Clutch Your Pearls, Ladies. It's Time to Defend Olivia Black from ‘Pawn Stars'

This past week, Olivia Black was fired from the television show Pawn Stars for having a “porn past” after a 2008 photo shoot with SuicideGirls surfaced. I know we’re only a sentence into the story, but let’s recap: A show that has nothing to do with sex but still uses the allure of sexual suggestion to draw in a predominately male demographic fired a woman for taking control of her own allure in the past. Okay, great. We’re all caught up on this being a complete mess.

I’m so annoyed that there is another story out there that calls for us to demonstrate that we must still defend female sexuality. I’m sick of having this argument, and being so annoyed makes me feel guilty. Like I’m not good enough of a feminist. I write this all with trepidation, waiting for the first e-mail from a woman who is A Better Feminist than I am who thinks I need to be lectured on how my laziness is part of the problem. But I am, I’m so sick of it. I don’t know why we just can’t be okay with boobs.

According to Wikipedia, a major selling point to the owners of World Famous Gold & Silver Pawn Shop in Las Vegas, Nevada found Olivia to be the top candidate in an interviewing process because she was just so darn attractive. Chumlee, a man who looks like his name, volunteered to train her in his off hours. This lead to whispers around the pawn shop that Chumlee had the hots for the new employee. This is the same man who, in an episode titled “Peaches and Pinups”, had a female employee  help him appraise a box of vintage Playboy magazines, despite her protests.

Co-founder Rick Harrison has admitted to dropping out of the 10th grade, preferring to make $2000 a week selling fake Gucci bags.

Overtones of sexual harassment and being a former criminal are things that The History Channel can apparently deal with, but don’t you dare come at them with a photo of your butt cheeks. Because that sets a bad example. Exposed butt cheeks are a nationwide killer. We need a gun in every home to stop these people exposing their butt cheeks. A police officer in every public school. Please, won’t you think of the children? They can’t know that people have butt cheeks.

This isn’t about telling you that it’s okay to post nude photos of yourself online, because maybe it’s not. That’s not a judgment call anyone can make for any one other person. It’s important to remember that what you want now, who you are now, and how you want to express yourself now are not the things you want or the person you will be in five years. A picture can last literally longer than your own lifetime. Your pre-frontal cortex isn’t even fully developed until around age 25, which is super unfortunate because that is the part of the brain that helps you exercise good judgement. So to all of the 18 year olds out there thinking about sending tit pix to the boy in their algebra class: maybe think about it first. You might get hired on a stupid television show that will later fire you. Or maybe nothing will happen. Leslie Mann’s boobs are on display in This is 40 and it is hilarious and nothing bad will ever happen to her future because of the scene. It demonstrates that boobs have a wider acting range than just sexy. They can also play funny pretty well too. Like an attached prop. Gallagher should have a sex change.

So, here we are. Another goddamned article stating that boobs are okay. Just a drop in the Pro-Boobies ocean. Sometimes I feel like we’re screaming and no one who holds any real power to make real change is paying attention, but then I  remember one of the truer cliches: we can be that change. Did you hear about the group of 200 women who brutally attacked a rapist and then all confessed to the murder together in solidarity? How unfortunate their voices weren’t heard when they tried to report their rapes to the police, only to have to fall on deaf ears. It may have prevented the situation from escalating in such a way, but change needed to happen somehow. And that’s what a singular voice gets you: change.

Olivia Black getting fired is hardly comparable to a serial rapist, but it shows us how far we’ve come in this country. We don’t have to stop now. We don’t have to settle for anything less than equality. On the surface this is just the job of one lady we don’t personally know, but I think it’s representative of something a little bit bigger. Kind of like how my left boob is a little bit bigger than my right.

(I wonder if that sentence will be used to get me fired someday?)

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