Damn you, ‘Toy Story 3′
by Shane Nickerson
A few weeks ago, the day before their first day of school (THANK THE MERCIFUL GODS), my wife and I surrendered to the gloomy morning weather and let the kids watch Toy Story 3 for the 50th time. It was a long, hot summer and she and I were both at the end of our ropes (nooses?) trying to fill their days with fun activities. The kids were restless, bored, getting on each other’s nerves and ready to go back to a school schedule. Related: we were also restless, bored, getting on each other’s nerves and so ready for them to go back to a school schedule. SO READY. Anyway, after all of the annoying previews (don’t get me started on how much I loathe previews on kids DVD’s), I once again got sucked into Toy Story 3. Within a few minutes, I was focusing all my energy on not crying. I’m not talking about feeling misty-eyed or choked up, I’m talking about focusing every ounce of energy I could find into not collapsing into heaving sobs of dark, depressing sadness. It gets me, Toy Story 3. It gets me every time.
Lately, stuff on TV has been getting me:
- That car commercial where the dad is telling the little girl how to drive and then all of a sudden she’s a teenager.
- The Google Chrome commercial where the dad is sending emails and movies to his baby girl for when she grows up.
- The Chevy Camaro commercial where an old couple turns back into a young couple.
- And of course, any of the damn Toy Story movies.
The point is, even the suggestion of time passage or years going by or “kids growing up before you know it” is apparently my kryptonite (which is cool, because the important takeaway here is that I am clearly Superman). I am hopeless against any kind of reminder that we are all getting older and that things will never be like they are now. Time moving swiftly on depresses me, in spite of my ability to understand its importance and necessity.
Anyway, I sat there choking back all emotion during the scene in Toy Story 3 when Andy is packing for college and the mom walks in to see his empty room (and holy CRAP that’s going to be us someday), when I considered the possibility of just shifting my perception. Instead of lamenting years or hours gone, perhaps I could look ahead and open myself to the coming onslaught of “bigger kid parenting,” I thought. Maybe coaching a daughter through a breakup won’t be so bad! Maybe explaining to my son that there is actually no known solution to the eternal problem of trying to understand girls will be a bonding moment! Maybe I can be a forward thinking dad that embraces each new stage with not an ounce of the “awww…I remember when you were a little tiny baby and…” speech; with a knowing wisdom that embraces each new moment with grace and serenity.
Dammit, it’s impossible. Even now, I’m imagining 8-year-old Lucy as a little tiny baby just because I wrote a sentence about it two sentences ago. I suppose I’m doomed to miss years past, hours past and ages past. It’s how I’m wired.
Toy Story 3 ends with the coup de grace scene designed to finish off any parents not yet weeping at their own future, present or past (depending on their kids ages). It’s Andy driving off to college, his favorite toys safely in the hands of a little neighborhood girl who will certainly play with them for many years to come, ensuring the toys another lifetime of love.
Awwww.
Andy, on the other hand, probably hasn’t been drunk yet. He hasn’t smoked out of an old beer can. He hasn’t made pizza his bitch for like a month straight until all the summer job money was gone. Andy’s on a new road to a different place: college. Andy’s about to go hog wild.
Of course, I know they have to get older. I know I can’t stop time or halt their maturing minds or prevent them from learning how to read so that they can never find my tweets. I know this, but that doesn’t help me deal with it. There’s so much ahead of them that’s infinitely more complicated than what’s behind them. I wish there was a way that I could save them all the pain it will take to navigate through it. I know, I know.
Since I can’t, I’ll practice choking back tears during car commercials and Pixar movies so I’m ready for later on, when they move out of the house, start their own lives, and spend the occasional late night writing nostalgic and meandering articles about their own children and how quickly they grow.
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09.29.2011 |
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Aww that’s so sweet! I think you’ll be doing a great job as a father if you think like this, really. I’ll show this to my parents (well, the Spanish translation!) , since they’re now in that stage of having only one daughter, who’s 18 now and just about to move out of the house…
I cried with Toy Story 3, too. I cried with every Toy Story film, even when I didn’t like the 2! The hardest Pixar movie for me was Wall-E; but I cried with Up! too and well… I cry a lot with movies and commercials.
just reading the list of the commercials gave me chills! I have the same problem and I don’t even have kids yet…what gets me is UP (cried like a baby hours after it was over), and the GE commercial where the husband looks back on his life with his wife.
Loved this.
oh man, now I’m watching the commercials and crying like there’s no tomorrow! Toy Story 3 gets me every time. when I told my mom that I cried during the movie, she just laughed at me. guess she’s over having a kid already in college, but I can’t help that I grew up at the same time as Andy. actually, I’ve probably cried during every Pixar movie. like in Monsters Inc. when Sully leaves Boo in her room and she opens her closet door thinking he’ll be there. THE WORST.
this is a phenomenal article! I’m sure your children will grow up to be awesome if they’re watching Toy Story 3 50 billion times.
i totally agree!! the minute any of those animated movies come out i think, that looks awesome but i know within 20 minutes of the movie i will be sobbing. pass. scared to see what will happen when i have kiddos.
