HOW TOs Confessions of a Wannabe Party Girl Alexandra

For as long as I can remember, I have wished that I enjoyed going out. From this, it is fair to infer that I generally do not like going out. I enjoy being out, doing things and seeing people but only once I am there. Getting there is the problem. My couch and Lululemon Still pants have a rapturous siren song that hold me in chains of bliss. So does streaming Netflix… and books… and studying… and not being outside. But let’s be real. Life must be lived out in the world despite the powers of the Internet and the comforts of home to resemble a full life. To ensure that I have adequate amounts of real world fun, I have come up with some basic rules for myself that have been doing me right for some time now. Whoa, whoa… Not Real World kind of fun; just plain real world. I’m no strumpet!

1. Always go out when you feel like it won’t be fun.

This can be a tough call. I will qualify this by saying listen to your gut instinct if you think you will be murdered or experience something equally horrifying, like catching the guy you were dating wearing a thumb ring and picking up chicks. That said, if you the just think the night is going to be boring and a waste of your time, go for it! I have had my best times when the expectations were low. The unplanned un-hyped evenings quite often are the most delightful. Examine your going out history- when was the last time that “it’s going to be epic” night actually was?

2. Don’t bail on your friends.

I know this seems like a given, but I have had to learn it. People invite you to do things because they want you there. It’s easy to think they won’t notice if you aren’t there but they do. They also notice if you are there and it means something! Think how excited you are to see a friend who you rarely see out. Your friends love you and they love being with you, so be a friend back! If you are like me, you might get discouraged and feel awkward with people sometimes… But practice makes perfect. The more you hang, the more natural and fun it gets. Every time you see people, you will have more and more to talk about.

3. Go home when you are still having fun.

This is a new-ish rule but so far, so good. I like to leave at the peak of fun, before things fizzle out and get awkward. You go home really jazzed about going out and excited to do it again. This is positive reinforcement, ladies and gentlemen. Train hard!

4. Nothing good happens after 2 am.

This relates to number 3 but I feel more strongly about sticking to this rule. This is the final frontier. If the fun peak isn’t reached until late, I like to have a personal curfew. Granted, I am a bit of a little old lady but I can’t recall being thankful I ever stayed out past 2 am. This is the witching hour, when bad decisions are made, fights are picked, stupid things are said and even stupider things are done. The exception, of course, is a sleepover, a dinner party or a game night at someone’s home. Also, you can set the time later if it fits your life better, the point is just setting a limit.

5. You don’t look pretty if you are cold or your feet hurt.

I have to give credit to Shirley, my wise and classy grandmother, for this one. As much as I feel like a little frump ball next to those sexily clad bronzed ladies in crazy hot high shoes, at the end of the night I win by walking with proper posture and no limp. Being chilly with blistered achy feet gives a very distinct, hunched limp that is not cute. Please throw this rule out if you have car service, valet or simply won’t need to walk much. In any such case, you better work it. I’ll be pissed if you’re in flats.

6. Drink to enjoy it, not to regret it.

Sure, we all like a nice adult beverage, sugary soda or caffeine. But you can never go wrong with moderation. Never have I looked back and thought, “Zut alors! I wish I had been more wasted/sugar buzzed/hyper-caffeinated”. I can’t say I’ve never wished the opposite. Be present in the moment, make the memories and enjoy the times you are having. You can always drink again.

7. Vary your going out crowd.

Variety is the something… of life… I can’t bring myself to write the old cliché or adage or whatever it is. But mix it up! Going out with the same crowd is awesome, we all love our BFFs. However, it is also great to give things a rest to keep things fresh and to make time for other people that you might find quite splendid. I have always hung out in a bunch of different groups and it exposes me to a huge variety of people, senses of humor, activities, even clothing. I love seeing my different sides come out with my different groups of friends. Bonus points: Drama is less likely to simmer up when you have little breaks, and you always appreciate your friends.

Okay. There you have it! Now step away from that SVU episode, get out of the sweats, swipe on some lipstick, make your mirror face and find something spontaneous to do with a Bestie! I have to give myself the same pep talk now. Say it with me, “going out is fun”. I usually say it like that, sans exclamation point, until I actually get out. Then the exclamation points fly! Oh, and don’t forget a jacket!

Image via slow motion crawl

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  1. this is exactly my life too. I need to learn to party. I’m the lamest 23 year old I know and I often feel like I hardly have any friends just because it’s my own fault for staying home alone. MUST CHANGE.

