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Dating Like A Dude

I hate to sound like “that girl” but I have always had a pretty solid group of guy friends. Not because of the varied cliches – “Girls are just so dramatic and catty… so I stay away”, “I just get along with guys better” yadda yadda yadda – but more just because I have an uncontrollable vibe of sarcasm that seems to work well in friendships with dudes. Over these years of putting up with the dirty jokes and endless hours of sporting events I barely care about, I have gotten to know the male mind a little more than your average girl and you better believe I have used these nuggets of insight for my love life’s greater good.

I have subconsciously learned from my male comrades, some of the most important do’s and don’ts of dating. While I’m not yet happily married to the man of my dreams (cough cough Nick Jonas) so I can’t prove these tips to have unshakeable accuracy. However, I have dodged my fair share of players and jerks. Sure, some slip through the cracks but I’ve successfully avoided your average amount of heartbreak.

What’s my secret? Date like a dude! Now you’re probably thinking “But how do I do that? I’m but a fragile young lady!” Well look no further. Here are my brotastic tips on how to avoid heartbreak.

•  Don’t over-analyze. Being over-analytical leads to unnecessary stress. Unnecessary stress leads to breakdowns and breakouts. I guarantee your guy isn’t thinking more than 5 minutes over what to wear on your date and he’s definitely not trying to decode what you meant by the wording in your text. Why should you spend 20 minutes writing a text that he won’t think twice about? It’s not worth your time. Keep it simple.

•  Be confident. Guys get sick of you fishing for compliments all the time. Heck, anyone gets sick of you fishing for compliments all the time. Confidence (but not cockiness) is key. In related news, be a little weird. Don’t hide your quirks, rock them. It’s always attractive when someone’s comfortable in their own skin and owns who they are. Even if that means dancing in the car to One Direction or occasionally talking in a British accent.

•  Take control. A self-assured guy who knows what he wants is super endearing. Show him that you can be decisive and can wear the pants in the relationship every once in awhile. As long as the pants are well-fitting and trendy, of course.

•  Value your independence! Neediness is my number one pet peeve in a potential suitor. Show him that you can do stuff on your own. If he wants to have a night with the guys, have a night with your girls. Then watch the clip of “You Don’t Own Me” from The First Wives Club and be on your own merry way!

•  Don’t be a princess. If you put yourself on a pedestal, you’re just waiting to be dethroned.

•  Give him some space. Don’t make yourself so readily available and eager at his every beck and call. Texting and calling him excessively while you’re apart is a definite turn-off. Also, take it easy with the smiley faces and exclamation points ‘cause nothing says desperation like THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

•  Don’t act dumb. You don’t like ditzy guys… so don’t dumb down for him. Every girl should know by now that playing dumb is frankly beyond annoying for everyone involved and will get you nowhere but in his secret “idiot” category in his mental file cabinet.

•  Chill out on the jealousy. Don’t go postal every time he looks at another girl. Granted, if his shirt is soaked from drooling over other girls you’ve got a problem. Honestly, he shouldn’t be looking at other girls but give the guy some slack! He’s human and so are you. Let’s get real, you didn’t see Magic Mike for it’s incredible plot and emotional depth.

•  Try to be interested in what he’s interested in. Watching football and fishing is actually fun if you step away from the Gossip Girl every once in awhile so don’t keep whining if he wants you to take part of something he likes to do. Try to give it a chance. Also, don’t be afraid to order a cheeseburger and fries with him every once in awhile.

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  • Clau Piña

    Common sense 101. Loved it.

  • Elizabeth Craig

    Gosh dang I needed this about two months ago. Although deep down we all know this stuff it just doesn’t apply to our brains when were love sick. It’s sad and depressing but even the strongest of women (like me) in every other aspect of our lives, can falter and stumble around a cute boy…and especially in my case, one who DOESN’T appear to like me. FML.
    It’s bonkers really, but at least these points do work well retrospectively. I get better as I get older… friends may disagree after having to sit and listen to me moan. One day we will get it right….but there’s part of me that wonders “where’s the fun in that?” ;-p

    • Molly Slicker

      Elizabeth, we’ve all been there. As much as I try to make sense of it and I think I get a grasp on it, I find myself stumbling around too! One day it’ll all make sense.. or at least make sense enough! :)

  • Hans Johan Svensson

    Yeah! chill!
    Life will end, hopefully by old age – but probably not right now. I belive you have plenty of time.

  • Faby Hernandez

    all this, i tell my friends, especially the first point , guys dont see why the simple OK , is leave alone, i dont want you , anyway you are so right , and they need there time, even when it means he wants to play 3 days with his xbox

    • Molly Slicker

      Amen! ‘Cause somedays I just need my own time to read for 3 days, too. :)

  • Jennifer Dinsmore

    Great article! I feel like I always knew some of this stuff (it drove me crazy when my friends with boyfriends would get upset about “boys night” but since I was the perpetual single one, I just didn’t “get it”), so its nice to see it on here.
    Also some really good reminders too: “Don’t Over Analyze” is something I am still guilty of doing… especially when the going is a little rough.

    • Molly Slicker

      Thank you! I definitely catch myself over-analyzing a bit too much, too. It’s hard not to when some men can be so seemingly cryptic when really a lot of the time they’re just being normal! Glad you could relate!

  • Pau Li Ne

    true story!

  • Cheyenne McIntosh

    This plays on so many gender stereotypes. I’m legitimately offended. We’re women so that means we are automatically clingy and we have to “try to like what men like…” Are you kidding me? There are seriously so many things wrong with this article that I can’t even type them out in one comment.

    • Andie Cleary

      I totally agree, this isn’t the usual HG content. I’m very surprised at how misogynistic this is.

    • Molly Slicker

      Hi Cheyenne and Andie, I am sorry you were offended at this article. I myself do not follow the “automatically clingy” or any of the stereotypes I used. I actually wrote this to poke fun at the gender stereotypes and cliches in relationships while tying in things I’ve heard my male friends complain about. I honestly was being sarcastic and truly feel bad if you took it as misogyny. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I will be clearer next time!

  • Emily Fister

    I will not date like a dude.
    And I most definitely will not date like a girl.
    I will date like a woman and avoid all of this advice.

  • Andie Cleary

    Come on Hello Giggles you can do better than this misogyny.

  • Gorgan Amir Ezadi

    Wasn’t this entire article facetious? I was rofling! Some people so touchy!

    • Molly Slicker

      Why yes it was! Thank you for noticing!

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