Shane, I always love reading your work! Reading your articles are what got me hooked to hellogiggles so thank you for that. I don’t have kids of my own yet but I can completely sympathize about Toy Story 3. The ending always kills me, probably from my own feelings of not wanting to grow up just yet. I can imagine that that feeling only gets worse once you do have kids. Thank you for all of your eloquent insight, can’t wait to read more from you!
Thanks, Lucy!
I love your article, well all of them actually. They’re always so sweet and basically the way i feel about my son..he loves all 3movies, for a whole year all we bought him was woody and buzz items. How i cried at the movie theater watching andy all grown up, id look at the screen andthen my son. I came out of there hugging onto him for dear life, evem now just at home ill catch myself staring at him thinking how i brought him home from the hospital and noe hes a toddler who can barely sit still…im happy to know im not the only that comes to tears with all those nostalgic commercials, man they can really get you, right?…thanks for your articles you really express the way i feel for my own child, i enjoy reading them.
Damn you for mentioning the Dad and daughter commercial. Suck it Subaru. Damn them all for playing off my super human empathy powers.
AWW!! you’re number 1!
If it makes you feel any better, I’m the kid who grew up and moved out (and then moved across the country), and I still bawled like a baby when I watched this movie. And I don’t even have children yet. Your kids may be too young to understand the whole nostalgia thing right now, but my bet is someday when they’re older, they’ll watch Toy Story 3 or another movie like it, and they’ll find themselves getting a lil’ weepy eyed. That damn movie. I knew it was going to make me cry, but I watched it anyway. And then I had to go up into the attic at my parents’ house and clean out/toss/give all of my toys away before I moved away. Bad timing. Loooong story short: I feel your pain, brotha.
That Google commercial makes me wish I had done that! Maybe with the next kid. But then Baby 1 might be jealous…
ok, now you just made me cry!
I can say without question that the car commercial with the father and daughter makes my dad smile every single time.
I just recently had to pack up my 5 month olds new born clothes yesterday and nearly had to be dragged to the psyche ward because of the cruel reality that time has no sympathy on us humans. Now I know why a good majority of old people are senile and bitter… Because now all they have are photos and videos to give them some grasp of yesterday while their kids are of experiencing their glory days..Watch this if you really want to feel sorry for yourself..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0
Oh man. That is so good. So true and so well done.
My father MOURNED when we all hit puberty and became aliens – or possessed people (depending on the day), but now that we are all in adulthood (some of us in our 40s!!) he says he never could have imagined how much joy he would get from interacting with us as adults. He says that all the things he loved in us as little kids is still there in our personalities and the bonus – grandchildren! I guess what I’m saying is, ‘the best is yet to come’, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love the ride you’re in (and love it while they’re young as there are a lot of miles in the teenage highway that are pretty hard to enjoy… got two of them at the moment.. and a stomach ulcer.) All the best to you and your little family ; )
That sentimental music they play during the intro and credits…. killer.
Dads like you should be commended. Love, Me (who was raised by a single mom)
P.S. I am so not discrediting my Mom ’cause she obviously the BEST but it just makes me happy knowing that there are responsible guys out there. It puts my faith back to humanity. So yeah, Broadway slow clap for you.
i grew up on disney films, but my husband did not. so we rented UP a couple months ago. about 2minutes in i am weeping and he looks horrified. as i ran for a tissue, he calls after me, ‘Are they ALL like this?!’
yes. of course they are. good luck hiding your tissues from the kids!
Damn you for making me cry!!! I didn’t realize so many other dad’s were like this too…
Is it strange that I have all those same reactions to things even though I don’t have kids. It might just because I’m a woman…Disney commercials also make me cry. When the kids find out they’re going to Disney World and they’re so damn happy and then they show them all happy in the park together. This article should’ve been title, “Damn you Disney” because The Lion King still makes me sob like a little girl.
My son loves Toy Story – we have 1 and 2 just about memorized at this point. I watched 3 with him just once and as soon as I could stand up again (it had render me into a weepy little ball of mush) I promptly hid it behind the rest of the movies, not to be watched until I can handle it again. Maybe in 30 or 40 years?
This reminds me why your blog inspired me to start blogging 1000+ posts, and more years than we probably want to admit ago.
-ps It almost makes me feel bad for beating you in fantasy football this week,
I’m only 21 years old and this movie was the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life! I watched it with my best friend one night. We sobbed, we boo hoo-ed, there were no more tears. From the moment he started packing for college til he left, I was devastated!