Crushing On Conan O’Brien

“I love him. I really do. And given the opportunity… yes, I would have his babies.”

Much as I’d like to (no, make that love to) I can’t attribute that quote as having been something that ever came out of my mouth. It’s actually a little something that Emma Stone said in the movie Crazy Stupid Love. The moment I heard Emma say that line for the first time I mouthed, “Thank you” from my seat at the movies. And also “Yessssss!” Because back in the high school trig class daydreaming day, I totally had my fair share of these kinds of daydreams revolving around my favorite ginger and I knew I couldn’t be the only girl having them either.

Conan O’Brien. This is a crush that I’ve had since middle school, when I used to stay up to watch Late Night with Conan O’Brien on school nights. I lived for that show. I taped my favorite celebrity guests on a blank VHS tape, would wake my little brother up to watch with me on the nights that the Walker: Texas Ranger lever was brought out and started shrieking with delight the minute it was time for New State Quarters, Cactus Chef Playing ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ on a Flute, or Conan Sings a Lullaby. Around that same time, I found out that Conan was once a writer for The Simpsons. Having been an avid Simpsons fan in grade school, I rewatched every episode he wrote and cherished them even more, knowing he had wielded a pen connected to the funny bone in every JubJub mention.

This man, I swear.

In my eyes, Conan O’Brien is the complete package when it comes to men. He’s smart, funny and down to earth. He also has a tremendous appetite for working hard and still staying grounded in the process and is super duper tall, a plus as I am on the short side. I have a firsthand account of just how tall he is because I’ve sat in the audience for his shows not once but twice (the first time for The Tonight Show and the second earlier this year for Conan on TBS).

He got even taller to me with the way that he handled everything that happened when The Tonight Show fell apart. “Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.” And while I sat there in my college dorm and watched him speak this raw truth with tears falling from my eyes, I knew even then, even in this dark time, that he would be alright. Because anyone who follows these rules really does okay and to that end, they’re even better off than they thought they’d be, too.

So whenever anyone asks me who inspires me, I tell them Conan O’Brien because of his drive and strong work ethic. Whenever I get asked the one celebrity, I’d like to go out to lunch with, it’s always Conan, mostly because I like lunching with people who laugh and are unafraid to try new sandwich places. I grew up on this wily guy with the shock of red floppy hair and there’s no doubt in my mind I won’t continue to laugh and smile at all of his jokes both in the present and for future years to come.

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