  2. From this post and from your other posts, I’ve reached the conclusion that you and I are the same person.

  3. the story of my life! also I need to figure out a way to hang out with everyone equally…

  4. Love this! I love the idea of going out more than actually going out sometimes! The 2am rule is right on! xx

  5. Being a little old lady in lululemon myself (not actually old, just sleep-schedule wise) I fully agree with everything said!

  6. I need to print several copies of this and post it up around my apartment. Thanks for this!!

  7. Geesh, you spend enough weekends on the couch in yoga pants and you feel like you’re the only one! Thank you so much for this post. My DVR works overtime to record all of my favs and I honestly have a better time my with dog and my boyfriend lounging in our little nest than I do getting sloppy in loud clubs. I need to keep that pep talk taped to my mirror!

  8. Thanks for all the comments everyone! I’m glad everyone loves staying home as much as I do :)

  9. Rules to live by! That line about the Lululemon’s and streaming Netflix is me to a T- I am a shameless homebody. Thanks for the excellent tips!

  10. It’s always that last bit of time, right before I need to start getting ready, that I really have to give myself a push. I try to remind myself of how much fun it was last time and how I can always leave if it’s not (Shark Week will be on when I get home too!).

  11. “My couch and Lululemon Still pants have a rapturous siren song that hold me in chains of bliss. So does streaming Netflix… and books… and studying… and not being outside.”

    Truly, we are soul sisters. I’ve been forcing myself to be more social this summer as well, and all your rules are spot on!

  12. OMG we are all going to see each other out this weekend now! Oh yeah, I don’t do school nights either : )

  13. You totally just plagiarized…what’s in my mind! If that’s possible. Haha. Just kidding…but really…I swear, I’ve been forcing myself to go out every weekend too…and deep down, I know I could use it. Take this weekend, for an example. I was invited to a bachelorette party & I made the excuse that I don’t know the girl getting married. I mean, I WAS invited…and that’s all that should have mattered. I have an excuse all the time. But still…when I finally do want to go out, getting ready just makes my decision even harder. “Nothing to wear,” or “Should I wear make-up?” “My phone isn’t charged & I can’t go out without my phone. I NEED the ability to update my Twitter at any given moment 24-7.” Anyway, my final excuse to stay home this weekend & skip the bachelorette party was, “The Social Distortion Guitar Sessions that I’ve been waiting for all freaking Summer is finally on. I can’t miss it. Hello!” Don’t judge me! It’s freaking Mike Ness man! I mean, I have DVR, but it’s just not the same as watching it the first time it comes on.

    Anyway, I found out that I missed another kick ass time with a bunch of fun crazy chicks. I wanted to have a good time too! I mean, I admit it, I’d love to be a professional party girl, at least one year of my life. I’m not getting any younger, and every girl should have at least one year as as a professional party girl. I think. But, thanks for this. It made me realize that I may not be the only one out there that thinks the Sookie + Eric + Bill love triangle that is True Blood is a damned good excuse to avoid social outings. Haha. I’m kidding. Orrr am I? But really, this is all too true. I learned that if I force myself to go out, I almost never regret it and if I don’t go, I regret it anyway. Sometimes…I just never win. Sometimes…being a girl is so hard. Why were we made to be so indecisive? And…should I go out this weekend?

    • Another thing I always say to myself is “you can always go home if it sucks, but you can never change the fact that you didn’t go”. Go get your fun girl!!! Make me proud!

  14. So relevant..I still need to work on rule #2 though.

  15. This is incredibly relevant to my life – I often find the ‘before going out’ stage, much more difficult than the ‘during’ stage. But I’ve more or less been tryin to apply some of these rules for some months, and let me tell you, they really do make a difference. The first one is especially important. Awesome article – it’s good to know there are other people that are like me!

  16. Good call(s), girl. I have let anti-social take over my life in a big way and needed some concrete tips to combat it. Glad to know there are others like me. :)

  17. I agree with Erika, always have a planned way home (or two) which includes money to cover a cab just in case

  18. Love #4! I learned this lesson from an episode of How I Met Your Mother and have followed it ever since.

  19. This post is such great advice. I always tend towards the hermit lifestyle. There are weeks where mid-week I think “We should go out this weekend”, but by the time said weekend rolls around I have no desire anymore. Then I have to force myself. I always have fun, but it’s still work to get me out the door.

  20. Might I also suggest cab/transit fare! You never know where you’ll end up or if the girl who gave you a ride decides to have a dramatic episode. I think you have all the essential bases covered and I couldn’t agree more, I have learned most of these lessons the hard (and sometimes fun) way.