I’m not sure if you ever got my last bit of correspondence. I posted it on the Internet so I know tons of strangers saw it, but strangely, I never heard back from you directly. Perhaps I was too overwhelming in my praise. Maybe I was too verbose. I suppose it’s possible you never read it, but you said something this week that seemed a direct reply to the very first thing that was in my note.
See, in my original letter, I started off by saying: “You have to stop. Just stop. It’s getting to be too much.”
And I’m worried you stopped reading right there and didn’t get to the part where I took it all back because you told the Associated Press this week that you were going to take a long break from acting.
Okay, just to be clear, that was not at all what I wanted you to do. I wanted you to stop creeping into my mind in the last moments before I fall asleep. I wanted you to stop being so gallant that Prince Charming looked like a creep next to you. I wanted you to just chill out a bit, you know? Like, clearly being as perfect as you are takes some sort of focus. At the very least, constantly focusing on your perfection tires me out.
I never, ever asked you to stop acting.
Here are three very serious reasons why you can’t skip out on being a movie star right now:
1) The last thing we need is a “break” from you.
Your exact words to the Associated Press were, “I need a break from myself as much as I imagine the audience does.” And while I totally get that it must be draining stopping fights in the middle of the street and hanging out with your mom on red carpets and being the epitome of class…someone has to do it.
You’re like Frodo in The Lord of the Rings, but instead of a ring you’ve got to destroy at Mount Doom, you’ve been given the burden of being the greatest person alive. We’ve been through this before, but do you get how perfect you are? You’re gorgeous. You’re talented. You’re kind. You like women as people and not as objects. This is your burden to carry alone, but we all want to help you. We’re like the Fellowship of the Ring, but we’re the “fans of Ryan Gosling”. How many of us are there? A lot, because EVERYONE IS A FAN OF YOU, RYAN GOSLING.
2) We are also very big fans of your dog.
When you step out to promote a new movie, you usually bring your dog, George with you. Now, George is as perfect a dog as you are a human being.
George has a mohawk. George has a happy face. George will sit at your feet while you get interviewed by Jimmy Fallon.
George is the best.
If you stop acting, we’ll stop seeing George. The way you love George is the way we love George which is the way we love you so love yourself the way you love George.
Don’t hide your light. Let it shine.
3) You make really interesting choices and that’s important.
We live in a world where most people want to be famous for no good reason. Forget being known for doing good work. People want to be famous for being on a reality show or starring in a sex tape or for just showing up to parties a lot. But not you.
You’re not in it for the limelight–or the money. Like, you started out on The Mickey Mouse Club with Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, but unlike them you shied away from being a pop star or taking endorsement deals for massive amounts of press and money. You dug into indies and you’ve stayed in indies. You don’t go on the audition circuit hoping to get picked for a blockbuster film; you choose the projects you feel passionate about.
This means that when you are in a movie, the audience knows that no matter what, it will be a different kind of movie that we’d see otherwise. If you take a break from acting, how will we know what kind of cool stories are out there for us outside of the mainstream?
Oh. You’re taking a break from acting to be a director? Oh. That’s actually super awesome. I am excited. Oh God, you’re still so perfect. Why? WHY?
Okay, you know what? Disregard everything I just wrote. You’re doing fine. We’re still going to have you hanging around.
Just please don’t stop being you. Keep being you. Always be you.
(Oh, and please let us see George more often.)