Now, I could see that this wouldn’t be a big deal to some people. Some of you are probably reading this thinking, “…and I care because?” But I know the truth. I know that the minute I make this confession, most of you start to judge. And why shouldn’t you? Star Wars defined a generation. It made kids obsessed with the movies. I’m sure it did more but since I’ve never seen it I can’t speak to the power of the film – I’m not that much of a poser.
I’ve spent years trying to avoid the subject. When Star Wars comes up in conversation (which is always does somehow) my heart starts to beat a little faster. I get a little sweaty. I mean, people are about to find out the truth … that I’m a movie fraud. That I’ve never seen one of the greatest trilogies of all times (it’s a trilogy, right?) Sometimes I just make small talk and nod along with the convo. I’m not an idiot – I can talk about Princess Leia like the best of them. Sort of. I can talk about her hair. That’s enough, right? But really, I have no idea what on earth you are all talking about when you start to get into the Wookiee of it all.
So why don’t I just watch Star Wars? Because (and this is the real confession) … I just don’t want to. Nothing about the movie appeals to me. I know it’s supposed to be the perfect movie, but the Bible is supposed to be the greatest story ever told and I don’t feel like cracking that one open either today. Light sabers were just never my thing. As everyone else was busy recreating Luke’s battles, I was busy recreating the choreography from Newsies.
Today, I write it for everyone to read – I have never seen Star Wars. If you want to judge me, go ahead. I’m secretly judging you for having never seen Grease or Pete’s Dragon. Now those … those are my jam. So sue me.
** I have though seen the Ewok Adventure. Now those guys were cuties.