Celebrating Bestie Day: Your BFF Checklist Eliza Hurwitz

Happy Bestie Day! In order to celebrate this wonderful day, I’ve decided to share what I’ve learned about having a bestie. As a child, making friends was difficult. I was quiet and relied entirely on my sisters. I eventually separated from them through gymnastics. Because aside from being quiet, my pint size and deceptive strength differentiated me from my sisters. When I first started the sport I loved it, but I felt alone. I wanted to quit because I was still struggling to make friends. One day, however, I was switched to a different level class where I met my best friend, Jill, and everything changed.

Jill and I bonded over our love of Saturday Night Live. Until I met Jill, I didn’t know anyone my age that liked the show as much as I did. We would write and perform our own sketches. We would make up funny dances and songs in hopes of emulating our favorite Saturday Night Live characters. Because of Jill, I finally felt confident being myself. And that is just one of the many things having a bestie is all about.

Here are some other ways you can determine that your bestie is your bestie.

Your Bestie Should Make You laugh

People say that laughter is the best medicine and I think this is completely true. Laughing makes you happy. Having a bestie means laughing so hard you cry or at least until your face hurts from smiling.

Your Bestie Should Inspire You

In gymnastics I was timid and hesitant. It took me a long time to learn new skills because of my fears. Jill, on the other hand, was a daredevil. I admired her willingness to take risks and strived to be like her. Today, Jill continues to impress me with her determination, strength, her ease in social situations and self-confidence. Even off the balance beam, I still strive to emulate her. Being able to admire qualities in your bestie is important. Whether it be their drive, courage or their unique sense of humor, finding something you revere will make you strive to be a better person and make your friendship stronger.

Your Bestie Should Want the Best for You

There should never be any jealousy between you and your bestie. Despite competing against Jill in gymnastics, we always cheered each other on and supported one another. We even made up a special handshake that we would do before meets for shared luck. Our support for each other continues to this day, as does our handshake. Your bestie should encourage and motivate you.

Your Bestie Should Be Able to Tell You the Truth No Matter What

Whether you’ve got food in between your teeth or you’re dating a jerk, I don’t care how uncomfortable or upsetting the truth is, if your best friend is truly your best friend, they will tell you. And you should listen even if the truth hurts, because if they are your bestie,  you know they have your back.

Your Bestie Should Listen

Feeling like you can talk to your best friend about anything is directly proportional to their ability to listen. The inability to listen and empathize with a friend is a sure sign of selfishness. Through listening, a bestie will know when their friend needs a shoulder to cry on or the opportunity to vent without judgment. Finding a good listener is hard, but it is just as important- more important, maybe!- as speaking.

Your Bestie Should Be Generous and Giving

Whether that generosity is with clothing or advice, a best friend should be willing to share. Friendship is about compassion and kindness. It is not about giving without the expectation of receiving.

Your Bestie Should Be Trustworthy

You should feel like you can tell your bestie anything, without fear of judgment or fear that they will gossip behind your back. Relationships are built on trust, and if you can’t trust your bestie, who can you trust? 

Your Bestie Should Be Loyal

A bestie will stand by you no matter what. Going through a stressful, difficult time is when you need a friend the most. Having a bestie to help you through a struggle makes it easier and that much more manageable.

Your Bestie Should Be Fun

You should have fun with your bestie no matter what you do. Friendship and fun go hand in hand.

I think the most important thing a best friend can give you, however, is the confidence to open up.  Being shy meant I kept a lot to myself. But once I meant Jill I had someone, other than my sisters, whom I willingly and wished to share things with.

What are some ways you know your bestie is your bestie?

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