Champagne Problems

Badda Bing, Badda BLOCK

Wass’up cupcakes? Yours truly is embracing a healthy and happy way to make people pay up for being Annoying-Town USA. Ready to dig it? It’s simple, efficient and reversible anytime. It’s a little thing I like to call “Blocking”. Get friendly with it kids, its one of the more useful tools on the Internet today. This small little button enables you to make people disappear from your world whenever you’d like. Magic!

Now don’t get all weird face on me. After clicking, it doesn’t send said person a singing block-a-gram that they’ve been ostracized from your hip, social scene, it merely makes you invisible from their Internet life. So now, that person that done did you wrong can no longer (for as long as you’d like) access your page and get their kicks out of seeing what you are up to.

“But how is that a punishment, JC?” Well great question, imaginary person I use to ask questions. If you think about it, human beings try their best to communicate. Some people are more closed off, some people are more open, and then there are those people that just plain don’t care to communicate because they have no interest in confrontation. “Mellow peeps” is how my momma refers them. But we’re not dealing with “mellow peeps” here.

We are dealing with somebody whom, after many attempts from you to see eye-to-eye, still doesn’t catch the drift. Hence, you find yourself bugged by their existence. And more irritating is when you stumble upon past photographic proof that at some point in the past you guys were happy, perfect, and the best of friends. It’s a modern day form of torture. You come across a couple of minutes of down time at work, and “click-click” let’s see what your ex-best friend is doing without you in her life (Not…that..I…do…that). But, if you can’t see them, and they can’t see you, then the emotional tie that has negative repercussions doesn’t exist. It’s like locking them in your basement, legally.

Go ahead and remove that element, and move on. You can go about your life easy-breezy knowing that you will not be able to access their accounts when you’re a couple of glasses of vino deep, and the same will go for them. We have to learn how to cut ties, and get a handle on this internet thing as it becomes less and less private. Not everybody you meet needs to know your life. Yes, you have it up there in a public forum, but you also have a smidge of power to decide who’s worthy to snoop. And, guess what, Creepy Guy who superimposes himself into photos with me then sends them out? Your number’s up.

So, get your BLOCK on, beauties. It may seem a bit crazy at first, but guess what? People are crazy/beautiful. That’s why the button was invented. So click away and rid yourself of those memories till you have enough money to afford therapy. I salute you.

Image via The Occult Section
Video above not exclusive to Hellogiggles

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