Confession of the Week: I've Never Seen Star Wars

Now, I could see that this wouldn’t be a big deal to some people.  Some of you are probably reading this thinking, “…and I care because?”  But I know the truth.  I know that the minute I make this confession, most of you start to judge. And why shouldn’t you?  Star Wars defined a generation.  It made kids obsessed with the movies.  I’m sure it did more but since I’ve never seen it I can’t speak to the power of the film –  I’m not that much of a poser.

I’ve spent years trying to avoid the subject.  When Star Wars comes up in conversation (which is always does somehow) my heart starts to beat a little faster.  I get a little sweaty.  I mean, people are about to find out the truth … that I’m a movie fraud.  That I’ve never seen one of the greatest trilogies of all times (it’s a trilogy, right?)  Sometimes I just make small talk and nod along with the convo.  I’m not an idiot – I can talk about Princess Leia like the best of them.  Sort of.  I can talk about her hair.  That’s enough, right? But really, I have no idea what on earth you are all talking about when you start to get into the Wookiee of it all.

So why don’t I just watch Star Wars?  Because (and this is the real confession) … I just don’t want to.  Nothing about the movie appeals to me.   I know it’s supposed to be the perfect movie, but the Bible is supposed to be the greatest story ever told and I don’t feel like cracking that one open either today.  Light sabers were just never my thing.  As everyone else was busy recreating Luke’s battles, I was busy recreating the choreography from Newsies.

Today, I write it for everyone to read – I have never seen Star Wars.  If you want to judge me, go ahead.  I’m secretly judging you for having never seen Grease or Pete’s Dragon.  Now those … those are my jam.  So sue me.

** I have though seen the Ewok Adventure.  Now those guys were cuties.

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