Late 20s Rut-BustingHow to Spring Clean the Typical 20-Something's ApartmentMary Traina

Monica Geller made us all look bad with her clean routine on Friends, sure, but for the average twentysomething, keeping a clean space is a struggle – probably because we constantly live under the assumption that we’re about to move on to something better (as millionaires). But if your apartment looks like a room someone normally has to pay ransom to get out of, read on… or pass this along to that guy you’re dating who never seems to have toilet paper. I’ve also dated that guy – but let’s not make it awkward. These tips will help anyone conquer the most stubborn of twentysomething messes.

The Dirty Shower That Makes Guests Gag

You can clean a grimy shower head in your sleep. Just tie a bag of white vinegar around the head and leave it there overnight. White vinegar is mold’s worst enemy and if you hate bleach, it’s a less harsh alternative to consider. While you’re there, you might as well dump some of the white vinegar (about half a cup) down your shower drain along with some baking soda (another half cup) – then rinse it with hot water after a few minutes. This will prevent you from ever having to stand in your roommate’s filth again due to a clogged shower drain.

The Dying Plants That Look Like Nightmare Before Christmas Set Pieces

Like the look of fresh cut flowers in your kitchen? Of course you do, ya little Martha Stewart! You can buy a packet of something called “flower food” to keep your flowers fresh for an extra few days, BUT this can also be done on the cheap by dropping a penny in the water and/or crushing up an Asprin to sprinkle in the water – both inhibit the growth of bacteria. Change the water every couple of days and enjoy!

The Busted Coffee Maker That Sits There Collecting Dust

When you become an adult, it’s time to make your Mr. Coffee Mr. Clean (that’s a little fun with words – don’t drink Mr. Clean, guys). If your coffee maker has mysteriously sputtered out, your problem is probably the mold that begins to grow inside the machine and the calcium deposits that may grow so large they stop the machine from working altogether. To clean them, get a bottle of the neat freak’s best friend: white vinegar. Just run through a solution of equal parts water and white vinegar a few times, as if you were making a pot of coffee without the coffee. Once that’s done, run water through a few times to wash out the vinegar taste and voila! There you have it! Clean as Mr. Clean’s shiny head! (Again, just reminding you not to actually eat off an old man’s head…)

The Microwave That Looks Like van Gogh Was In There Painting with Pasta Sauce

Before you wipe down the inside of your microwave, put a cup of water with some baking soda in there and heat until it boils. The steam will soften up all the stuff that’s been stuck in there since your last hangover when your Spaghetti-Os exploded and you couldn’t deal. Steaming is much easier than scraping. Scraping is for lovers. Or is that Virginia?

The Blinds That Three Generations of Renters Have Forgotten to Dust

Don’t just dust your blinds – let’s take things up a notch! Dust your blinds with an old dryer sheet. Dryer sheets are the natural enemy of static cling. This means rubbing them on your sweater will keep random hairs from sticking to you and rubbing them on your blinds will create an antistatic force field to help keep dust from settling again.

The Tape Residue on the Wall From Old Posters

Everyone has their favorite cleaning chemical, just like everyone has their favorite member of One Direction (the one with the hair, obviously), and I’m officially coming out as a Goo Gone lover. When it comes to cleaning, Goo Gone is basically the spit of God. It’ll take the gum off your shoes, the sticker residue off your mirror and the pants right off an impressed suitor! Plus, it has a nice citrus smell.

The Hoarder-In-Training Clutter

Be a little more cut-throat about what items get to stick around your place for sentimental value. This isn’t a neat chemical cleaning trick, but it’s the most valuable lesson I learned while trying to reduce clutter and keep clean in my twenties. It’s really easy to keep things around for their “sentimental” value when you are young. You have, like, maybe 10 years tops to look back at fondly. But as you near thirty, that time has doubled and so has all your “sentimental” stuff. If your best friend sent you a card that made you tear up when you moved away from each other for the first time, go ahead and keep things like that tucked away in a shoebox. But beyond that shoebox, all you’re doing is gathering clutter. Your favorite pair of shoes that are now full of holes? A cheap, old purse with a broken zipper? A VHS tape of almost anything? You’re never going to need these things again. Burn it all! Well, I mean, you don’t have to be dramatic. You don’t have to burn it. You can always just . . . I’M SERIOUS, BURN IT ALL and finally enjoy your roomier, cleaner space.

Featured image via quickmeme.com

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  1. “Spit of the Gods” I totally concur.