem, then wrinkles are most likely ruining your face, so magazines and commercials recommend anti-aging cream, regenerating ointment and Gwyneth Paltrow lotion (now with extra Halle Berry Crystals).

Not everyone can afford products, facials or doctor’s appointments. Luckily for those people, someone raided the dermatologists’ locker room to steal their secrets.

I haven’t actually read the classified documents, but based on the pictures, I can tell you how to have the skin you’ve always dreamed of.

Tip #1: Stand in front of a mirror, close your right eye and let your mouth hang open. Be as still as possible. Eventually, the left side of your face will look younger. Now close the left eye and watch your right side transform. Expect alternating results over time.

Tip #2: The best way to get rid of acne is to just shave it off. A straight razor works best, but if you must use a disposable or electric shaver, that’s okay too. Expect results immediately.

Tip #3: Before you go to sleep, stick an egg in your mouth. When you wake up in the morning, your wrinkles will be gone. Your pillow will also be covered in yolk.

by Tia Ayers